Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Creative Writing, Confessions

You are a Life Worth Living

I’ve been awake at night and asleep during the day.

My eyes dried with the stale realization that I don’t matter.

My voice is low with no echo and no significance. Fingers pointing at me because I’m the dramatic one.

My motivation has wasted from its high expectation.

I fall flat on my face with this realization.

I feel broken, shattering into a million pieces, so I try to grab onto the nearest person to me, but they look at me confused…uncaring…whats wrong with you?

I scream but no sounds comes out. I’m sitting alone. I’m holding my knees to my chest.

Pain.

I feel pain.

Invisible damage.

But then…

I see the sun come up.

And still I can’t see who I’m supposed to become.

My life has no meaning.

I write it down so I can see it…

You are a life worth living.

And again…

You are a life worth living.

And while I wipe the pieces of my broken self and realize it’s just shedding ashes from the volcano that just erupted inside me, I get up.

Maybe, just maybe I will begin to see that my life is necessary.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Late Night Talks With Nina, mental health, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Late Night talks with Nina: Let’s talk about Depression and Mental Illness

Let’s not only look out for our “strong friends” in the wake of the multiple suicides that has surfaced in the past month. Let’s talk about depression wholeatically and ways that we can be helpful to one another. Let’s talk about mental illnesses and things that we can do to better the lives of the ones we see show symptoms that are obvious and not so obvious. Let’s be aware and awake for one another. Let’s be supportive, invested, and not afraid to sit and talk to each other about mental struggles we go through. Let’s look out for everyone and not just the ones we suspect are “too strong” and may be hiding depression. Let’s instead understand, learn, and gain perspective about mental illnesses and ways that we, as their loved ones, can continuously aid in their healing process. Let the ones who are struggling be comfortable enough to talk about their struggles even if it’s vague or confusing at first. Let us be authentic to one another. Let us ask questions, be present, and actively love on each other.

Posted in Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Declarations to Live by and Internalize: Cry

There is no shame in crying in order to heal and recover. Give yourself time and space to reflect and to grow in your pain. Don’t be ashamed of your pain.

Let your pain out. Let it dissolve in the freshness of something new. Become better.

Let yourself become a product of a freed pain. Help someone else free their pain.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

I can Feel Something Big Coming

I’ve never felt so proud of myself ever before.

The excitement to create or make something and call it mine.

To give myself credit is to create power in myself.

I feel my purpose in this. This is my healing and my strength.

My self-worth is my motivation. And as I become more and more engulfed in my self-journey, I can feel joy like no other.

A joy that is great and more overwhelming then I could imagine.

This. Is. Me.

The way I can imagine something and give it life. The way I can create using words. A story made into art.

This is sparklywartanks.

Sparklywartanks is the birth of my identity. The creation of the lion in my dream.

I will work until I build what my vision has crafted.

The hardest part of my life gave birth to my purpose so I thank the struggle for making the diamond.

My motivation has never been this intense.

It’s time to create something. Something that reflects what I see in my mind because it’s beautiful.

It’s peace…

And happiness.

Posted in Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk

#Writeitdown Declarations to Live by and internalize: Know Who You Are

It’s not enough to have a voice and to use it. It’s also essential to know your worth and understand your value. Understand your voice in your community and your identity. Your importance goes to your life and to those around you.

Establishing your life as value and worthy is the first step in healing and processing. Use “I am” phrases in order to recognize yourself as powerful and present.

This is who I am

This is why I’m here

Your voice is as far as the echo it gives so rawr out and make yourself known. Let your echo goes as far as the sky will let it.

You are important and you deserve to live and help others understand your existence. Use your voice. Know yourself.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, mental health, Notes, Potential and Worth, Reflection, Self-Care

SWT 100 Notes Note 28: Making Decisions while Having High Functioning Anxiety

Before I developed anxiety, I would push myself to my limit. My perfectionism didn’t allow me to do anything but my best, and because of that I never looked at myself or my health before making decisions. In my days after college living with anxiety, making decisions about everything has to be thought out with my health first changing my approach on life entirely.

I’ve been in the most uncomfortable situations because I have to explain to people that I can’t. I’ve never known myself to not do something because of my mental health, but the past 2 years have been both humiliating and embarrassing. I have to measure stress levels in environmens, decide what’s best for me based on whether I would get overwhelmed or not and it’s not been easy what’s so ever.

I’ve learned, however, that because of my anxiety I’m the most important person in my life. If I want to heal, I have to put myself first no matter who judges me and thinks that I’m weak, overexagerating, or believes what I’m going through is not real. Although I’ve cried having this realization many times in the past year, I can say that I refuse to have another panic attack another day in my life. I will not backtrack my healing to make money or satisfy anyone’s inability to see the realness in my struggle.

I’m my first priority and I will find peace in my mental chaos. I will surround myself with things that are good and not allow anyone to tell me that I’m crazy.

I love myself and will continue with my healing in ways that I know best. The only person who can tell me how to heal me is me. I will heal by understanding and knowing myself.

My healing will progress by me having a voice about my well-being.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Notes, Self-Talk, Uncategorized

SWT 100 Notes Note 27: Love in a Danger Zone

Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. How is it that I can love deeply like this? I think of the ways that can make someone else smile. I spend hours looking for something or thinking up ideas on ways I can express my love. Why? Is it that serious? But then I feel bad because sometimes I don’t get the magnitude of love back that I’m giving so I break down. I feel betrayed. Why do I love like this? Even when I can’t afford to love like I do, I’ll go broke drowning in my giving.

I wish I can give the world when I can’t. I’m working too hard to get the love I’m letting out. I don’t want to look crazy for being creative with my love so I feel like I’m retreating to a dark place in my self-esteem. I’m afraid of being hurt and embarrassed for doing too much.

I just want love too.

Posted in Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Talk, Uncategorized

#writeitdown Declarations to Live by and Internalize: Be Brave

I will be brave in the next steps of my life. I will take the risks necessary to get where I want. I will be the boss and I will not be afraid or anxious to make decisions. I deserve to want to wake up because I’m living the life I worked to build. I’m able to do what I put my potential to.

I’m strong in my bravery. I’m my own limit. I can do this.