Although the year just began and we’re only in the second month, I’ve been faced with the most difficult challenges to date. From the toughest mental health battles to realizing my insecurities and toxic traits, this year is showing me to put my peace first.
I forgive myself for accepting what I don’t deserve. I move forward in claiming and proclaiming my worth and value.
Realization: I am worth more than I settle for.
Note to self:
The proof of worthiness is self-acceptance. To be worthy is to accept all that is you unapologetically. There is no need to go above and beyond to convince anyone of your greatness. You are great and beautiful all on your own. Be yourself.
Accept all that is you. Become comfortable with your self-worth separate from others and how they treat you or how much work you finished.
You
Are
Enough.
You
Are
Beautiful.
You
Have
Intrinsic
Worth.
When I’m not doing well or if I can’t seem to silence my intrusive thoughts, I write. So, here is me writing right now:
I know you believe no one will want you. You fear being alone. You can’t imagine being loved or appreciated. You don’t see anything but rejection so you’ve given up.
I know you can’t sleep, so you go to bed at like 3. Some tears roll down your face but no one sees.
I know you’re trying to hide in isolation. That’s how you deal with things.
All this is silly, right? You’ll be fine. What you’re sad about is not important, it’ll happen…eventually.
Just focus on you.
Focus on you.
On you.
You.
Me.
Me.
Me and my.
Me and my feelings.
Me and my feelings are valid.
This is how I feel and it’s been spiraling for a while.
I don’t need anyone to want me. This is me, me and now.
I’ve been hurting a lot and keeping it to myself. When I open up, I feel as though what hurts me isn’t important enough.
To be lonely and isolated, to not feel hope, love, or purpose.
That right there is the wound that needs mending.
I must love myself to move past this pain that comes from way back when.
I am important.
I don’t need validation.
I embody my purpose.
I am powerful.
I am worthy.
Love flows freely in my life.
So I know.
I know.
I just needed a moment to let all this out…again.
July was an exciting month for me! Following becoming a community leader on The Mighty, I had the privilege of hosting my own #CheckInWithMe three-part Notes Series!
My series included an intro (which was sent out in the #CheckInWithMe Newsletter via email) as well as a post on my Mighty Page.
Below is a sneak peek of the three parts.
**You are always welcomed to join the conversation and write a note!
Part 1
Portion of intro
…Whether I’m on the go or sitting on my bed with a million thoughts, checking in with myself is the most productive way I’ve learned to stop, think and reflect. In doing so, I’m able to pinpoint how I’m feeling as well as possible reasons and next steps I can take to feel better. Writing is the main tool I use to make all of my thoughts more tangible — it allows me to vent and get everything out.
Starting can be the most difficult task when writing, but not to worry! I’m sharing some writing prompts above so you can #CheckInWithMe if you have a hard time checking in with yourself.
Here is a list of writing prompts you can use to kick-start your checking in process:
Link to my Mighty Post for part 1 here.
Part 2 (Introducing Notes)
Portion of Intro
Aside from writing on The Mighty, I also enjoy creating small writing projects to stay focused on my goals. This helps me stay positive and keep track of my mental health. One habit I’ve picked up in my blogging/writing journey is to write a note, message or thought on my blog when I’m feeling down, curious, angry, anxious or accomplished. Keeping up with this habit has allowed me to build self-awareness and remain in touch with my inner thoughts while staying positive.
Whether it’s on a phone app, post-it note, dry-erase board or in a journal, today I challenge you to write a note too. It can be long or short, a simple thought or even a goal. The idea is to write down ideas and thoughts that motivate you to keep going. The note might even help you to write something more extensive in the future!
In your note you can write:
To get started you can ask yourself how you are feeling, what you want to accomplish, why you are having recurring thoughts about a specific subject, next steps to a goal, or encouraging words you would like to be reminded of.
Link to my Mighty post for part 2 here.
Part 3
**Mighty post and intro are the same.
Mighty post
Title: Keep Checking in With Yourself. Keep Writing Notes.
It’s okay to not feel okay today or any other day. Although some days are more difficult than others check in with yourself and write, be creative. Writing notes has saved me from feeling trapped and voiceless and can help you too. Write a note to remind yourself that you can get through whatever you are going through.
Thank you to everyone who shared and commented last week or this week. You are brave and amazing.
Remember that you are filled with purpose and worth. Your power is immense and you can achieve all that you believe you can. Your voice and story are important. There is only one of you and your voice is one of a kind.
Keep writing notes!
You can find this post on The Mighty here!
Writing notes has been a part of my Sparkly experience for about 2 years. I’m excited to share the impact of writing and how it can help you too!
The more I heal and become who I want to be, the more excited I am to share what helped me get where I am.
Sparkly is a space where I not only write to inspire and motivate, but it’s also a space where I make tangible the obstacles I face in hopes of finding balance and understanding. With that being said, I’ve been experiencing an inner battle with myself (and often see it in others who I care about).
Finding love and acceptance is difficult in the 20 something ages. We often feel like we have to find love and begin the process of building bonds with anyone who comes our way and sparks even the simplest of interests. The issues in this process, however, especially those who are caring, sensitive, and good hearted is we let our guard down in hopes of making that interest work even if that person is not good for us.
As we fear being alone, rejected, neglected, abandoned, or even starting over, and in pursuits to “fix” the broken pieces of potential love, we often forget self-care, boundaries, and our worth. We convince ourselves that our “love” for that potential is what will somehow change and evolve the toxicity of the relationship that’s been built. We create this love with the small growth we see in something that we want so bad to work.
We care too much about the other and not enough about ourselves.
With even the most common of sense, or the conversations that we think will help the other understand us, not everyone has good intentions, not everyone is good for us, and not everyone can/wants to change. Some people see no issues in what they do.
Whether it’s built up trauma from childhood, their own defense mechanisms, or “just how they are,” we are not responsible for igniting growth or enduring pain and abuse from anyone. Just because we can see how much someone can grow does not mean we have to be the stepping stones to that growth, if that growth is even authentic.
While we ourselves are responsible for our own happiness, growth, and self-development, so are the ones that we take up that responsibility for. If they see that they are hurting someone and continue to hurt them, let them go. You are way too valuable. They need to grow on their own, without latching on to anyone to guide the way for them. Making them feel good or allowing their toxic behavior to persist without consequences will enable them to continue in their destructive nature.
In the slightest moment where you feel uncomfortable, or confused listen to your body signals to understanding what to do. Stop ignoring the signs of doing better for yourself.
I know we have so much love to give, and we want to be accepted in order to nurture another (as it may nutures us and our trauma/people pleasing tendencies) we have to find peace and acceptance within ourselves. We can attract those who are hurt and in your conflicting intentions and personalities create something unhealthy.
My Inner Child and Perfectionism
Growing up I was a perfectionist. And while I’m now able to regulate my impulses to go well past my emotional and mental limits, as a child my self-worth depended on overachieving to feel seen and heard. Whether it was a school assignment, cleaning my room, or comparing myself to everyone else, I found that my high expectations built an inner bully that still rests in the inner child inside me.
Connecting with my inner child is a bit painful, but it allows me to begin to let go and progress to a more workable and healthy relationship with myself. I want to love myself more in my recovery with depression. As I feel the pain resurface, I’m learning to let it go. I imagine speaking with my inner child while building trust and honesty with myself.
Soothing as a Process of Moving Forward
Workable self-talk and writing are two soothing tools I use when experiencing mental turmoil. Detaching my thoughts from my mind onto my phone or paper helps me to see what I’m going through using words. I’m able to soothe myself and create something positive as I switch negative thoughts into more positive ones.
The more I write, the more I can show my inner child that it’s okay to feel hurt. My worth is no longer connected to what I do but to who I am. In my journey of healing and recovery, I’m accepting all parts of myself without judgment. An increase in self-awareness is also an increase in self-love. Self-love means I will do what I can to be better and feel better.
Find it on The Mighty here
Have you ever felt “weird” or uncomfortable around a person, situation, experience, or place? Has your body ever told you that something isn’t right but you didn’t know whether you were being paranoid, nervous, or anxious for no reason?
In most, if not all experiences you will evaluate what’s going both consciously and unconsciously. Your intuition is a sudden feeling or reaction that tells you something about what’s going on that’s not always conscious or logical. Once you become in tune with how to navigate your intuition, it will become easier to protect yourself and your boundaries.
Listen closely to what your body is telling you. Know when you are anxious, nervous, uneasy, or not feeling “right” and what that means. Take the time to strengthen that “gut feeling.” It will only get better the more you listen. Stop ignoring your body’s signals.
Learn through the moments you are uninspired and unmotivated. Rest. Allow yourself time to search for your genuine motivation and what really drives you to do what makes you excited. Don’t push yourself past what you can already do for yourself. Wait. Everything will come rushing back.
Rethinking the New Year
The new year is not an excuse to try to do something different. The new year is not the only time where you have to start something better. We are faced with difficulties every day and every day is a continued chance to do something different and better. How can we think about our lives in ways that are progressive?
The more we procrastinate and remain indifferent or complacent with our current struggles, the less we will attempt to progress and learn from our mistakes and misfortunes. What are we going to do right now? How are we working toward our goals? In what ways will we set ourselves up for a steady transition for our next big moves?How to Make Reasonable Goals and Next Steps
As we navigate our schedules, we must include additional next steps and add them to our past accomplishments. Let’s continue building instead of starting something new and different than stopping. As we create new goals, we must motivate ourselves to finish them. How can we make our bigger goals into smaller goals? What can we do now versus later? What is our overall goal to accomplish? How can we continuously work on our resolutions and not abandon them? What are we doing that prohibits us from accomplishing what we want? How are we breaking up our resolutions and goals? What can we accomplish in a day versus in a month?
To change how we think about the year and beginnings, we must first know why we are starting something new and if we want to actually accomplish that goal. Are we continuing our toxic behaviors or working on them? What are our professional, personal, and emotional goals? What about our next moves will lead us closer to our bigger aspirations? Are we serious about this resolution?
As we think critically about what we will do next, remember that every moment is important. Downfalls, failures, and setbacks are apart of the process. Grow, learn, and change your approach until you achieve the results you want.
The new year can be a great time to improve yourself, but it’s not the only time. Don’t forget all the progress you’ve already made. Add on to that progress. Build yourself up. Make your goals, resolutions, next steps, and aspirations a priority.
Find article in link below
As time progresses and I’m learning to live better, taking care of my mental health and growing in my self-acceptance, I declare, confirm, and affirm that I will not allow anything to set me back. Although it’s been rough and I’ve been tired, I will continuously push myself to my potential. I’m able to be the advocate, writer, leader, influencer, and speaker I want to be.
Don’t allow anything or anyone to steal your motivation or stunt your ambitions to make the difference you know you can make. Push yourself to be better, to know better, and show others what progress looks like. Be the light for someone else.
Let’s do this!
SparklyWarTanks 