Healing Letters of Reflection: [Topics- Codependency and Anxious Attachment]
I understand now. I understand what I was meant to learn. How I was in pain too. But, I was trying to make you love me, even though you didn’t want to. I’m sorry. You were in pain like me. The cycles of run and chase. I saw something I knew I could love, so I latched onto that feeling. I was wrong though. Because, I was in pain and needed to manage and take care of my heart first. I needed to love myself more and I didn’t. I wanted to love you because I saw myself in you. Maybe loving you would help me love myself? No. That’s not how that works. Being alone was scary. It was a step into an oblivion of nothingness. What am I to do with all this pain I feel into an unknown future? Can I do it? Wow, do I even believe in myself? Who am I? What do I even want? It’s the ideas, the potential, the feeling. It’s the fear of changing into a person I don’t know.
…Well I’m that person now. The person I was scared to become because, who is she? She can see. She gets it. She understands.
I understand now. That I was in pain. I was panicking. Trauma responses left and right. Trying to fix. Fixate. Control. Overexplain. Change someone else. I was the one who needed changing. But, that’s okay…because I understand now. So, thank you. You helped me to see, because everything was foggy back then. I hope everything is good with you. I hope you can understand, too.
So very excited to announce the NAMI-NYC Expressive Arts workshop event I will be hosting at the end of the month! This event will be via Zoom and on the NAMI-NYC website. You can find the link here and clicking the Expressive Arts Zoom link for July 31st, 2021.
If you have any questions or concerns feel free to send me an email. The time of the event is in Eastern Standard Time.
**I will share any updates or changes and keep everyone posted.
Here are some details for the event:
Beauty and Horizons
“Beauty and Horizons” is a creative and fun event focused on reflecting on ourselves, our beauty and who we see ourselves to be. Starting with an ice breaker, we will sketch an image and write about one accomplishment that we are most proud of. The main activity will then be to imagine and draw a sunset on the beach. Around the sunset we will list 10 reasons why we are beautiful. Lastly, we will close by sharing our works of art.
Paper, writing utensils (pen, pencil, markers, or crayons).
Each Mood Tracker is two parts with an added list of moods to aid in reflection and brainstorming. Part one of this mood tracker will prompt you to identify what mood you are feeling every day during the month. Once you’ve identified your mood you will fill in each apple, Candy piece, puzzel piece, raindrop, or balloon with the color that identifies the different moods you are feeling. Part two, then, is a three question reflection activity that will allow you to think through your experience.
Print these mood tracker in color or printer friendly version to help with perspective building, insight, self-awareness, and self-reflection!
I met peace today. I didn’t expect it to feel this way. An all encompassing power of surrender. A knowing. A feeling. Being. A state of awareness, of falling like a bird knowing the safety of freedom from the wings that will save me.
Trusting self. Knowing self. One with consciousness. No more asking questions of “who am I?” but only “I am”. Basking in a green vibrant meadow filled with an ocean of flowers. A kiss from passing wind. Sitting. One with my energy. Flowing. Existing. Awakening. Comfort and confidence in self. Moments gratitude.
Witnessing one of nature’s wonders. A waterfall of crystal clear bliss. A mountain of stern certainty. Mimicking the wonders of the moon and sun. Peace. Surrendering to right now. Present. Just as it suggest, a gift of divine intervention.
A greeting. A congradulations. A integration of self. Unconditional love of self. Integrating trauma, self-awareness and transformation. Alchemy. An equal give and take. Balance. Understanding pain.
The student. The teacher. Connection. Compassion. Love. Oneness with love. Love of self is love of others. Freedom and liberation. Silence of the mind. Being the crafter. Being the creator. Stroking the pen as I see fit to write my story.
Peace. It’s me. I am peace. Peace is inside of me.
A moment, I remember, where I felt empowered was when I decided to ask for help with my mental health instead of isolating myself and struggling on my own. At that moment I knew I was capable and willing to receive help without feeling shame or embarrassment.
Find this activity here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
“The hustle mentality for me is driven by a desire for financial freedom and emotional wellness. The flaws in my hustle mentality, however, are rooted in “destination addiction” constantly feeling as though satisfaction is achieved in something I don’t have yet. Because I’m always working for something greater and better than my last accomplishment, I also find myself lost in perfectionism.”
As a recovering perfectionist, I’m learning to overcome four obstacles: the importance of breaks and self-care, my worth and productivity, asking for help, and trying new things. As I move toward establishing a healthy version of myself, I’m slowly becoming aware of my needs and better ways to incorporate those needs when I take on projects or goals.
Affirmation: I don’t have to do things perfectly. My best is good enough.
Can you relate to being a perfectionist? How do you feel about being a perfectionist?
What affirmations can you practice to help when you find yourself wanting to achieve perfection?
What are some habits you can change or shift if you believe yourself to have unhelpful perfectionist tendencies?
“Ever since I can remember, I’ve struggled with perfectionism and negative self-talk. From the daily “I have to finish everything on my to-do list or else I’m unsuccessful today” to the weekly feeling of fear that I’m not puttinginenough effort toward my goals — this constant spiral of always having to do more is exhausting. And because perfectionism has me constantlyina “doing trance,” I haven’t felt accomplished or proud of any of my wonderful achievementsina long time.
However,inmy efforts to get rid of the dictator that is perfectionism, I recently crafted some stars to put on the walls of my bedroom. These stars mean more to me than just colorful construction paperinthe shape of an astronomical object.
Every day when I look at my stars, I am reminded that I’m successful and have achieved so much to get to this very moment.My success is not measured by how much I’ve done but simply by who I am and the strength I give each day.Simply waking up is enough reason to look up at my stars stamping that day as an achievement.
Here are 3 possible ways you could celebrate your own accomplishments:
– Share your achievements with a family member or friend and do a fun activity with them
– Write a list of the wins that make you proud, put it on your refrigerator and pass it often
– Take a mental health day where you reward yourself with all of your favorites, like a TV show or movie, a great read or a meal comprised of your fave snacks.
Takeaway: Your worth is so much more than what you do each day– it’s naturally ingrained in who you are. It can never be taken away.
Note: You can find the stickers on my stars here in my Etsy shop!