Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Therapy Takeaways: Holding Space

Source:Unkown

This image is a #Repost from Facebook.

So this post appeared on my Facebook feed and allowed me to reflect on the previous conversations I’ve had with my therapist. Conversations centered around relationship-building, relationship maintenance, and relationship termination. Relationship in this sense is defined by any bond I make with who I’ve come to encounter.
Relationships (whether platonic or romantic) are complex and whether we choose to remain in such interactions with others is what we have control over. We have control over who we surround ourselves with.

Still, while in my current frustrations, I’ve realized my habit of “holding space” although torn between whether im valued or thus appreciated in such bonds. When do I draw a line between moving past and holding space? In what ways can I hold space while also ensuring my needs are met and I feel the relationship is benefiting both parties?

Holding space is a form of love and acceptance. And while this year, in particular, has shown me my own strength in my “space holding” capacities, I do value this part of me. I hold space because I love my friends, family (actual, internet, from school or in other instances) and I choose to make room for them. Make room in how I love and support those who’ve shown me vulnerable parts of them.
And yes. Making space isn’t easy as everyone is different and I can’t control others’ “space holding” capacities, only my own. To become frustrated and rash is how I’ve come to include my own needs and put myself in the equation too. Holding space doesn’t mean I won’t get frustrated, triggered, or annoyed. Neither does it mean I’ll abandon myself in pursuit of others’ needs, but I still will make space as well as hold space.

To the people that I love and cherish, there is always space for you. I love you and will always have space in my love for you. If we’ve fallen out or hurt one another in some ways I still have space and I’m rooting for you wherever you are. If we’ve just got to meet one another and getting to know the complexities of one another’s character, my space is here and isn’t going anywhere. And as I hold space for others, my only desire is that others will also hold a space for me.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Reflection, Self-Talk

Cold

-459.6.

Attachment.
Abandonment.

Anger.
Anxiety.
Annoyed.
Attention.
Neglect.
Trauma.
Trigger.
Love.

Lust.
Broken.

Battle.
Pieces.

Pain.

Regret.
Relationship.

Frustration.
Confusion.
Casual.
Connection.
Care.
Come.
Enough.
Worthy.
Important.
Ignore.
Ignite.
On.

Off.
Leave.
Attachment.
Abandonment.
Neglect.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.
I give up.
I let go.
I don’t want you.
I don’t need you.
I come back to myself.
I’m first.
I’m all I have.
I’m all I need.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Is This the First Time You are Alone With Your Thoughts?

Busyness is how some of us distract ourselves from our thoughts and trauma. With so much to do, there is often no time to stop, reflect, and build a relationship with ourselves. In times of isolation, however, it’s more difficult to combat and dismiss the impulse of intrusive thoughts. This may even be the first time some are alone with their thoughts and can’t immediately turn to “doing” to deflect negative patterns of thinking.

What do we do when experiencing an overwhelming spiral of intrusive thoughts?

  • Acknowledge the thought. Ask yourself, Is this thought familiar?
  • Identify the feelings the thought brings up. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this?
  • Turn to a productive perspective to address spiraling. Is this thought true or intrusive?
  • Reassure yourself that you are doing the best you can and practice self-compassion. What is triggering this thought and what can I do to help myself reframe/dismiss this thought.
  • Write down what you are thinking or feeling. How intense is what I’m experiencing?
  • Ask for help or talk to someone you trust to get a different perspective.

Building a sense of self-awareness takes time and patience. There may even be parts of ourselves we may encounter for the first time and that’s okay. We are all multifaceted. Building a relationship with who we are is important.

This may be the first time we find ourselves actually reflecting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t grow and learn to love all parts of ourselves.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

#IAM

If I were to tell you that the lists of things you’ve done, the relationships you have, or the job titles you’ve held don’t make you who you are, would you believe me?
If I were to tell you that you are whole just because, would you think I’m wrong?No matter what we do or who we think we have to become we are fundamentally valuable and worth living every single day. It doesn’t matter how much we get done, or how much we’ve been through, every day we wake up we hold the power of our value and worth and that never changes.”I am” despite of anything that follows that statement.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Life Lessons: What I Wish I Knew as a Child that I Know Now

Dear Nina,

It’s been a really rough 2020 already. It’s tried to knock you down, step on you, and declare your defeat. What 2020 doesn’t know is you already declared that no matter what, you will figure out how to bounce back EVERY SINGLE TIME. No matter how complicated or complex the struggle, nothing will overcome your resilience.

I know you’re hurting but I also know you learned so much through the pain you endured.

You learned that:

  • It’s okay to be sensitive.
  • It’s okay to cry and express emotions.
  • Learn early how to love and accept yourself.
  • You are different and that fact will catalyst your passion.
  • People will look out for themselves.
  • Put yourself first because no one else will.
  • You are not like everyone, your self-care looks different.
  • You don’t need to be with someone to be whole.
  • Your empathy is powerful, build it up.
  • You have a soft and gentle spirit, protect yourself, learn how to say no.
  • Your mind will tell you a lot of lies, declare your power and control over yourself.
  • People have their own trauma and will show it through their behavior, do not take it personal.
  • Self-awareness is scary but necessary.
  • Your mind is very very powerful, use it to create and influence change.
  • Your purpose is beyond what you can fathom, manifest it with all of your being.
  • Depression and anxiety will not defeat you.

It’s taken some time to learn these lessons, and probably would have been helpful growing up, but you know now and that’s what’s important. You know that your life is valuable although you may feel tortured sometimes. Keep that smile on your face because its beyond beautiful.

Despite the pain, the tears, and the loneliness, you have a job to do. Get up and keep going.

With love and power, SparklyWarTanks

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Other Publications, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk, Voices Of Mental Health

Voices of Mental Health Article: Building and Maintaining Personal Boundaries

“Personal boundaries are what separate us from giving too much of ourselves to things, people, and situations that do not serve our growth and progress. While it may appear ideal to be able to do everything and anything without limits, we cannot and should not exhaust ourselves of our personal needs. We are responsible for what we allow. Whether in relationships (familial or romantic), with friends, at work, or anywhere where we are interacting with others, practicing boundaries helps us to be in tune with ourselves and our values.”

Read full article here:

Building and Maintaining Personal Boundaries

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Therapy Takeaways: Reclaiming Self-Love Through Passion

A collage depiction of what self-love looks like inside of me, traveling through my veins.

Going Back to Therapy

For the last month and a half or so I’ve been seeing a therapist for the first time since that one semester in my senior year of college. Although it’s difficult to manage all the emotions that come up as I talk through all of “my stuff”, I’m continuing to come in contact with the parts of me that were previously tucked deeply away. The more I talk and navigate my experiences, the more I’m able to identify the parts of me that need healing.

In these few weeks I learned three big things about my personality, habits, and tendencies:

1. I’m a highly sensitive person and a hopeless romantic.

2. I have issues with feeling good enough and loving myself in the same intensity that I love others.

3. I’m a recovering perfectionist and still struggle with “doing” too much to feel seen. I try to “stay busy” in order to distract myself from feelings unlovable, worthless, and enough. I crave outside stimuli to try to fill a void inside.

The Creative Cure

As I’m learning about what it means to be me, the good and the bad, I found that creativity and writing are my most helpful tools for feeling better.

Because I’m aware of my perfectionism, I’m trying to reverse and redirect the energies I put in “doing”, “pleasing” and “overexerting” back into myself. As I practice what feeds my passion, I’m beginning to realize what love means for me. The more I see what love is for me, the more I can pour back into myself the void of practicing and feeling self-love.

Passion and Learning Self-love

Passion is the manifestation of self-love — It’s love in doing. Passion is one of the only feelings (along with ambition, for example) that can not be given to someone else. To feel passion is to come in contact with something in yourself that feeds your needs and fuels your purpose.

When I create, write, and tell my story I feel passion. Doing what I feel passion for allows me to access peace and satisfaction perfectionism never can.

As I move closer to reclaiming my self-love, allowing it to travel to all parts of me (including my perspective of myself), I will use writing and creativity to help heal me of my self-love wound.

Some Advice

Find your passion. Find what helps you feel good and accomplished. Learn about yourself and learn what love means to you. Feel and access the energy of love. Once you’ve found the peace that comes with love, you can practice love for yourself and with others.

Self-care with unbreakable self-love is powerful and can help you build a healthier you.


See this collage on my Mighty page.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Unpacking Your Emotions

Allow yourself to feel even when it gets uncomfortable. Experience your emotions. Understand what is happening and grow in self-awareness.

When experiencing uncomfortable emotions ask yourself questions:

  • What am I feeling?
  • Why am I feeling this?
  • Have I felt like this before?
  • Do I need some help processing this emotion?
  • Who can I ask for help?
  • Is creativity helpful? (Should I write this down? Maybe draw it out? Make a collage?
  • Is this emotion influencing my behavior? Is this behavior helpful or harmful?
  • What does self-care look like for me when I feel this emotion?
  • How can I increase my mindfulness when feeling this emotion?
  • What are my next steps?

**Question graphic! Sticker set will be available in my Etsy shop in late December.**

Experiencing certain emotions can be scary, but allowing yourself to feel shows you how best to support yourself or ask for support.

Feel and not dismiss, reject, or ignore how your body is reacting to your environment and experiences. You can learn so much about yourself by reflecting on what is happening.

Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to feel.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a Highly Sensitive Person

I’m the HSP

Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person. I’ve hated this about me just about my whole life. The emotions, the intensity, the sensitivities to loud sounds, really bright lights, and too much outside stimulation. I was the “you’re always crying” kid, the perfectionist, and the overthinker; I can overthink just about anything.

It took me till just now, 25 years old, to learn and accept my sensitivities. I feel things so deeply and wish I can turn it off sometimes. I wish I can have long days, hold 2 jobs, and socialize with a large group for hours, but I can’t. Not me.

My sensitivities get me into trouble sometimes. When im overstimulated, I isolate myself to sleep and to recharge…but sometimes I tend to do this in weird moments without a proper farewell to the ones around me.

I’m the Introvert

Hi again, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person AND I’m also an introvert. I can be on my own for hours crafting and creating things and that gives me so much joy. I’m also quiet, except around 4 people.

My sensitivities have given me some superpowers too, like empathy, even though it feels like a curse sometimes. I feel what others feel and wish I can take their pain away and mine too.

Battles that Come

A mixture of being an HSP, an introvert, and an empath comes with difficulties, though. I’m always in my head, worrying about something, which makes it difficult to think straight sometimes. Because of this, I battle symptoms of depression, a whole lot of anxiety, and panic attacks.

So, self-care is important for me. Drinking lots of tea, minding my breathing, and writing my thoughts out are my favorite go-to remedies.

So, what now?

Well, that was a lot to confess. For those parts of me that I’ve hated for so long, I accept them and welcome new methods of self-care that makes life less intense. I acknowledge my sensitivity and honor who I am. I no longer take it as a burden, but as a superpower, an intrinsic part of me. Im different and that’s okay.

*HSP Sensitivity sticker will be available mid to late December in my Etsy shop! Check Etsy.com/shop/MotivateBySWT

To my fellow HSP’s, it’s okay to be sensitive and have different needs. We deserve to be understood too. I know the struggle and feel for every one of you. Let’s prioritize and be gentle with ourselves. We’re important too.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

A Mighty Mindfulness Exercise: Pause

Ever wanted a moment to yourself? Ever wished you could push a “pause” button on life when you feel overwhelmed? I can relate!

I’ve recently learned a mindfulness technique that can help when you feel overcome by negative thinking. Instead of spiraling into a tough place mentally, pause. Mindfulness techniques such as this can help to build self-awareness as well as practice the art of acknowledging without spiraling.

Here are four steps you can take:

#1: Once you witness a negative thought entering your mind, pause. Say it out loud if necessary. Interrupt the thought.

#2: Acknowledge the thought. Notice why you’re thinking it.

#3: Take a deep breath.

#4: Witness the thought as just a thought and let it pass. Do not give in or allow it to shift your perspective.

The idea is to learn how to “pause” at the moment a negative thought is introduced and build mindfulness around self-care and self-awareness. Whether it’s saying “pause” out loud or manifesting a pause in our actions, the act of pausing teaches us to manage our thoughts in hopes of creating a more workable outlook on our lives and experiences.

What’s one thought you can pause today?


“Pause” is an activity/graphic I’ve created for The Mighty!

You can see the community engagement post here.

You can also find this graphic as a sticker in my shop!