Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Therapy Takeaways: Holding Space

Source:Unkown

This image is a #Repost from Facebook.

So this post appeared on my Facebook feed and allowed me to reflect on the previous conversations I’ve had with my therapist. Conversations centered around relationship-building, relationship maintenance, and relationship termination. Relationship in this sense is defined by any bond I make with who I’ve come to encounter.
Relationships (whether platonic or romantic) are complex and whether we choose to remain in such interactions with others is what we have control over. We have control over who we surround ourselves with.

Still, while in my current frustrations, I’ve realized my habit of “holding space” although torn between whether im valued or thus appreciated in such bonds. When do I draw a line between moving past and holding space? In what ways can I hold space while also ensuring my needs are met and I feel the relationship is benefiting both parties?

Holding space is a form of love and acceptance. And while this year, in particular, has shown me my own strength in my “space holding” capacities, I do value this part of me. I hold space because I love my friends, family (actual, internet, from school or in other instances) and I choose to make room for them. Make room in how I love and support those who’ve shown me vulnerable parts of them.
And yes. Making space isn’t easy as everyone is different and I can’t control others’ “space holding” capacities, only my own. To become frustrated and rash is how I’ve come to include my own needs and put myself in the equation too. Holding space doesn’t mean I won’t get frustrated, triggered, or annoyed. Neither does it mean I’ll abandon myself in pursuit of others’ needs, but I still will make space as well as hold space.

To the people that I love and cherish, there is always space for you. I love you and will always have space in my love for you. If we’ve fallen out or hurt one another in some ways I still have space and I’m rooting for you wherever you are. If we’ve just got to meet one another and getting to know the complexities of one another’s character, my space is here and isn’t going anywhere. And as I hold space for others, my only desire is that others will also hold a space for me.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Are You Holding On To Something? Read This

Often times we stay stuck in the reality of our past. We dwell and ruminate on the what-ifs and maybes. We stand in what we can’t walk away from. But, that doesn’t have to be where we are forever. We can give ourselves permission to move forward. We can dissect and navigate our mistakes, regrets, and pain in order to clear the path of progress for ourselves. The more we become comfortable with our discomfort and adjust our eyes in the darkest parts of ourselves, we learn to forgive what we were and make room for who we can become.

Make room for yourself to walk forward. Clear a path so that you can forgive and lift the weight that’s been keeping you standing instead of moving forward. Manifest something different. Manifest clarity and grace. Manifest wellness and peace. You deserve to feel free. This is your time for freedom.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Reflection, Self-Talk

Cold

-459.6.

Attachment.
Abandonment.

Anger.
Anxiety.
Annoyed.
Attention.
Neglect.
Trauma.
Trigger.
Love.

Lust.
Broken.

Battle.
Pieces.

Pain.

Regret.
Relationship.

Frustration.
Confusion.
Casual.
Connection.
Care.
Come.
Enough.
Worthy.
Important.
Ignore.
Ignite.
On.

Off.
Leave.
Attachment.
Abandonment.
Neglect.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.
I give up.
I let go.
I don’t want you.
I don’t need you.
I come back to myself.
I’m first.
I’m all I have.
I’m all I need.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Is This the First Time You are Alone With Your Thoughts?

Busyness is how some of us distract ourselves from our thoughts and trauma. With so much to do, there is often no time to stop, reflect, and build a relationship with ourselves. In times of isolation, however, it’s more difficult to combat and dismiss the impulse of intrusive thoughts. This may even be the first time some are alone with their thoughts and can’t immediately turn to “doing” to deflect negative patterns of thinking.

What do we do when experiencing an overwhelming spiral of intrusive thoughts?

  • Acknowledge the thought. Ask yourself, Is this thought familiar?
  • Identify the feelings the thought brings up. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this?
  • Turn to a productive perspective to address spiraling. Is this thought true or intrusive?
  • Reassure yourself that you are doing the best you can and practice self-compassion. What is triggering this thought and what can I do to help myself reframe/dismiss this thought.
  • Write down what you are thinking or feeling. How intense is what I’m experiencing?
  • Ask for help or talk to someone you trust to get a different perspective.

Building a sense of self-awareness takes time and patience. There may even be parts of ourselves we may encounter for the first time and that’s okay. We are all multifaceted. Building a relationship with who we are is important.

This may be the first time we find ourselves actually reflecting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t grow and learn to love all parts of ourselves.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Mental Health, Productivity, and Worth: COVID-19

Remember that although some of us may be out of work, away from the people we love, or can’t pursue what we want to do right now, it doesn’t take away from our worth or value. Because we sometimes link what we “do” to our value, we lose our sense of self.

Message: You are valuable despite your productivity level or how much motivation you have. Give yourself time to figure out what time looks like for you. Reflect and get to know who you are, what you like to do, and what your next steps will be. Put yourself first. Step back from the noise and connect with your needs.

Mental health and well-being are important as we navigate the what-ifs and anxiety of uncertainty.

Ask yourself, what are my needs right now? How can I meet those needs?

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

You Are Valid

Stand firm and know that what you feel and experience is valid. There is no checklist or standard to what makes your story enough to cause pain, growth, or transformation. Wherever you are in your journey, whatever frustrations, confusions, turmoil, or changes influence how you are perceiving the events that happen to you is your call to make. There is no shame in feeling what you feel.

No need to compare yourself to anyone, downplay what you are feeling, or over-explain any part of your story. You are valid in whatever stage you are in. Receive the support or help that is necessary to get you where you need/want to go in your growth and healing.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

A Series of Quotes: Recycling Pain Through Our Behavior

Growth and Transformation Through Awareness: Pain and Toxic Traits

We all have a way in which we think and act based on our beliefs and ideas. Sometimes, however, our judgment and growth are clouded by the pain and trauma we often recycle through our toxic habits and behaviors.

The tricky thing about pain is how deeply rooted it is. We don’t see our behavior as toxic or hurtful until it’s too late and we’ve already hurt someone we might care for.

In order to identify those toxic cycles, we must grow in self-awareness. The more self-aware we become, the more we are able to catch ourselves and understand why we act the way we do. Although some behaviors may appear harmless, like numbing our feelings and trying not to cope with our pain, if repressed for too long, will eventually appear in our behavior.

Projection occurs when we place how we treat ourselves onto the people we love or want to love. Often unconsciously our own self-abandonment is how we begin to treat those around us.

The first step in feeling our pain is to accept that we’ve hurt someone and forgive ourselves. If we hold onto the pain and regret, it will stay with us and lead how we treat those who enter our lives.

Once aware, begin the process of identifying in what ways we can improve and begin to love ourselves in that process. Although we can’t undo another person’s pain, we can improve and heal through our own. We must learn who we are and the pain that guided our past self.

The growth that self-awareness brings can resurface memories and thoughts that created the original pain, but that process will birth a transformed perspective.

We learn through experiences and wanting to do better. Without the urge to do better, the pain will validate itself and remain how we see ourselves.

Important note: This process can be difficult to do on our own but I found therapy, self-help books, meditation, writing, reflective exercises, support groups, and mental health resources to be a great help in beginning this process.