Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Reflection, Self-Talk

Cold

-459.6.

Attachment.
Abandonment.

Anger.
Anxiety.
Annoyed.
Attention.
Neglect.
Trauma.
Trigger.
Love.

Lust.
Broken.

Battle.
Pieces.

Pain.

Regret.
Relationship.

Frustration.
Confusion.
Casual.
Connection.
Care.
Come.
Enough.
Worthy.
Important.
Ignore.
Ignite.
On.

Off.
Leave.
Attachment.
Abandonment.
Neglect.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.
I give up.
I let go.
I don’t want you.
I don’t need you.
I come back to myself.
I’m first.
I’m all I have.
I’m all I need.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

A Series of Quotes: Recycling Pain Through Our Behavior

Growth and Transformation Through Awareness: Pain and Toxic Traits

We all have a way in which we think and act based on our beliefs and ideas. Sometimes, however, our judgment and growth are clouded by the pain and trauma we often recycle through our toxic habits and behaviors.

The tricky thing about pain is how deeply rooted it is. We don’t see our behavior as toxic or hurtful until it’s too late and we’ve already hurt someone we might care for.

In order to identify those toxic cycles, we must grow in self-awareness. The more self-aware we become, the more we are able to catch ourselves and understand why we act the way we do. Although some behaviors may appear harmless, like numbing our feelings and trying not to cope with our pain, if repressed for too long, will eventually appear in our behavior.

Projection occurs when we place how we treat ourselves onto the people we love or want to love. Often unconsciously our own self-abandonment is how we begin to treat those around us.

The first step in feeling our pain is to accept that we’ve hurt someone and forgive ourselves. If we hold onto the pain and regret, it will stay with us and lead how we treat those who enter our lives.

Once aware, begin the process of identifying in what ways we can improve and begin to love ourselves in that process. Although we can’t undo another person’s pain, we can improve and heal through our own. We must learn who we are and the pain that guided our past self.

The growth that self-awareness brings can resurface memories and thoughts that created the original pain, but that process will birth a transformed perspective.

We learn through experiences and wanting to do better. Without the urge to do better, the pain will validate itself and remain how we see ourselves.

Important note: This process can be difficult to do on our own but I found therapy, self-help books, meditation, writing, reflective exercises, support groups, and mental health resources to be a great help in beginning this process.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Life Lessons: What I Wish I Knew as a Child that I Know Now

Dear Nina,

It’s been a really rough 2020 already. It’s tried to knock you down, step on you, and declare your defeat. What 2020 doesn’t know is you already declared that no matter what, you will figure out how to bounce back EVERY SINGLE TIME. No matter how complicated or complex the struggle, nothing will overcome your resilience.

I know you’re hurting but I also know you learned so much through the pain you endured.

You learned that:

  • It’s okay to be sensitive.
  • It’s okay to cry and express emotions.
  • Learn early how to love and accept yourself.
  • You are different and that fact will catalyst your passion.
  • People will look out for themselves.
  • Put yourself first because no one else will.
  • You are not like everyone, your self-care looks different.
  • You don’t need to be with someone to be whole.
  • Your empathy is powerful, build it up.
  • You have a soft and gentle spirit, protect yourself, learn how to say no.
  • Your mind will tell you a lot of lies, declare your power and control over yourself.
  • People have their own trauma and will show it through their behavior, do not take it personal.
  • Self-awareness is scary but necessary.
  • Your mind is very very powerful, use it to create and influence change.
  • Your purpose is beyond what you can fathom, manifest it with all of your being.
  • Depression and anxiety will not defeat you.

It’s taken some time to learn these lessons, and probably would have been helpful growing up, but you know now and that’s what’s important. You know that your life is valuable although you may feel tortured sometimes. Keep that smile on your face because its beyond beautiful.

Despite the pain, the tears, and the loneliness, you have a job to do. Get up and keep going.

With love and power, SparklyWarTanks

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Introduction: 8-Day Reflection Card Series Day 1

For the next 8-days, I will be sharing prompts in my Reflection Card series. Each day will feature one card with a two-part fill-in statement of reflection: the first part being your name and second a reflection/confession.

Approaching the fill-ins are your choice. What you feel you need to reflect and come to terms with, you can place in the blanks. Whether you want to reflect on your mental health, past, present, or goals will guide your responses.


The first card is on struggles. What do you struggle with professionally, emotionally, personally, or spiritually? What do you want to improve?

Be open and honest with yourself about what you struggle with. Coming to terms with your struggles can be tough, but it can also open the door for self-awareness and moving forward.

Be gentle with yourself and your realizations.


My Reflection:

As an adult, coming to terms with my struggles is difficult. For this card, I will confess to struggling to let go and forgive others. Although for some, not being able to forgive or let go affects how they interact with others, for me, it’s the opposite, I blame myself. Ever heard the phrase “Hurt people, hurt people,” for me it’s “hurt people hurt/blame themselves.”

Next steps:

Moving forward in realizing I blame myself for the people that hurt me leaving it hard to forgive, I will work toward healing those wounds within myself. I will be content with not getting an apology and forgiving myself for carrying those burdens.

I will move forward with peace.

I will begin to let the pain go. Let it disappear. I will not carry this around anymore.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Dear Nina, Let It Go

Dear Nina,
You’ve been rejected.
You’ve been betrayed.
You’ve been replaced without notice.
You’ve been looked at as second best.
You’ve been abandoned.
You’ve been left behind.
You feel like you will never be a priority.
You feel like no one will love you.
You’ve never been anyone’s favorite.
You’ve been called weak and pushed to the sidelines.
You’ve been underestimated.
You weren’t taken seriously.
You’ve gotten blank stares.
You’ve tried to be perfect.
You’ve tried to make yourself favorable.
You’ve felt less-than.
You’ve felt unattractive and ugly.

But I’m here to rewrite the script for you.

No matter how you’ve shaped your self-worth or what thoughts you thought you got over but in dark times resurfaced, its time to let it go. You are all the things you’ve convinced yourself that you are not. You are beyond worthy of life, love, acceptance, peace and compassion.

Retake your life from the thoughts that hold you hostage. It doesn’t matter anymore. Live in today. Live in right now. Whatever pain you’ve gone through has made you into the beautiful, empathetic, caring, ruthless, ambitious, untouchable, unstoppable creation that is you. You are a progressed product of what has happened and all of that is now over. You lived in the pain and now you’ve learned. Stop picking at the wounds that are healing. Don’t make your wombs bleed again. Sometimes it feels like the same things are happening again, but guess what? Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned. Don’t fall back into the cycles that amplified your depressive or anxious thoughts. You have the power. You have all the power. I will keep telling you until you believe it for yourself.

Sincerely,
SparklyWarTanks
Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Purposeful Pain

Some morning are particularly hard, but this morning made it to top 5. I had to write myself out of a potential downward spiral into depression. I forced myself to see my self-worth and value even in the midst of heartache and self-doubt. A love letter of sorts to keep going even when feeling emotionally weak.

The face that I look at every morning is powerful and deserves peace of mind and joy amongst other things, but most important she deserves to know that her life is worth something.

As long as her heart beats, purpose flows through every vein all the time. Standing is hard, but I can’t stay down for too long.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk, Tips

Start With Yourself

In this context of healing, you are progressing, letting go, moving on, and allowing yourself rest from constant mental turmoil. What does that look like for you? What do you need to come to terms with to allow the healing process to surface and take its course?

Say whatever is bothering your peace of mind out loud. Speak in order to establish the pain. Do not remain in denial or give excuses. What is it that bothers you the most?

When you put together the pain you feel into words affirm and declare something different. Speak in terms of what, why, and how in order to establish contact with the pain and negative thoughts.

What now? What do you need in order to let go? How will you take a step forward from that point of pain?

Start with yourself. Turn pain into peace. Establish peace in pain.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

What is this Pain Doing for You?

When something or someone is causing you pain ask yourself, is this pain teaching me anything or opening up my perspective to ensure and guarantee my growth? In times where toxicity is present but not always apparent, you must determine whether that pain is necessary or toxic.

In terms of building relationships whether romantic, familial, or platonic, the occurrence of issues or disagreement is inevitable. When disagreements turn into manipulation, unnecessary pain, purposeful lack of communication, immaturity, lack of accountability, or one posing as “the parent” if not one is where a line must be drawn.

Remaining in toxic relationships or spaces do not determine your worthiness as a person. Your worth is not manifested by how much pain you can endure as you remain in toxic situations. Loyalty should not be painful. There is no need to wait around and stunt your growth for someone/something else. While pain is a teacher and in specific situations teaches you to become better, in others will cause trauma.

Always put your well being first before anything. If you find you are not benefiting from a relationship, space, or situation, relieve yourself of that pain

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#MightyThoughts: The Intensity of Depression

Not everyday will be easy, and not every moment will be peaceful, but what matters is the fight you put for yourself to continue on in spite of the struggle. Although life may put you in quicksand, remember to be still and let those sorrows pass you. You will then realize you were never sinking. Find peace of mind when you’re alone in a shaky place. Relax your chaos, then rest. You won the battle.