Love does not only mend and improve the bonds we have with each other but also liberates the relationship we have with ourselves. Creating pathways and pockets of grace to face the challenges of our childhood trauma, survival habits, triggers, and attachment to expectations.
When we open the door to love ourselves unconditionally we create bridges to enter parts of ourselves we are used to hiding away. We welcome wholeness and alignment. We accept every part of who we are. Love becomes the language that guides our inner dialogue and helps us to understand our next steps.
As we love ourselves unconditionally and unapologetically, we can love others the same. We interact and speak with others just as we would ourselves. Let love in. Let love create the way.
Image quote above will be made into a sticker for my Etsy shop at the end of the month!
I honor my body by taking breaks and prioritizing self care. I am gentle with myself and allow myself to feel and process what is happening around me. My needs are valid and I reflect on each moment as I see fit. I am beautiful and I accept every part of myself. I understand that I can’t control all that happens around me, but I can control my approach. I am the crafter and the creator. I love my body and I choose to put myself first.
Divine timing teaches us that the version of ourselves that we are now is not yet aligned with the potential, power, and magnitude of what we’ve been asking for and know is ours. At this time we must work on ourselves. Work on our growth, our doubt, our shadow, and our thoughts. It’s time to walk in abundance, gratitude, and clarity understanding that what we manifest we will receive. Claim what is ours with confidence.
That career that you want is yours, that relationship that you deserve with the person you love is yours, that house, that car, that wealth, that peace of mind, that healing, that health, that relief is yours! Listen to yourself, you know what is yours. You know what you need. Start doing the work. You can be the version of yourself that receives what you’re manifesting. Are you ready for it? Start to progress toward what is yours.
Stand firm and know that what you feel and experience is valid. There is no checklist or standard to what makes your story enough to cause pain, growth, or transformation. Wherever you are in your journey, whatever frustrations, confusions, turmoil, or changes influence how you are perceiving the events that happen to you is your call to make. There is no shame in feeling what you feel.
No need to compare yourself to anyone, downplay what you are feeling, or over-explain any part of your story. You are valid in whatever stage you are in. Receive the support or help that is necessary to get you where you need/want to go in your growth and healing.
It’s been a really rough 2020 already. It’s tried to knock you down, step on you, and declare your defeat. What 2020 doesn’t know is you already declared that no matter what, you will figure out how to bounce back EVERY SINGLE TIME. No matter how complicated or complex the struggle, nothing will overcome your resilience.
I know you’re hurting but I also know you learned so much through the pain you endured.
You learned that:
It’s okay to be sensitive.
It’s okay to cry and express emotions.
Learn early how to love and accept yourself.
You are different and that fact will catalyst your passion.
People will look out for themselves.
Put yourself first because no one else will.
You are not like everyone, your self-care looks different.
You don’t need to be with someone to be whole.
Your empathy is powerful, build it up.
You have a soft and gentle spirit, protect yourself, learn how to say no.
Your mind will tell you a lot of lies, declare your power and control over yourself.
People have their own trauma and will show it through their behavior, do not take it personal.
Self-awareness is scary but necessary.
Your mind is very very powerful, use it to create and influence change.
Your purpose is beyond what you can fathom, manifest it with all of your being.
Depression and anxiety will not defeat you.
It’s taken some time to learn these lessons, and probably would have been helpful growing up, but you know now and that’s what’s important. You know that your life is valuable although you may feel tortured sometimes. Keep that smile on your face because its beyond beautiful.
Despite the pain, the tears, and the loneliness, you have a job to do. Get up and keep going.
Experiencing a panic attack is exhausting, draining and can take days to recover from. While we sometimes do our best to prevent an escalation into a panic attack, they still can happen. How do we feel like ourselves again following a panic attack? What are some positive coping techniques we can use to improve our self-care?
Resting and Relaxing
Resting and relaxing helps rejuvenate lost energy after experiencing a panic attack. Taking time to recuperate allows us to clear our minds and take the necessary steps to recover.
Resting may look like:
Taking it easy.
Asking for help with chores or errands.
Taking a break from demanding responsibilities.
Prioritizing time alone or with trusted family and friends.
Giving ourselves permission to slow down assists our recovery process and opens our perspective to the best methods of self-care.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the skill and habit of focusing awareness on the present moment. The better we become at cultivating nonjudgmental awareness of our thoughts, feelings, environment, and experiences from moment to moment, the more we can learn about ourselves and our stressors. Mindfulness teaches us to notice, accept, and let go rather than dwell and latch onto past thoughts or future worries.
Mindful Daily Activities
Along with resting and relaxing, it’s also beneficial to practice mindfulness while doing everyday activities like eating, drinking, walking, etc. Becoming mindful while engaging in daily activities enables us to clear our minds only to focus on how we are interacting with our environments and ourselves during each moment.
Tip: To eliminate worry, center the senses in current activities rather than what can happen in the future or what happened in the past. Ask yourself what is happening in the here and now.
Mindful Meditation/Controlled Breathing: Sitting in quiet spaces practicing mindful meditation and controlled breathing are also useful coping mechanisms to calm the mind and body. Creating a rhythm of breaths, inhaling and exhaling for the count of five for example, while also clearing our minds of worry helps in recentering focus and control.
Reminder: Mindfulness reinforces our ability to gain control and restore our inner wellbeing.
Reminders and Positive Self-Talk
Accompanying mindfulness is reminders and positive self-talk to further empower our inner sense of security. Reminding ourselves that we are safe and in control helps us move past our fears and into a calmer state of mind.
Some self-soothing affirmations to try include:
I am safe.
I am in control.
I can ask for help if I need to.
I release my fears and worries.
I am powerful and in control of my decisions.
Note: Positive self-talk increases confidence and supports inner strength despite discouraging feelings of doubt and fear.
Identifying Triggers
Our triggers can hinder us from wanting to do the activities we love or want to try. Like mindfulness and positive self-talk, building self-awareness helps us learn more about ourselves and what overwhelms us. One way we can gain self-awareness is by asking important questions.
These questions can be:
What caused this panic attack?
What can I do to prevent possible future spirals and escalations?
What are my next steps?
How am I feeling right now?
Who can I go to for help?
What tools and resources are available to me?
Recognizing and identifying our limits as well as creating boundaries can help us take better care of our mental health. Understanding who we are and what triggers us is a necessary step to preventing future escalations of overwhelm.
Tip: Journaling/Writing can be a helpful tool when attempting to reflect and process what happens after experiencing a panic attack.
Communication
Once we’ve gained some energy and given ourselves time to rest and reflect, we can communicate with others we trust about our experience. This step can be taken during or after our reflection time as processing can look different for everyone.
Reminder: Remember to be gentle communicating experiences with others. Panic attacks do not make anyone a failure or stop any of us from enjoying life or taking risks.
Creativity
Utilizing creativity is not only engaging but can help in the reflection process following a panic attack. We can supplement how we communicate our experience with creative expression.
Asking important questions about an experience can be difficult but using creative prompts in poetry or art can catalyst that process.
Expressing ourselves creatively can be in the form of:
Poetry/Creative Writing
Painting
Digital Art
With creative prompts like:
If you can describe, craft, or create a physical description of the anxiety or feelings following a panic, what would it look like? Would it be a person, place, or thing? Does it have weaknesses and strengths? What is it’s vulnerable points?
Write a letter to the anxiety that leads you to feel overwhelmed. What would you say to it?
Imagine a tree with its roots. Imagine the tree is you. List everything that makes you strong and firm and put them at the roots of the tree. Now, list all of your accomplishments, talents, things that help you keep going and name them on the branches of the tree. As a reminder of all that you are and motivation to move forward, create your tree of life.
Along with using creativity to help process our experiences, we can also use creativity to distract and calm ourselves too. Learning a new craft is both rewarding and fun!
A new craft to try can be:
Sewing
Crocheting
Crafting jewelry
Making keychains
Designing and making stickers.
Sculpting
Next Steps
Now that we’ve learned some tools to bounce back from a panic attack, what techniques are most helpful for you? Self-care is different for all of us so what helps some might not help others and that’s okay! What’s important is feeling better.
Never forget that we are still capable, strong and worthy of whatever we set our minds to despite experiencing moments of panic.
The choice to be calm is a talent. Even with all that goes on in my head, and the worry that sometimes consumes my thoughts, I CHOOSE to be gentle, mindful, and calm.
With each day, I allow myself to reflect, take what I need, let go of what I don’t, and move on with grace.
I will not panic.
I will not worry.
I will not stress.
I will map out my next steps and take one moment at a time.
For 2020 and beyond I am prioritizing self-care and self-love that is defined by me and only me. With each week reflecting on various ways to reflect and process my feelings, this week is redefining my worth to MYSELF.
Having a past of people-pleasing is hard to realize and even harder to overcome. Not seeing myself as valuable or worthy of love has influenced a history of constant “doing” in order to prove myself to those around me.
This habit ends now.
So, I’m saying no to:
What is not for me.
What makes me uncomfortable.
What doesn’t serve my needs.
What I don’t have the energy for.
Being available to everyone.
Feeling unimportant.
Giving away all of my energy.
One-sided interactions.
Seeking validation.
“Fixing” other people’s problems.
And, I’m saying yes to:
What fills me with joy.
Solid boundaries.
Building lasting connections.
Healthy vulnerability.
Feeling good about myself.
Expressing my needs.
Allowing myself to be seen.
Reaching out to others.
Being happy.
Feeling peace.
Doing things for fun.
Smiling.
Being open to love.
Affirmation: I am open to loving myself unconditionally and unapologetically.
Allow yourself to feel even when it gets uncomfortable. Experience your emotions. Understand what is happening and grow in self-awareness.
When experiencing uncomfortable emotions ask yourself questions:
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Have I felt like this before?
Do I need some help processing this emotion?
Who can I ask for help?
Is creativity helpful? (Should I write this down? Maybe draw it out? Make a collage?
Is this emotion influencing my behavior? Is this behavior helpful or harmful?
What does self-care look like for me when I feel this emotion?
How can I increase my mindfulness when feeling this emotion?
What are my next steps?
**Question graphic! Sticker set will be available in my Etsy shop.**
Experiencing certain emotions can be scary, but allowing yourself to feel shows you how best to support yourself or ask for support.
Feel and not dismiss, reject, or ignore how your body is reacting to your environment and experiences. You can learn so much about yourself by reflecting on what is happening.
Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to feel.
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