Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a Highly Sensitive Person

I’m the HSP

Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person. I’ve hated this about me just about my whole life. The emotions, the intensity, the sensitivities to loud sounds, really bright lights, and too much outside stimulation. I was the “you’re always crying” kid, the perfectionist, and the overthinker; I can overthink just about anything.

It took me till just now, 25 years old, to learn and accept my sensitivities. I feel things so deeply and wish I can turn it off sometimes. I wish I can have long days, hold 2 jobs, and socialize with a large group for hours, but I can’t. Not me.

My sensitivities get me into trouble sometimes. When im overstimulated, I isolate myself to sleep and to recharge…but sometimes I tend to do this in weird moments without a proper farewell to the ones around me.

I’m the Introvert

Hi again, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person AND I’m also an introvert. I can be on my own for hours crafting and creating things and that gives me so much joy. I’m also quiet, except around 4 people.

My sensitivities have given me some superpowers too, like empathy, even though it feels like a curse sometimes. I feel what others feel and wish I can take their pain away and mine too.

Battles that Come

A mixture of being an HSP, an introvert, and an empath comes with difficulties, though. I’m always in my head, worrying about something, which makes it difficult to think straight sometimes. Because of this, I battle symptoms of depression, a whole lot of anxiety, and panic attacks.

So, self-care is important for me. Drinking lots of tea, minding my breathing, and writing my thoughts out are my favorite go-to remedies.

So, what now?

Well, that was a lot to confess. For those parts of me that I’ve hated for so long, I accept them and welcome new methods of self-care that makes life less intense. I acknowledge my sensitivity and honor who I am. I no longer take it as a burden, but as a superpower, an intrinsic part of me. Im different and that’s okay.

*HSP Sensitivity sticker will be available mid to late December in my Etsy shop! Check Etsy.com/shop/MotivateBySWT

To my fellow HSP’s, it’s okay to be sensitive and have different needs. We deserve to be understood too. I know the struggle and feel for every one of you. Let’s prioritize and be gentle with ourselves. We’re important too.

Posted in Confessions, Defying Shadows Articles, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Other Publications, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Defying Shadows Article: Why I Choose to Talk About my Mental Health

You see me express myself, I wear my emotional wounds for all to see. I’m building my self-awareness through my healing and it’s because I choose to write about my mental health.

“I write and talk about my mental health because I know what it’s like to feel alone, unwanted, worthless, hopeless, and unaccomplished. I know what it’s like to feel invisible, to worry to the point of a panic attack, and to feel trapped. I write and talk about my mental health because deep down I wish I can hug and show all those who suffer silently that they don’t have to suffer alone. I write to share and motivate others to keep going even if they feel they can’t.

I neglected my mental health and thought I wasn’t good enough or worthy of love and life unless I proved myself to be so. I didn’t understand my intrinsic worth or purpose and because of this lived in a constant state of depression and anxiety.

If you are reading this, know that you are more than. You are full of purpose, power, and worth and nothing and no one can strip you of this. No matter what those negative thoughts said, you are doing a great job and I’m proud of you.”

Link: Why I Choose to Talk About my Mental Health

Posted in Confessions, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Notes, Reflection, Self-Talk

A Writing Splurge: Let It Out Note 38

When I’m not doing well or if I can’t seem to silence my intrusive thoughts, I write. So, here is me writing right now:

I know you believe no one will want you. You fear being alone. You can’t imagine being loved or appreciated. You don’t see anything but rejection so you’ve given up.

I know you can’t sleep, so you go to bed at like 3. Some tears roll down your face but no one sees.

I know you’re trying to hide in isolation. That’s how you deal with things.

All this is silly, right? You’ll be fine. What you’re sad about is not important, it’ll happen…eventually.

Just focus on you.

Focus on you.

On you.

You.

Me.

Me.

Me and my.

Me and my feelings.

Me and my feelings are valid.

This is how I feel and it’s been spiraling for a while.

I don’t need anyone to want me. This is me, me and now.

I’ve been hurting a lot and keeping it to myself. When I open up, I feel as though what hurts me isn’t important enough.

To be lonely and isolated, to not feel hope, love, or purpose.

That right there is the wound that needs mending.

I must love myself to move past this pain that comes from way back when.

I am important.

I don’t need validation.

I embody my purpose.

I am powerful.

I am worthy.

Love flows freely in my life.

So I know.

I know.

I just needed a moment to let all this out…again.

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

I Am More Than

Pushing to a workable perspective means knowing who we are apart from the struggles we face; knowing we are much more than the hardship we experience.

As we progress, we must first declare what we are more than. Whether it’s that one negative thought, that mental health condition, the low self-esteem, or the chronic pain, WE ARE MORE.

We are multifaceted, talented, spectacular warriors that regardless of what we experience, we are still more than and we keep going.


This is what I am more than:

  • I am more than those negative thoughts.
  • I am more than depression.
  • I am more than anxiety.
  • I am more than low self-esteem.
  • I am more than self-doubt.
  • I am more than worrying.
  • I am more than isolation.

Tell me what you are more than.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#MightyThoughts: I See Myself In You

It’s 3:53 in the morning and I can’t help but realize that I see myself in you.
We may see something inadequate, or something broken. We notice all that is wrong yet have no idea how to feel like we’re worth something spectacular.
That’s the thing, we can’t see how worthy we are of life sometimes. We define who we are by what we’ve done or how bad we’ve screwed up something. Over and over we may come to a place where we can’t see the value we possess.

Here is a message I tell myself daily and would like you to know too: You are of value no matter what you are doing or what you’ve done. You wake up with purpose and will always have purpose. Adequacy, worth, value, peace, joy, calmness, balance, and wholeness is all that is you already. You just have to believe it to be true. Believe in your healing. Believe in your recovery. I love you guys.


Find it on The Mighty here

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Notes, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#CheckInWithMe Mighty Thought Note 35: Learning to Sooth My Inner Child as Someone With Depression

My Inner Child and Perfectionism
Growing up I was a perfectionist. And while I’m now able to regulate my impulses to go well past my emotional and mental limits, as a child my self-worth depended on overachieving to feel seen and heard. Whether it was a school assignment, cleaning my room, or comparing myself to everyone else, I found that my high expectations built an inner bully that still rests in the inner child inside me.

When situations happen or certain phrases are spoken to me that affect my inner child, a wave or impulse of pain passes through my chest and my heart drops to my feet. I could instantly remember a similar situation or feeling from one in my past. Examples of these are being ignored, feeling as though my voice isn’t being heard, being pushed to the side, feeling alone, not knowing who to talk to, or feeling less-than and not good enough.
Depression, Connection, and Growing in Self-Awareness
The more I grow in self-awareness, the more I’m able to connect and identify the situations, experiences, self-talk, and thoughts that hurt my inner child. Much of my depression, I now realize, rest on the pain and experiences of that hurt little girl. I’ve learned that the more in-tune I am with soothing my inner child, the closer I get to understand the best ways to take care of myself through depressive episodes.

Connecting with my inner child is a bit painful, but it allows me to begin to let go and progress to a more workable and healthy relationship with myself. I want to love myself more in my recovery with depression. As I feel the pain resurface, I’m learning to let it go. I imagine speaking with my inner child while building trust and honesty with myself.

Soothing as a Process of Moving Forward
Workable self-talk and writing are two soothing tools I use when experiencing mental turmoil. Detaching my thoughts from my mind onto my phone or paper helps me to see what I’m going through using words. I’m able to soothe myself and create something positive as I switch negative thoughts into more positive ones.

The more I write, the more I can show my inner child that it’s okay to feel hurt. My worth is no longer connected to what I do but to who I am. In my journey of healing and recovery, I’m accepting all parts of myself without judgment. An increase in self-awareness is also an increase in self-love. Self-love means I will do what I can to be better and feel better.


Find it on The Mighty here

Posted in Creative Writing, Defying Shadows Articles, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Other Publications, Potential and Worth, Power

Defying Shadows Article: Thank You For Helping Me Through My Depression

Here is a simple letter. This letter thanks the person who wakes up every morning barely wanting to, but does anyway. This letter is to the survivor, the warrior, and the one who keeps pushing through. This letter is for you...”

Link: Thank You For Helping Me Through My Depression: A Simple Letter

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Breaking From Trauma: Accepting Split Pockets of Peace

The Split Second

A week ago I sat at the edge of my bed and noticed a sensation I forgot I had the ability to feel. While coming to terms with the symptoms of my anxiety and basking in its reality for most of three years, I hadn’t felt a day that didn’t consist of nausea or worry. I haven’t felt nauseous for two weeks now. I recalled the sensations of calmness and suddenly didn’t understand what to think. Feeling okay felt strange and alien.

Being in a constant state of panic, worry, or fear became how I lived for years leaving calmness and peace strangers in a barren abyss. No thoughts resided in my head, my body felt rejuvenated from a full nights rest, and an overwhelming desire to get some work done filled me with energy. This is what it feels like to be okay, to be ready to take on the day. I didn’t think I could feel like this again.

Recollections

Although this year continuously has torn me to pieces, I didn’t realize the amount of effort I put into dragging myself out of countless depressive moments. Whether it was getting out of bed, not sleeping in, giving myself a bedtime and writing/career goals, eating more fruits and less bread and sugar, or even choosing to separate myself from thinking about situations I cannot control I became unconsciously active in my desire to feel better. Physical aches and pains have plagued this years list of what nows, but learning to not overthink is my new habit of choice.

Despite finding myself in really low moments and contrary to what I expected to become of me by this point, I recall several split moments of peace like the one mentioned above. Pockets of rainbows I would call them.

Accepting and Welcoming Peace

Confused by how I could possibly see or feel pockets of peace in arguably the worst year yet, it’s only fair to give myself some credit. Fear of leaving my trauma behind brought up some old feelings following the pockets of peace, allowing me to realize the comfort I sat in when it came to my anxiety and depression.

I’m used to feeling anxious and depressed. I don’t know what it is to not feel constantly overwhelmed with everything. Living and existing in a state of uneasy chaos is how I know to survive. I learned to live like this, who am I without it?

Witnessing and realizing that I’m able to feel better has caused both panic and peace disrupting the old state of chaotic homeostasis (if that makes any sense). I found myself having nightmares almost every night filled with both obvious and hidden messages. I’ve also recently become aware of my shadow and toxic characteristics, making me aware and awake when it comes to how I interact with others.

Now, because of all that’s happened, I’m able to gain control and pull myself to a more stabilized consciousness quicker than before. Both bizarre and contradicting as it seems, I’ve always thrived in a state of turmoil, it would only make sense for the key to my healing to lie in my darkest moments.

What Now?

Aware that I’m in another phase of transformation like in my college years, I’m open and accepting of something new to come. Despite the on and off nature of these pockets of peace, I know I’m able to gain control of my mental wellness more than believed before.

I’m both scared and excited to continue to take on the beast that is overcoming my trauma and will not give up knowing I can and will.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Dear Nina, Let It Go

Dear Nina,
You’ve been rejected.
You’ve been betrayed.
You’ve been replaced without notice.
You’ve been looked at as second best.
You’ve been abandoned.
You’ve been left behind.
You feel like you will never be a priority.
You feel like no one will love you.
You’ve never been anyone’s favorite.
You’ve been called weak and pushed to the sidelines.
You’ve been underestimated.
You weren’t taken seriously.
You’ve gotten blank stares.
You’ve tried to be perfect.
You’ve tried to make yourself favorable.
You’ve felt less-than.
You’ve felt unattractive and ugly.

But I’m here to rewrite the script for you.

No matter how you’ve shaped your self-worth or what thoughts you thought you got over but in dark times resurfaced, its time to let it go. You are all the things you’ve convinced yourself that you are not. You are beyond worthy of life, love, acceptance, peace and compassion.

Retake your life from the thoughts that hold you hostage. It doesn’t matter anymore. Live in today. Live in right now. Whatever pain you’ve gone through has made you into the beautiful, empathetic, caring, ruthless, ambitious, untouchable, unstoppable creation that is you. You are a progressed product of what has happened and all of that is now over. You lived in the pain and now you’ve learned. Stop picking at the wounds that are healing. Don’t make your wombs bleed again. Sometimes it feels like the same things are happening again, but guess what? Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned. Don’t fall back into the cycles that amplified your depressive or anxious thoughts. You have the power. You have all the power. I will keep telling you until you believe it for yourself.

Sincerely,
SparklyWarTanks
Posted in Defying Shadows Articles, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health

Defying Shadows Article: Venturing the Communication Barrier When it Comes to Helping Someone With Depression

Do you ever get stuck when trying to help someone with depression? Do you find that some things you say may hurt the person who is struggling with their mental health? What are phrases to avoid when communicating with someone with depression? What are some helpful gestures and phrases?

Visit my Defying Shadows article to see some tips and helpful insight when it comes to helping someone who struggles with depression!

Venturing the Communication Barrier When it Comes to Helping Someone With Depression