“Although my fear of the unknown masked as “what if” questions continue to greet me early in the morning, I can find refuge in knowing I can go to my self-care tools to fight back and be more mindful about the thoughts I encourage.”
Tag: depression
For Those Who Know What It’s Like Living with an “Invisible Illness”: Mighty Analogies
“One of the toughest challenges I face living with an invisible illness is explaining to others what it’s like to be in my head. From the long anxious nights fighting insomnia to struggling to find the motivation to get out of bed most mornings, one of the only ways I’m able to explain what it’s like to grapple with my persistent depression is by using analogies.
Analogies help me to be both creative and descriptive as I paint a mental image of my experiences. The most recent analogy I’ve used to explain my depression to my therapist is the most spot-on, especially since this year has been my toughest one yet.
My analogy goes a little like this: Living with persistent depressive disorder is like a series of dark tunnels in my mind. There are no lights at the end of any of these tunnels. Instead, the lights are in small pockets underneath street lamps surrounded by fireflies. These fireflies represent strength, reassurance, and growth. And although they aren’t everlasting, I can use what I’ve learned from them while I continue to crawl along in my dark tunnel.
I’m proud to know my toolbox is filled with everything I’ve learned in the light, but that doesn’t make my darkness end — I face that reality every day. But with that knowledge, I can keep going because I know I’ll soon reach another bright pocket.
Reminder:
If you ever find yourself in your own dark tunnel, it’s OK to rest and take a peek inside your self-care toolbox. You are not alone and the darkness doesn’t always last forever.”
Have you ever used an analogy to describe what it’s like living with an invisible illness? Join the conversation here on The Pencil Case.
This activity was featured in The Mighty #CheckInWithMe newsletter which you can subscribe to on the TheMighty.com or Mighty app.
Creative Self-Care- Crafts and Quotes on My Wall
You are light.
Even in the darkest moments you are strong enough, brave enough, and capable of feeling joy again. You are more. You are power. Remember all the times you were able to get back up. You did it once, you can do it again and again.
You exist on purpose.
The past 3 weeks have been difficult for my mental health, particularly for my depression. One of my favorite activities to do when I’m experiencing my symptoms is creating something I can see every day when I wake up.
Last night, I decided to get some card stock, scissors, a pen, and some images that reflect my vision of empowerment to write myself a message.
Every day I wake up, right next to my pillow, written by my own hand, I’m now reminded of my light, persistence, and resiliency even when my mind is telling me I’m none of these things.
As I trudge through the days exhausted and torn, I must constantly remember who I am and all I’ve accomplished simply by being me. My joy is accessible to me, it’s time I access it.
I love You.
Dear Nina,
Even with the struggle and layers that come with you, I love you.
Even with sickness and daily challenges, I love you.
Every morning, I love you.
When you lay your head to rest, I love you.
When you don’t have energy, I love you.
When you don’t feel accomplished, I love you.
When you doubt your worth, I love you.
When you can’t look at yourself in the mirror, I love you.
In your frustration, I love you.
When you think no one cares, I love you.
When you think no one will fully accept you, I love you.
When your mind is being mean and destructive, I love you.
When you think you are unworthy of love, I still love you.
Even when the thought of love is hard for you, I will always love you.
No matter what is stopping you from loving you, I AM the part of you that will always love you.
-SparklyWarTanks
Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a Highly Sensitive Person
I’m the HSP
Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person. I’ve hated this about me just about my whole life. The emotions, the intensity, the sensitivities to loud sounds, really bright lights, and too much outside stimulation. I was the “you’re always crying” kid, the perfectionist, and the overthinker; I can overthink just about anything.
It took me till just now, 25 years old, to learn and accept my sensitivities. I feel things so deeply and wish I can turn it off sometimes. I wish I can have long days, hold 2 jobs, and socialize with a large group for hours, but I can’t. Not me.
My sensitivities get me into trouble sometimes. When im overstimulated, I isolate myself to sleep and to recharge…but sometimes I tend to do this in weird moments without a proper farewell to the ones around me.
I’m the Introvert
Hi again, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person AND I’m also an introvert. I can be on my own for hours crafting and creating things and that gives me so much joy. I’m also quiet, except around 4 people.
My sensitivities have given me some superpowers too, like empathy, even though it feels like a curse sometimes. I feel what others feel and wish I can take their pain away and mine too.
Battles that Come
A mixture of being an HSP, an introvert, and an empath comes with difficulties, though. I’m always in my head, worrying about something, which makes it difficult to think straight sometimes. Because of this, I battle symptoms of depression, a whole lot of anxiety, and panic attacks.
So, self-care is important for me. Drinking lots of tea, minding my breathing, and writing my thoughts out are my favorite go-to remedies.
So, what now?
Well, that was a lot to confess. For those parts of me that I’ve hated for so long, I accept them and welcome new methods of self-care that makes life less intense. I acknowledge my sensitivity and honor who I am. I no longer take it as a burden, but as a superpower, an intrinsic part of me. Im different and that’s okay.
*HSP Sensitivity sticker will be available mid to late December in my Etsy shop! Check Etsy.com/shop/MotivateBySWT
To my fellow HSP’s, it’s okay to be sensitive and have different needs. We deserve to be understood too. I know the struggle and feel for every one of you. Let’s prioritize and be gentle with ourselves. We’re important too.
Defying Shadows Article: Why I Choose to Talk About my Mental Health
You see me express myself, I wear my emotional wounds for all to see. I’m building my self-awareness through my healing and it’s because I choose to write about my mental health.
“I write and talk about my mental health because I know what it’s like to feel alone, unwanted, worthless, hopeless, and unaccomplished. I know what it’s like to feel invisible, to worry to the point of a panic attack, and to feel trapped. I write and talk about my mental health because deep down I wish I can hug and show all those who suffer silently that they don’t have to suffer alone. I write to share and motivate others to keep going even if they feel they can’t.
I neglected my mental health and thought I wasn’t good enough or worthy of love and life unless I proved myself to be so. I didn’t understand my intrinsic worth or purpose and because of this lived in a constant state of depression and anxiety.
If you are reading this, know that you are more than. You are full of purpose, power, and worth and nothing and no one can strip you of this. No matter what those negative thoughts said, you are doing a great job and I’m proud of you.”
Link: Why I Choose to Talk About my Mental Health
A Writing Splurge: Let It Out Note 38
When I’m not doing well or if I can’t seem to silence my intrusive thoughts, I write. So, here is me writing right now:
I know you believe no one will want you. You fear being alone. You can’t imagine being loved or appreciated. You don’t see anything but rejection so you’ve given up.
I know you can’t sleep, so you go to bed at like 3. Some tears roll down your face but no one sees.
I know you’re trying to hide in isolation. That’s how you deal with things.
All this is silly, right? You’ll be fine. What you’re sad about is not important, it’ll happen…eventually.
Just focus on you.
Focus on you.
On you.
You.
Me.
Me.
Me and my.
Me and my feelings.
Me and my feelings are valid.
This is how I feel and it’s been spiraling for a while.
I don’t need anyone to want me. This is me, me and now.
I’ve been hurting a lot and keeping it to myself. When I open up, I feel as though what hurts me isn’t important enough.
To be lonely and isolated, to not feel hope, love, or purpose.
That right there is the wound that needs mending.
I must love myself to move past this pain that comes from way back when.
I am important.
I don’t need validation.
I embody my purpose.
I am powerful.
I am worthy.
Love flows freely in my life.
So I know.
I know.
I just needed a moment to let all this out…again.
I Am More Than
Pushing to a workable perspective means knowing who we are apart from the struggles we face; knowing we are much more than the hardship we experience.
As we progress, we must first declare what we are more than. Whether it’s that one negative thought, that mental health condition, the low self-esteem, or the chronic pain, WE ARE MORE.
We are multifaceted, talented, spectacular warriors that regardless of what we experience, we are still more than and we keep going.
This is what I am more than:
- I am more than those negative thoughts.
- I am more than depression.
- I am more than anxiety.
- I am more than low self-esteem.
- I am more than self-doubt.
- I am more than worrying.
- I am more than isolation.
Tell me what you are more than.
See it on The Mighty here.
#MightyThoughts: I See Myself In You
It’s 3:53 in the morning and I can’t help but realize that I see myself in you.
We may see something inadequate, or something broken. We notice all that is wrong yet have no idea how to feel like we’re worth something spectacular.
That’s the thing, we can’t see how worthy we are of life sometimes. We define who we are by what we’ve done or how bad we’ve screwed up something. Over and over we may come to a place where we can’t see the value we possess.
Here is a message I tell myself daily and would like you to know too: You are of value no matter what you are doing or what you’ve done. You wake up with purpose and will always have purpose. Adequacy, worth, value, peace, joy, calmness, balance, and wholeness is all that is you already. You just have to believe it to be true. Believe in your healing. Believe in your recovery. I love you guys.
Find it on The Mighty here
#CheckInWithMe Mighty Thought Note 35: Learning to Sooth My Inner Child as Someone With Depression
My Inner Child and Perfectionism
Growing up I was a perfectionist. And while I’m now able to regulate my impulses to go well past my emotional and mental limits, as a child my self-worth depended on overachieving to feel seen and heard. Whether it was a school assignment, cleaning my room, or comparing myself to everyone else, I found that my high expectations built an inner bully that still rests in the inner child inside me.
When situations happen or certain phrases are spoken to me that affect my inner child, a wave or impulse of pain passes through my chest and my heart drops to my feet. I could instantly remember a similar situation or feeling from one in my past. Examples of these are being ignored, feeling as though my voice isn’t being heard, being pushed to the side, feeling alone, not knowing who to talk to, or feeling less-than and not good enough.
Depression, Connection, and Growing in Self-Awareness
The more I grow in self-awareness, the more I’m able to connect and identify the situations, experiences, self-talk, and thoughts that hurt my inner child. Much of my depression, I now realize, rest on the pain and experiences of that hurt little girl. I’ve learned that the more in-tune I am with soothing my inner child, the closer I get to understand the best ways to take care of myself through depressive episodes.
The more I grow in self-awareness, the more I’m able to connect and identify the situations, experiences, self-talk, and thoughts that hurt my inner child. Much of my depression, I now realize, rest on the pain and experiences of that hurt little girl. I’ve learned that the more in-tune I am with soothing my inner child, the closer I get to understand the best ways to take care of myself through depressive episodes.
Connecting with my inner child is a bit painful, but it allows me to begin to let go and progress to a more workable and healthy relationship with myself. I want to love myself more in my recovery with depression. As I feel the pain resurface, I’m learning to let it go. I imagine speaking with my inner child while building trust and honesty with myself.
Soothing as a Process of Moving Forward
Workable self-talk and writing are two soothing tools I use when experiencing mental turmoil. Detaching my thoughts from my mind onto my phone or paper helps me to see what I’m going through using words. I’m able to soothe myself and create something positive as I switch negative thoughts into more positive ones.
The more I write, the more I can show my inner child that it’s okay to feel hurt. My worth is no longer connected to what I do but to who I am. In my journey of healing and recovery, I’m accepting all parts of myself without judgment. An increase in self-awareness is also an increase in self-love. Self-love means I will do what I can to be better and feel better.
Find it on The Mighty here
SparklyWarTanks 