Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Other Publications, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Building a Brand: Creative Self-Care and Writing to Heal

This is my writing story. How it started…

Finding My Voice: SparklyWarTanks

I started blogging in 2015 following a class project in my senior year of college. Unaware of the impact writing will have on my mental health, I maintained a steady habit. When I felt anxious, depressed or even inspired and ready to take over the world, I wrote something. No matter the circumstance or situation, I continued to write. I called this new ignited excitement for writing SparklyWarTanks, a phrase that combines the ideas of being “pretty and ”together” with also being at ”war” and ”struggling.”

SparklyWarTanks became an extension of me⁠, who I wanted to become and the perspective I wished to build. My everyday writing changed and transformed into therapy writing; writing about pain, acceptance, identity, and struggle. I wrote to feel free, to challenge myself, and to improve my mental wellness. Writing gave me strength, peace, and my own voice.  

Finding My Voice: Asking Important Questions 

As SparklyWarTanks progressed during the first year, themes and patterns emerged in my writing style. I began to write mental health articles along with my motivational and creative content. Eager to build a more stable and workable sense of self, I felt refreshed when my imagination flooded with ideas. 

To keep the content flowing, I often asked myself important questions. Whether these questions were related to me directly, or for my target audience to grapple with (mostly young adults, especially women, figuring themselves out), my goal was to challenge notions of self-development and self-acceptance. I wanted to construct a progressive view of growth. 

Some of the questions were, but not limited to:

  • How do I feel?
  • How do I want/deserve to feel?
  • Who am I? 
  • Who am I becoming?
  • What do I want to achieve? 

Through writing, I began to create and mold myself while also advocating for a communal and collective sense of awareness for my readers. As a community, what do we need to do to improve how we see ourselves? I wanted to help others while also helping myself. I wanted my growth to help others grow as well.   

Continuing in the present…

Writing and Creative Expression: Creativity and Mental Health 

Progressing in my writing craft and finding who I want to be through my projects and perspective is nothing short of soul-satisfying.  Writing and creative expression not only helps me build a new perspective on growth, vulnerability, and self-awareness but also helps me manage my depressive and anxious symptoms as well. The more I write and ask myself important questions, the more I’m able to identify my t riggers and heal through them.

       

Different genres and approaches I experiment with in my writing include: 

  • Affirmations/Declarations
  • Motivational Quotes
  • Bulletins
  • Notes
  • Poetry 
  • Activities 
  • Challenges 

Topics such as self-talk, self-care, self-love, self-worth, power, reflection and potential guide my views and shift how I think, especially during the tough days.  I write to think through what I believe; I write to build and create my truth. Mental

health and self-development now connect with one another. How I want to feel includes taking care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Are you thinking of starting a writing habit?

Next Steps: You Can Write Too

Writing can be for all of us. Whether for fun, to vent, or to get your thoughts onto something and out of your head, writing can help! Writing can be whatever you make of it. If it’s to share or to keep to yourself, whatever you create is something to be proud of.

Consider these questions when starting to write:

  • Why am I writing?
  • What do I want to write about?
  • What do I want to say?
  • Who do I want to say it to?
  • What overall message do I want to portray?   

Need help? You can check out my SkillShare class to get started!

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Therapy Takeaways: Reclaiming Self-Love Through Passion

A collage depiction of what self-love looks like inside of me, traveling through my veins.

Going Back to Therapy

For the last month and a half or so I’ve been seeing a therapist for the first time since that one semester in my senior year of college. Although it’s difficult to manage all the emotions that come up as I talk through all of “my stuff”, I’m continuing to come in contact with the parts of me that were previously tucked deeply away. The more I talk and navigate my experiences, the more I’m able to identify the parts of me that need healing.

In these few weeks I learned three big things about my personality, habits, and tendencies:

1. I’m a highly sensitive person and a hopeless romantic.

2. I have issues with feeling good enough and loving myself in the same intensity that I love others.

3. I’m a recovering perfectionist and still struggle with “doing” too much to feel seen. I try to “stay busy” in order to distract myself from feelings unlovable, worthless, and enough. I crave outside stimuli to try to fill a void inside.

The Creative Cure

As I’m learning about what it means to be me, the good and the bad, I found that creativity and writing are my most helpful tools for feeling better.

Because I’m aware of my perfectionism, I’m trying to reverse and redirect the energies I put in “doing”, “pleasing” and “overexerting” back into myself. As I practice what feeds my passion, I’m beginning to realize what love means for me. The more I see what love is for me, the more I can pour back into myself the void of practicing and feeling self-love.

Passion and Learning Self-love

Passion is the manifestation of self-love — It’s love in doing. Passion is one of the only feelings (along with ambition, for example) that can not be given to someone else. To feel passion is to come in contact with something in yourself that feeds your needs and fuels your purpose.

When I create, write, and tell my story I feel passion. Doing what I feel passion for allows me to access peace and satisfaction perfectionism never can.

As I move closer to reclaiming my self-love, allowing it to travel to all parts of me (including my perspective of myself), I will use writing and creativity to help heal me of my self-love wound.

Some Advice

Find your passion. Find what helps you feel good and accomplished. Learn about yourself and learn what love means to you. Feel and access the energy of love. Once you’ve found the peace that comes with love, you can practice love for yourself and with others.

Self-care with unbreakable self-love is powerful and can help you build a healthier you.


See this collage on my Mighty page.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Notes, Other Accomplishments, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

Mighty Notes Series Note 37: #CheckInWithMe

July was an exciting month for me! Following becoming a community leader on The Mighty, I had the privilege of hosting my own #CheckInWithMe three-part Notes Series!

My series included an intro (which was sent out in the #CheckInWithMe Newsletter via email) as well as a post on my Mighty Page.

Below is a sneak peek of the three parts.

**You are always welcomed to join the conversation and write a note!


Part 1

Portion of intro

…Whether I’m on the go or sitting on my bed with a million thoughts, checking in with myself is the most productive way I’ve learned to stop, think and reflect. In doing so, I’m able to pinpoint how I’m feeling as well as possible reasons and next steps I can take to feel better. Writing is the main tool I use to make all of my thoughts more tangible — it allows me to vent and get everything out.

Starting can be the most difficult task when writing, but not to worry! I’m sharing some writing prompts above so you can #CheckInWithMe if you have a hard time checking in with yourself.

Here is a list of writing prompts you can use to kick-start your checking in process:

  1. This *insert event* made me feel…
  2. Today’s mental health goals are…
  3. These are the reasons why I’m proud of myself:…
  4. I’ve been thinking a lot about…
  5. I’m feeling *insert emotion* today…
  6. I want to…
  7. I hope…
  8. I love…
  9. I will…

Link to my Mighty Post for part 1 here.


Part 2 (Introducing Notes)

Portion of Intro

Aside from writing on The Mighty, I also enjoy creating small writing projects to stay focused on my goals. This helps me stay positive and keep track of my mental health. One habit I’ve picked up in my blogging/writing journey is to write a note, message or thought on my blog when I’m feeling down, curious, angry, anxious or accomplished. Keeping up with this habit has allowed me to build self-awareness and remain in touch with my inner thoughts while staying positive.

Whether it’s on a phone app, post-it note, dry-erase board or in a journal, today I challenge you to write a note too. It can be long or short, a simple thought or even a goal. The idea is to write down ideas and thoughts that motivate you to keep going. The note might even help you to write something more extensive in the future!

In your note you can write:

  • Affirmations
  • Declarations
  • An encouraging thought
  • Reminders to keep going
  • Lists of mental health goals and milestones

To get started you can ask yourself how you are feeling, what you want to accomplish, why you are having recurring thoughts about a specific subject, next steps to a goal, or encouraging words you would like to be reminded of.

Link to my Mighty post for part 2 here.


Part 3

**Mighty post and intro are the same.

Mighty post

Title: Keep Checking in With Yourself. Keep Writing Notes.

It’s okay to not feel okay today or any other day. Although some days are more difficult than others check in with yourself and write, be creative. Writing notes has saved me from feeling trapped and voiceless and can help you too. Write a note to remind yourself that you can get through whatever you are going through.

Thank you to everyone who shared and commented last week or this week. You are brave and amazing.

Remember that you are filled with purpose and worth. Your power is immense and you can achieve all that you believe you can. Your voice and story are important. There is only one of you and your voice is one of a kind.

Keep writing notes!

You can find this post on The Mighty here!


Writing notes has been a part of my Sparkly experience for about 2 years. I’m excited to share the impact of writing and how it can help you too!

The more I heal and become who I want to be, the more excited I am to share what helped me get where I am.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Why I Claim my Anxiety and Depression

Mental Illness and Religion

Depression

I struggled with depression for a lot of my teenage years unknowingly; falling into silent spells or isolation cycles were “normal” ways I would deal with how I felt. Because of this, depression remained regular. The pain was me.

When I thought about depression or sadness my mind would drift off to what my former pastors would suggest— praying, fasting, and going to church healed all wombs. I often heard, “mental illness was a weakness, ‘the devil’ is consuming your thoughts to keep you from what God has for you. The only way I could be better was to do what God wants me to do. If you’re continuously doing bad, then it’s your fault. You are not trying hard enough. Do not ever claim depression on your life. Don’t say that out loud! If you say it you are manifesting that demon on yourself.” Frightening, right?

Because of those words, I grew up scared of myself, my thoughts, and God punishing me. I felt relief in my good days but tormented on my bad. Maybe if I tried to be “as holy” as I could then maybe I would feel better. The day never came where just praying and fasting relieved my depressive thoughts though.

Here Comes Anxiety…

When first faced with crippling anxiety, I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and discouraged. I isolated myself and talked to no one about my struggles. It wasn’t real. I tried to push harder even when I felt exhausted. Self-care, mental health, or anxiety weren’t words or phrases I knew much about anyway. I just had to pray, right? My relationship with God is not strong enough. I kept pushing myself well past my physical and mental limits until I couldn’t anymore. The more I dismissed my symptoms and repressed my feelings, the more I felt powerless, hopeless, and weak.

Moving Forward

Writing Therapy

In order to feel better, I challenged myself to think deeper. What do I do to move forward? As I constantly struggled to find peace in my mental turmoil, I looked to my writing and voice for refuge.  The day I felt most empowered, most liberated, and most peace fell on one day, the day I uttered the words “I have depression and struggle with anxiety.”

While I long left the church because I wanted to find myself aside from religious indoctrination, I started writing, and the words I typed and wrote freed me from my thoughts. Thoughts became tangible. Words became ideas I could look at. I manipulated those words to something positive and uplifting. I began reflecting on and discussing what mental health meant for me, asking critical questions combining my pain with creativity. Excitement filled me again. 

Final Thoughts

My projects now bring me to life, they are my medicine. The words I utter, the words I write are my power. I am new, I feel refreshed. I wage war on my mental health struggles, expectations, and stereotypes that bind me and my progress (hence why my writing space/blog is SparklyWarTanks).

Even though I still struggle, I continue to write and think of new and creative ways to express myself. I’m currently planning and hosting events too! There is power in words, whether it’s saying them, writing them, or thinking them.

Claiming my anxiety and depression was not a downfall manifesting struggle and doom to my life, claiming anxiety and depression gave me the power that helped me to liberate my perspective, relieve my mind, and continue on in the progression of becoming myself.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Self-Care, Self-Talk

I’m a Teacher on Skillshare!

In the past month I’ve been working hard on my first Skillshare class on becoming a creative and expressive writer!

The link below will take you to my class! You can also access this class and my future classes on the tab at the top of this blog.

Link: The Power of “l”: Learn to Write your Life, Instantly Find your Voice, and Creatively Express your Mind Daily

Posted in Confessions, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Talk

I Came to Give Back Hope

I remember the time I was struck with insecurities about who I am.
How I couldn’t explain what I want to do, or who I want to be.
I remember being stuck…
Hesitating…
Putting myself down…
After I was done doing a bad job at explaining my interests, I then immediately thought, wow, that’s stupid. What you want is not a thing.
You won’t get anywhere with that. Who does that? You’ve done nothing for yourself to get the unimaginable dream you want to come true.
And as I began to crush my dreams next to tangible accomplishments of the ones around me, I began to shrink. Shrink so small that I couldn’t see myself anymore. I saw myself in the muck and oil of my current state. I began to grab my aching back and bruised arms, rub the pain from my wrist, and throw up blood from the anxiety and the depression.
Then I thought, a hope so big brings people bed ridden for dead back to life. A hope that opens closed eyes and ears. A hope of power that flows and pumps blood to my heart every time. The one time I feel a touch of happiness is when I create something.

While my suffering heart feels myself floating and dispersing into the sea of forgotten faces of capitalistic tendencies, I remember, my dreams is what brought me back to life after my soul left my body..and into an oblivion I went…drowning in fear and regret, I thought I was nothing, but my dreams made me feel something. While my body and soul unite again it’s because of my pencil and my pen.
I remember why my heart started to beat and the oxygen came back into my lungs.
I created something.
Thats what I do.
I write.
I dream.
I’m a motivator for life.
Living is my motto.

I remember I was struck with insecurities about who I am, then I thought one more time…I create to give back the life of those whos bodies have left their souls.

I came to give back hope

Posted in Notes, Potential and Worth, Power

SWT 100 Notes: Note 8


Note 8: Money seems to be the motivation for people being in specific situations or having certain jobs. Money seems to be the reason why people do things to others (good or bad), but since having been employed for around 2 months now, I noticed that money doesn’t motivate me. Deciding to be happy and stable emotionally, mentally, and physically is more important and if the job im doing isn’t doing that then its time to move on and do something thats better for me no matter how good I might be getting paid. After graduating I noticed that I never put myself first, I always put my studies over my own well being but that stops now and forever.  If I see that something isn’t helping me improve or aid in the growth of my positive self-image I need to move on. 

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes

She is Becoming 

She is becoming and no one can stop her progress. She is transforming, becoming something more than she ever imagined. Like the butterfly, she built her cocoon, but before anyone could realize how long shes been away, she broke out, starting from her mind, her old ways shedding like a snake’s scales, away and left like old news. She is becoming. She has made herself into something great. From the scars of her psyche, to the bruises pounding her heart, she made it. Althought she wanted to sit and enjoy the evergreens of complacency, she got up, and there she started her process…of becoming.