Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Free Write: The Perceptions of Mental Illness And My Fear of Abandonment

How’s everyone’s day been? For me I’ve been struggling.

I didn’t realize how hard this pandemic has affected me until I started to reconnect with others. Having perceptions of safety and holding to my boundaries made sense when I built a safe place alone, but it becomes real when something “triggers your inner untapped wound”, and for me its my fear of abandonment. The thought that no matter what, everyone will leave eventually or no matter how hard I try no one can reciprocate the love I feel for them especially when I love them…a lot. I tend to run away in embarrassment because “I love someone who can’t love me too”.

This in my nervous system manifest as PTSD, anxiety, and a slab of persistent depressive disorder.

I talk a lot about reflection and healing, but that’s because I know how it feels to experience a mental health condition. Healing my nervous system has been my biggest challenge so far in my life. If you know what it’s like to have a mental health condition, know that I see you, I feel you, and I love you. This journey doesn’t make you weak because it isn’t for the weak.

Just the idea that I can be perceived as “mentally ill” has kept me from exploring new relationships, but I don’t want that for myself. I deserve to be loved by others. I can be loved by others. I will be loved by others. I’ve healed a lot over the past two and half years, but THIS WOUND? It really HURTS.

In this new season of my life, I know I have to work on this pain specifically and I know it’s going to HURT A LOT. Pushing myself to open up fully, be transparent, and unapologetically love without fear will break me to build me back up.

I know I will make mistakes and some people won’t understand me, but that’s OK. I still want to spread unconditional love and kindness to others.

Thank you for reading. Continue to journey with me ❤️.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

I love You.

Dear Nina,
Even with the struggle and layers that come with you, I love you.
Even with sickness and daily challenges, I love you.
Every morning, I love you.
When you lay your head to rest, I love you.
When you don’t have energy, I love you.
When you don’t feel accomplished, I love you.
When you doubt your worth, I love you.
When you can’t look at yourself in the mirror, I love you.
In your frustration, I love you.
When you think no one cares, I love you.
When you think no one will fully accept you, I love you.
When your mind is being mean and destructive, I love you.
When you think you are unworthy of love, I still love you.
Even when the thought of love is hard for you, I will always love you.
No matter what is stopping you from loving you, I AM the part of you that will always love you.


Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Life Lessons: What I Wish I Knew as a Child that I Know Now

Dear Nina,

It’s been a really rough 2020 already. It’s tried to knock you down, step on you, and declare your defeat. What 2020 doesn’t know is you already declared that no matter what, you will figure out how to bounce back EVERY SINGLE TIME. No matter how complicated or complex the struggle, nothing will overcome your resilience.

I know you’re hurting but I also know you learned so much through the pain you endured.

You learned that:

  • It’s okay to be sensitive.
  • It’s okay to cry and express emotions.
  • Learn early how to love and accept yourself.
  • You are different and that fact will catalyst your passion.
  • People will look out for themselves.
  • Put yourself first because no one else will.
  • You are not like everyone, your self-care looks different.
  • You don’t need to be with someone to be whole.
  • Your empathy is powerful, build it up.
  • You have a soft and gentle spirit, protect yourself, learn how to say no.
  • Your mind will tell you a lot of lies, declare your power and control over yourself.
  • People have their own trauma and will show it through their behavior, do not take it personal.
  • Self-awareness is scary but necessary.
  • Your mind is very very powerful, use it to create and influence change.
  • Your purpose is beyond what you can fathom, manifest it with all of your being.
  • Depression and anxiety will not defeat you.

It’s taken some time to learn these lessons, and probably would have been helpful growing up, but you know now and that’s what’s important. You know that your life is valuable although you may feel tortured sometimes. Keep that smile on your face because its beyond beautiful.

Despite the pain, the tears, and the loneliness, you have a job to do. Get up and keep going.

With love and power, SparklyWarTanks

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Other Publications, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Building a Brand: Creative Self-Care and Writing to Heal

This is my writing story. How it started…

Finding My Voice: SparklyWarTanks

I started blogging in 2015 following a class project in my senior year of college. Unaware of the impact writing will have on my mental health, I maintained a steady habit. When I felt anxious, depressed or even inspired and ready to take over the world, I wrote something. No matter the circumstance or situation, I continued to write. I called this new ignited excitement for writing SparklyWarTanks, a phrase that combines the ideas of being “pretty and ”together” with also being at ”war” and ”struggling.”

SparklyWarTanks became an extension of me⁠, who I wanted to become and the perspective I wished to build. My everyday writing changed and transformed into therapy writing; writing about pain, acceptance, identity, and struggle. I wrote to feel free, to challenge myself, and to improve my mental wellness. Writing gave me strength, peace, and my own voice.  

Finding My Voice: Asking Important Questions 

As SparklyWarTanks progressed during the first year, themes and patterns emerged in my writing style. I began to write mental health articles along with my motivational and creative content. Eager to build a more stable and workable sense of self, I felt refreshed when my imagination flooded with ideas. 

To keep the content flowing, I often asked myself important questions. Whether these questions were related to me directly, or for my target audience to grapple with (mostly young adults, especially women, figuring themselves out), my goal was to challenge notions of self-development and self-acceptance. I wanted to construct a progressive view of growth. 

Some of the questions were, but not limited to:

  • How do I feel?
  • How do I want/deserve to feel?
  • Who am I? 
  • Who am I becoming?
  • What do I want to achieve? 

Through writing, I began to create and mold myself while also advocating for a communal and collective sense of awareness for my readers. As a community, what do we need to do to improve how we see ourselves? I wanted to help others while also helping myself. I wanted my growth to help others grow as well.   

Continuing in the present…

Writing and Creative Expression: Creativity and Mental Health 

Progressing in my writing craft and finding who I want to be through my projects and perspective is nothing short of soul-satisfying.  Writing and creative expression not only helps me build a new perspective on growth, vulnerability, and self-awareness but also helps me manage my depressive and anxious symptoms as well. The more I write and ask myself important questions, the more I’m able to identify my t riggers and heal through them.


Different genres and approaches I experiment with in my writing include: 

  • Affirmations/Declarations
  • Motivational Quotes
  • Bulletins
  • Notes
  • Poetry 
  • Activities 
  • Challenges 

Topics such as self-talk, self-care, self-love, self-worth, power, reflection and potential guide my views and shift how I think, especially during the tough days.  I write to think through what I believe; I write to build and create my truth. Mental

health and self-development now connect with one another. How I want to feel includes taking care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Are you thinking of starting a writing habit?

Next Steps: You Can Write Too

Writing can be for all of us. Whether for fun, to vent, or to get your thoughts onto something and out of your head, writing can help! Writing can be whatever you make of it. If it’s to share or to keep to yourself, whatever you create is something to be proud of.

Consider these questions when starting to write:

  • Why am I writing?
  • What do I want to write about?
  • What do I want to say?
  • Who do I want to say it to?
  • What overall message do I want to portray?   

Need help? You can check out my SkillShare class to get started!

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Notes, Potential and Worth, Self-Talk

SWT 100 Notes: Note 6



There are mornings when its easy to wake up, but then there are mornings when waking up is the most difficult struggle ever imagined. A change of mind and heart can help with this struggle. Allow yourself to be grateful and talk positively to yourself and about yourself. Change your own mind, strengthen yourself, and let love in when you wake up everyday. Don’t be consumed by the thoughts of a new day. Move slowly and clear your mind as you open your energy up for a new opportunity to change your life and someone else’s.