I woke up pretty sad today. My thoughts are filled with doubts, fears, and hopelessness. What I am going to do this year, however, is allow myself to feel the tough stuff and process my emotions 💡.
My new year’s new habit will be to journal every day and help myself to heal and feel. No matter how low I get, I will allow myself time to get through the hard stuff without pushing it away.
Goal: Love me enough to find productive ways to process my thoughts and feelings.
What are some habits you’ll like to start in 2020?.
A collage depiction of what self-love looks like inside of me, traveling through my veins.
Going Back to Therapy
For the last month and a half or so I’ve been seeing a therapist for the first time since that one semester in my senior year of college. Although it’s difficult to manage all the emotions that come up as I talk through all of “my stuff”, I’m continuing to come in contact with the parts of me that were previously tucked deeply away. The more I talk and navigate my experiences, the more I’m able to identify the parts of me that need healing.
In these few weeks I learned three big things about my personality, habits, and tendencies:
1. I’m a highly sensitive person and a hopeless romantic.
2. I have issues with feeling good enough and loving myself in the same intensity that I love others.
3. I’m a recovering perfectionist and still struggle with “doing” too much to feel seen. I try to “stay busy” in order to distract myself from feelings unlovable, worthless, and enough. I crave outside stimuli to try to fill a void inside.
The Creative Cure
As I’m learning about what it means to be me, the good and the bad, I found that creativity and writing are my most helpful tools for feeling better.
Because I’m aware of my perfectionism, I’m trying to reverse and redirect the energies I put in “doing”, “pleasing” and “overexerting” back into myself. As I practice what feeds my passion, I’m beginning to realize what love means for me. The more I see what love is for me, the more I can pour back into myself the void of practicing and feeling self-love.
Passion and Learning Self-love
Passion is the manifestation of self-love — It’s love in doing. Passion is one of the only feelings (along with ambition, for example) that can not be given to someone else. To feel passion is to come in contact with something in yourself that feeds your needs and fuels your purpose.
When I create, write, and tell my story I feel passion. Doing what I feel passion for allows me to access peace and satisfaction perfectionism never can.
As I move closer to reclaiming my self-love, allowing it to travel to all parts of me (including my perspective of myself), I will use writing and creativity to help heal me of my self-love wound.
Some Advice
Find your passion. Find what helps you feel good and accomplished. Learn about yourself and learn what love means to you. Feel and access the energy of love. Once you’ve found the peace that comes with love, you can practice love for yourself and with others.
Self-care with unbreakable self-love is powerful and can help you build a healthier you.
Allow yourself to feel even when it gets uncomfortable. Experience your emotions. Understand what is happening and grow in self-awareness.
When experiencing uncomfortable emotions ask yourself questions:
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Have I felt like this before?
Do I need some help processing this emotion?
Who can I ask for help?
Is creativity helpful? (Should I write this down? Maybe draw it out? Make a collage?
Is this emotion influencing my behavior? Is this behavior helpful or harmful?
What does self-care look like for me when I feel this emotion?
How can I increase my mindfulness when feeling this emotion?
What are my next steps?
**Question graphic! Sticker set will be available in my Etsy shop.**
Experiencing certain emotions can be scary, but allowing yourself to feel shows you how best to support yourself or ask for support.
Feel and not dismiss, reject, or ignore how your body is reacting to your environment and experiences. You can learn so much about yourself by reflecting on what is happening.
Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to feel.
The proof of worthiness is self-acceptance. To be worthy is to accept all that is you unapologetically. There is no need to go above and beyond to convince anyone of your greatness. You are great and beautiful all on your own. Be yourself.
Accept all that is you. Become comfortable with your self-worth separate from others and how they treat you or how much work you finished.
Release what’s causing you anxiety. Accept what’s unknown. Take one moment at a time. Let go of what’s triggering your depression. Realize what’s happening now and appreciate the present moment.
Allow yourself time and space to forgive and move on. What does that look like for you? Even if you are forgiving yourself for holding onto things that hurt you, grant the present you permission to begin the process of transferring past memories into strength and anxiety into ambition.
It’s okay to feel and reflect. Think things through as you realize and release.
Change is scary, but change can be what pushes us in the right direction. If we are to accept new opportunities and challenge our own complacency, we must first welcome change.
There are people, places, and experiences waiting for us to open ourselves to something different than what we are used to. To be able to see ourselves in something better, we can’t be afraid to want something more or try something out of our comfort zone.
We must establish clear boundaries, believe we can thrive, know our limits, and understand our worth to embrace the changes that will allow our lives to reap the benefits of everything we deserve.
SparklyWarTanks 