I woke up pretty sad today. My thoughts are filled with doubts, fears, and hopelessness. What I am going to do this year, however, is allow myself to feel the tough stuff and process my emotions đź’ˇ.
My new year’s new habit will be to journal every day and help myself to heal and feel. No matter how low I get, I will allow myself time to get through the hard stuff without pushing it away.
Goal: Love me enough to find productive ways to process my thoughts and feelings.
What are some habits you’ll like to start in 2020?.
A collage depiction of what self-love looks like inside of me, traveling through my veins.
Going Back to Therapy
For the last month and a half or so I’ve been seeing a therapist for the first time since that one semester in my senior year of college. Although it’s difficult to manage all the emotions that come up as I talk through all of “my stuff”, I’m continuing to come in contact with the parts of me that were previously tucked deeply away. The more I talk and navigate my experiences, the more I’m able to identify the parts of me that need healing.
In these few weeks I learned three big things about my personality, habits, and tendencies:
1. I’m a highly sensitive person and a hopeless romantic.
2. I have issues with feeling good enough and loving myself in the same intensity that I love others.
3. I’m a recovering perfectionist and still struggle with “doing” too much to feel seen. I try to “stay busy” in order to distract myself from feelings unlovable, worthless, and enough. I crave outside stimuli to try to fill a void inside.
The Creative Cure
As I’m learning about what it means to be me, the good and the bad, I found that creativity and writing are my most helpful tools for feeling better.
Because I’m aware of my perfectionism, I’m trying to reverse and redirect the energies I put in “doing”, “pleasing” and “overexerting” back into myself. As I practice what feeds my passion, I’m beginning to realize what love means for me. The more I see what love is for me, the more I can pour back into myself the void of practicing and feeling self-love.
Passion and Learning Self-love
Passion is the manifestation of self-love — It’s love in doing. Passion is one of the only feelings (along with ambition, for example) that can not be given to someone else. To feel passion is to come in contact with something in yourself that feeds your needs and fuels your purpose.
When I create, write, and tell my story I feel passion. Doing what I feel passion for allows me to access peace and satisfaction perfectionism never can.
As I move closer to reclaiming my self-love, allowing it to travel to all parts of me (including my perspective of myself), I will use writing and creativity to help heal me of my self-love wound.
Some Advice
Find your passion. Find what helps you feel good and accomplished. Learn about yourself and learn what love means to you. Feel and access the energy of love. Once you’ve found the peace that comes with love, you can practice love for yourself and with others.
Self-care with unbreakable self-love is powerful and can help you build a healthier you.
Allow yourself to feel even when it gets uncomfortable. Experience your emotions. Understand what is happening and grow in self-awareness.
When experiencing uncomfortable emotions ask yourself questions:
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Have I felt like this before?
Do I need some help processing this emotion?
Who can I ask for help?
Is creativity helpful? (Should I write this down? Maybe draw it out? Make a collage?
Is this emotion influencing my behavior? Is this behavior helpful or harmful?
What does self-care look like for me when I feel this emotion?
How can I increase my mindfulness when feeling this emotion?
What are my next steps?
**Question graphic! Sticker set will be available in my Etsy shop.**
Experiencing certain emotions can be scary, but allowing yourself to feel shows you how best to support yourself or ask for support.
Feel and not dismiss, reject, or ignore how your body is reacting to your environment and experiences. You can learn so much about yourself by reflecting on what is happening.
Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to feel.
Ever wanted a moment to yourself? Ever wished you could push a “pause” button on life when you feel overwhelmed? I can relate!
I’ve recently learned a mindfulness technique that can help when you feel overcome by negative thinking. Instead of spiraling into a tough place mentally,pause. Mindfulness techniques such as this can help to build self-awareness as well as practice the art of acknowledging without spiraling.
Here are four steps you can take:
#1:Once you witness a negative thought entering your mind, pause. Say it out loud if necessary. Interrupt the thought.
#2:Acknowledge the thought. Notice why you’re thinking it.
#3:Take a deep breath.
#4:Witness the thought as just a thought and let it pass. Do not give in or allow it to shift your perspective.
The idea is to learn how to “pause” at the moment a negative thought is introduced and build mindfulness around self-care and self-awareness. Whether it’s saying “pause” out loud or manifesting a pause in our actions, the act of pausing teaches us to manage our thoughts in hopes of creating a more workable outlook on our lives and experiences.
What’s one thought you can pause today?
“Pause” is an activity/graphic I’ve created for The Mighty!
You see me express myself, I wear my emotional wounds for all to see. I’m building my self-awareness through my healing and it’s because I choose to write about my mental health.
“I write and talk about my mental health because I know what it’s like to feel alone, unwanted, worthless, hopeless, and unaccomplished. I know what it’s like to feel invisible, to worry to the point of a panic attack, and to feel trapped. I write and talk about my mental health because deep down I wish I can hug and show all those who suffer silently that they don’t have to suffer alone. I write to share and motivate others to keep going even if they feel they can’t.
I neglected my mental health and thought I wasn’t good enough or worthy of love and life unless I proved myself to be so. I didn’t understand my intrinsic worth or purpose and because of this lived in a constant state of depression and anxiety.
If you are reading this, know that you are more than. You are full of purpose, power, and worth and nothing and no one can strip you of this. No matter what those negative thoughts said, you are doing a great job and I’m proud of you.”
The proof of worthiness is self-acceptance. To be worthy is to accept all that is you unapologetically. There is no need to go above and beyond to convince anyone of your greatness. You are great and beautiful all on your own. Be yourself.
Accept all that is you. Become comfortable with your self-worth separate from others and how they treat you or how much work you finished.
SparklyWarTanks 