It’s 3:53 in the morning and I can’t help but realize that I see myself in you.
We may see something inadequate, or something broken. We notice all that is wrong yet have no idea how to feel like we’re worth something spectacular.
That’s the thing, we can’t see how worthy we are of life sometimes. We define who we are by what we’ve done or how bad we’ve screwed up something. Over and over we may come to a place where we can’t see the value we possess.
Here is a message I tell myself daily and would like you to know too: You are of value no matter what you are doing or what you’ve done. You wake up with purpose and will always have purpose. Adequacy, worth, value, peace, joy, calmness, balance, and wholeness is all that is you already. You just have to believe it to be true. Believe in your healing. Believe in your recovery. I love you guys.
Find it on The Mighty here
Remind yourself that you can create and navigate your career. Open your minds to different paths and approaches that all ultimately lead to your potential and interests. Don’t lock yourself in a cliche. Build who you want to become on the blocks of your opportunities.
Know that your potential is limitless once you understand the extent of what you can do with your interests. Research and open your mind to what you can do and the places you can go to utilize your strengths. You are your limit. Use your imagination. Create the position you want to be in. Be a boss. Be a leader.
In order to do what you want, to be in the position you want, you would have to find it or create it. Don’t be afraid to think outside your comfort zone and do what you think you can’t. Try different angles, attempt multiple approaches to your interests. You will get where you want to go. Believe in your work and experience.
Get to working!
I remember the time I was struck with insecurities about who I am.
How I couldn’t explain what I want to do, or who I want to be.
I remember being stuck…
Putting myself down…
After I was done doing a bad job at explaining my interests, I then immediately thought, wow, that’s stupid. What you want is not a thing.
You won’t get anywhere with that. Who does that? You’ve done nothing for yourself to get the unimaginable dream you want to come true.
And as I began to crush my dreams next to tangible accomplishments of the ones around me, I began to shrink. Shrink so small that I couldn’t see myself anymore. I saw myself in the muck and oil of my current state. I began to grab my aching back and bruised arms, rub the pain from my wrist, and throw up blood from the anxiety and the depression.
Then I thought, a hope so big brings people bed ridden for dead back to life. A hope that opens closed eyes and ears. A hope of power that flows and pumps blood to my heart every time. The one time I feel a touch of happiness is when I create something.
While my suffering heart feels myself floating and dispersing into the sea of forgotten faces of capitalistic tendencies, I remember, my dreams is what brought me back to life after my soul left my body..and into an oblivion I went…drowning in fear and regret, I thought I was nothing, but my dreams made me feel something. While my body and soul unite again it’s because of my pencil and my pen.
I remember why my heart started to beat and the oxygen came back into my lungs.
I created something.
Thats what I do.
I’m a motivator for life.
Living is my motto.
I remember I was struck with insecurities about who I am, then I thought one more time…I create to give back the life of those whos bodies have left their souls.
I came to give back hope
Its been a difficult year already. I’m writing to let out and release because otherwise I don’t know what else to do. I’m in a point in my life where I don’t know where to go or who to talk to. I don’t want to stay where I am but I’m stuck in a cross road and even more stuck mentally. I’m physically exhausted and mentally going partially insane (I feel like). My anxiety is telling me lies but still tears fall down my face because I am loved and people do care, right?
I feel my purpose is lost in a financial prison and my degree is just a burnt paper worth nothing. What do I do? Where do I go? Thoughts of worthlessness in creeping back in and it makes my chest hurt. Holding back cries and wanting to scream is where I am. I only wish things will get better. Hopefully they will.
I have to take care of myself thats one thing I have to keep in mind all the time. I learned a week ago that people only care about their money and their business so jobs are just temporary till you get something better suited for you. Fast food isn’t a healthy environment and I need to move on, but to what?
My procrastination is only a product of my fear, a deeply rooted fear. I’m scared of failure and I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared of change and I’m scared of stress. I’m scared of my anxiety and I’m scared of getting depressed. I just want to be okay for once, for an extended period of time. I’m tired. I’m tired of worrying all the time about everything.
Please life bring something good for me.
Note 11 is a bit lengthy but I feel its something that needs to be expressed and talked about. In the wake of current race wars, clashes of political views, and being on the brink of total chaos, brings up the issue of being uncomfortable with living and coexisting with people who are different in environments that are culturally diverse. Its time to realize that there is no need to hate or fear those who are different. Sit and learn from those who challenge or contradict your way of living. Although it will be uncomfortable, moments of clarity when opening up perspective only benefits you in the long run. Transformation and knowledge only comes when placed in circumstances that challenge your point of view. Hate is dangerous, infectious, and unnecessary. We all can learn from the experiences of one another and that learning process never ends. Just because there hasn’t been any studies or documentation of a persons experiences based on popular opinion doesn’t means its invalid or untrue. Sit and listen. There is so much we can learn from one another. There are things that happen that some don’t know about and things that need to be said that aren’t being talked about. There is always space to dialogue about the things that are going on respectfully without undermining or demeaning the lives of the people who are underrepresented (especially).
Money tends to replace the two things people really need which is why its the root of destruction and chaos. Wealth is in love and fulfillment and not in material valuables like money. Purpose is achieved through purpose in self.