Posted in Bulletins, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Talk

Bulletin: Abundance

What we see for ourselves is limited to how we see ourselves. Can we see ourselves in a place, situation, circumstance that is more? Can we see ourselves as more? Let’s start thinking in terms of abundance and opportunity. Not everything is a loss or a failure. There is more out there. There are spaces you belong in, there are people who need to hear your story, there are opportunities that you fit but you can’t see yourself in. See yourself in abundance. Say “what’s next?” and not “that’s all I see myself doing.”

There is too much to be done for you not to see how big your purpose is. Branch out. You are needed. Your life plan might not be what is coming. Let go of what didn’t work and continue to progress. Keep on regardless of downfalls, setbacks, or failed attempts. That wasn’t for you. What is for you is waiting in the midst of learning and accepting abundance. Once you see how much is out there, you will not stop till you find what you’re excited doing. Abundance will teach you open-mindedness. Keep trying.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Dear Nina, Let It Go

Dear Nina,
You’ve been rejected.
You’ve been betrayed.
You’ve been replaced without notice.
You’ve been looked at as second best.
You’ve been abandoned.
You’ve been left behind.
You feel like you will never be a priority.
You feel like no one will love you.
You’ve never been anyone’s favorite.
You’ve been called weak and pushed to the sidelines.
You’ve been underestimated.
You weren’t taken seriously.
You’ve gotten blank stares.
You’ve tried to be perfect.
You’ve tried to make yourself favorable.
You’ve felt less-than.
You’ve felt unattractive and ugly.

But I’m here to rewrite the script for you.

No matter how you’ve shaped your self-worth or what thoughts you thought you got over but in dark times resurfaced, its time to let it go. You are all the things you’ve convinced yourself that you are not. You are beyond worthy of life, love, acceptance, peace and compassion.

Retake your life from the thoughts that hold you hostage. It doesn’t matter anymore. Live in today. Live in right now. Whatever pain you’ve gone through has made you into the beautiful, empathetic, caring, ruthless, ambitious, untouchable, unstoppable creation that is you. You are a progressed product of what has happened and all of that is now over. You lived in the pain and now you’ve learned. Stop picking at the wounds that are healing. Don’t make your wombs bleed again. Sometimes it feels like the same things are happening again, but guess what? Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned. Don’t fall back into the cycles that amplified your depressive or anxious thoughts. You have the power. You have all the power. I will keep telling you until you believe it for yourself.

Sincerely,
SparklyWarTanks
Posted in Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care

#Writeitdown Declarations to Live by and Internalize: Worth

Look at yourself and ask if what you put up with reflects how you want to be treated. Do you deserve better? How do you view your self-worth? In terms of relationships, self-development, job opportunities etc. how do you view yourself?

Know that you are worthy of love, acceptance, and peace. Remove yourself from any situation that jeopardizes or challenges your self-worth. Your happiness and well being will always be more important. Gracefully remove yourself from anything that makes you question who you are.

Be patient with your journey as you search and work to better situate yourself in spaces that reflect your growth.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Self-Mastery

Self-love is self-awareness. Look at yourself and reflect, ask yourself who you are. Become comfortable in the discomfort that comes with reflection.

There are parts of yourself that are toxic, there are parts that need improving, there are parts that are growing. Grow and realize what you need to do to become better.

In return, you will become more of yourself, you will feel more peace, you will be able to feel empathy and help others in their self-development process too.

Put work into yourself.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Why I Claim my Anxiety and Depression

Mental Illness and Religion

Depression

I struggled with depression for a lot of my teenage years unknowingly; falling into silent spells or isolation cycles were “normal” ways I would deal with how I felt. Because of this, depression remained regular. The pain was me.

When I thought about depression or sadness my mind would drift off to what my former pastors would suggest— praying, fasting, and going to church healed all wombs. I often heard, “mental illness was a weakness, ‘the devil’ is consuming your thoughts to keep you from what God has for you. The only way I could be better was to do what God wants me to do. If you’re continuously doing bad, then it’s your fault. You are not trying hard enough. Do not ever claim depression on your life. Don’t say that out loud! If you say it you are manifesting that demon on yourself.” Frightening, right?

Because of those words, I grew up scared of myself, my thoughts, and God punishing me. I felt relief in my good days but tormented on my bad. Maybe if I tried to be “as holy” as I could then maybe I would feel better. The day never came where just praying and fasting relieved my depressive thoughts though.

Here Comes Anxiety…

When first faced with crippling anxiety, I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and discouraged. I isolated myself and talked to no one about my struggles. It wasn’t real. I tried to push harder even when I felt exhausted. Self-care, mental health, or anxiety weren’t words or phrases I knew much about anyway. I just had to pray, right? My relationship with God is not strong enough. I kept pushing myself well past my physical and mental limits until I couldn’t anymore. The more I dismissed my symptoms and repressed my feelings, the more I felt powerless, hopeless, and weak.

Moving Forward

Writing Therapy

In order to feel better, I challenged myself to think deeper. What do I do to move forward? As I constantly struggled to find peace in my mental turmoil, I looked to my writing and voice for refuge.  The day I felt most empowered, most liberated, and most peace fell on one day, the day I uttered the words “I have depression and struggle with anxiety.”

While I long left the church because I wanted to find myself aside from religious indoctrination, I started writing, and the words I typed and wrote freed me from my thoughts. Thoughts became tangible. Words became ideas I could look at. I manipulated those words to something positive and uplifting. I began reflecting on and discussing what mental health meant for me, asking critical questions combining my pain with creativity. Excitement filled me again. 

Final Thoughts

My projects now bring me to life, they are my medicine. The words I utter, the words I write are my power. I am new, I feel refreshed. I wage war on my mental health struggles, expectations, and stereotypes that bind me and my progress (hence why my writing space/blog is SparklyWarTanks).

Even though I still struggle, I continue to write and think of new and creative ways to express myself. I’m currently planning and hosting events too! There is power in words, whether it’s saying them, writing them, or thinking them.

Claiming my anxiety and depression was not a downfall manifesting struggle and doom to my life, claiming anxiety and depression gave me the power that helped me to liberate my perspective, relieve my mind, and continue on in the progression of becoming myself.

Posted in Creative Writing, Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#MightyPoets: I Am and I Am Not

“I am” is the most powerful two words you can utter. The more you declare and affirm who you are, the more you will teach yourself kindness, empathy, love, power, and independence.

As we venture into the realm of declarative “I am” statements, know that we will do so with grace, forgiveness, an open mind, and strength.

We know who we are so, therefore, we know who we are not. We know that we are more and not less. Declare more while disowning the negative counterparts.

You are someone. You are someone with a journey. You are someone with a purpose. You are someone with a mind. You are someone with a voice.

So, tell me who you are.

Read this poem on The Mighty

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

What is this Pain Doing for You?

When something or someone is causing you pain ask yourself, is this pain teaching me anything or opening up my perspective to ensure and guarantee my growth? In times where toxicity is present but not always apparent, you must determine whether that pain is necessary or toxic.

In terms of building relationships whether romantic, familial, or platonic, the occurrence of issues or disagreement is inevitable. When disagreements turn into manipulation, unnecessary pain, purposeful lack of communication, immaturity, lack of accountability, or one posing as “the parent” if not one is where a line must be drawn.

Remaining in toxic relationships or spaces do not determine your worthiness as a person. Your worth is not manifested by how much pain you can endure as you remain in toxic situations. Loyalty should not be painful. There is no need to wait around and stunt your growth for someone/something else. While pain is a teacher and in specific situations teaches you to become better, in others will cause trauma.

Always put your well being first before anything. If you find you are not benefiting from a relationship, space, or situation, relieve yourself of that pain

Posted in Defying Shadows Articles, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Power, Reflection, Self-Care

Defying Shadows Article: Making Decisions as Someine with Anxiety and Depression

Making decisions with anxiety and depression can leave you in a weak and vulnerable state. Not being able to take every opportunity or apply for every job can be stressful as you may find yourself frustrated and less-than because of it.

I was faced with declining a job because I prioritized my mental health and here is what I have to say about it:

Making Decisions as Someone with Anxiety and Depression

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Notes, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Talk

SWT 100 Notes Note 31: Bravery to be Ambious

As time progresses and I’m learning to live better, taking care of my mental health and growing in my self-acceptance, I declare, confirm, and affirm that I will not allow anything to set me back. Although it’s been rough and I’ve been tired, I will continuously push myself to my potential. I’m able to be the advocate, writer, leader, influencer, and speaker I want to be.

Don’t allow anything or anyone to steal your motivation or stunt your ambitions to make the difference you know you can make. Push yourself to be better, to know better, and show others what progress looks like. Be the light for someone else.

Let’s do this!

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#MightyThoughts: Accomplishments are Powerful

Take it slow as you become more and more patient with your progress. Take one step at a time, giving yourself small tasks to be proud of.

With grace, you will find peace and power in those simple accomplishments. That, in itself, is a step forward in your goals.

Some days are more difficult than others, but that does not mean whatever you do get done is no less wonderful and brave.

Your accomplishments are what make you stronger and capable of doing more. The joy you feel because you accomplished something will make it easier the next time you find yourself in a stuck space.

You did it before, you can do it again.

Affirmation: I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to.