Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk

8-Day Reflection Card Series Day 6

What makes you strong? What have you been working on, building up, becoming better at, good in, and achieving?

Everything you do and continue to do in the process of becoming more of yourself makes you strong. No matter how big or small, your progress is a sign of power and bravery.


Reflection:

My effort makes me strong.

Despite people not understanding me, questioning me, and looking at me different I keep going.

Despite being highly sensitive/an empath, getting easily overwhelmed, feeling tired often, having anxiety, battling depression, I keep trying.

Declaration: With everything I am and all that I see myself becoming, I will continue to put in constant effort.

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk

8-Day Reflection Card Series Day 5

What do you see yourself becoming? What is your overall vision? What does a constant state of healing or thriving look like for you?

To have goals means to see an outcome or idea come to life. Ideally, if you can craft what success would look like for you, how would you describe it? Create the image of what you want to accomplish then start becoming more and more of what that success is for you.


Reflection:

When I think of success, I think of who I want to be, and what I want to become. Being able to network, open up, and communicate with others is an important aspect of my vision of success. In order to get my creative vision flourishing, speaking with others and gaining different types of resources is important.

Success for me is also self-awareness. Self-awareness is my main tool for healing. The more I know me, the more I’m able to gain control and feel how I want to feel.

Goal/Affirmation: I am who my own purpose and I will work toward becoming successful in the ways that fit me.

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

8-Day Reflection Card Series Day 3

What is something you are working on in terms of feeling fulfilled?

One of the greatest feelings is knowing you are continuously working toward something. Whether professionally or personally, feeling and doing your best is important.

Now that we’ve reflected on struggles vs. things we’re good at that can help us cope, what do we want to work on? What are our next steps to getting to a place where we want to be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.?


Reflection

Working on finding worth and value in myself is my main goal for this year. Whether it’s being proud of myself or not taking it personally when things don’t work out the way I planned, I will still know that I have value and worth.

The more I see myself as worthy of success and peace, the easier it will be to realize my intrinsic value.

Affirmation: I am filled with value and worth. I accept and love myself.

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Introduction: 8-Day Reflection Card Series Day 1

For the next 8-days, I will be sharing prompts in my Reflection Card series. Each day will feature one card with a two-part fill-in statement of reflection: the first part being your name and second a reflection/confession.

Approaching the fill-ins are your choice. What you feel you need to reflect and come to terms with, you can place in the blanks. Whether you want to reflect on your mental health, past, present, or goals will guide your responses.


The first card is on struggles. What do you struggle with professionally, emotionally, personally, or spiritually? What do you want to improve?

Be open and honest with yourself about what you struggle with. Coming to terms with your struggles can be tough, but it can also open the door for self-awareness and moving forward.

Be gentle with yourself and your realizations.


My Reflection:

As an adult, coming to terms with my struggles is difficult. For this card, I will confess to struggling to let go and forgive others. Although for some, not being able to forgive or let go affects how they interact with others, for me, it’s the opposite, I blame myself. Ever heard the phrase “Hurt people, hurt people,” for me it’s “hurt people hurt/blame themselves.”

Next steps:

Moving forward in realizing I blame myself for the people that hurt me leaving it hard to forgive, I will work toward healing those wounds within myself. I will be content with not getting an apology and forgiving myself for carrying those burdens.

I will move forward with peace.

I will begin to let the pain go. Let it disappear. I will not carry this around anymore.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care

A Confession: Today I’m Taking Control

What I’m Letting Go of Right Now:

  1. Feeling like I’m not worthy of love/like no one will love me.
  2. Believing everyone will eventually abandon me.
  3. Expecting rejection.
  4. Fear of mistakes.
  5. Wanting to be perfect.
  6. Embarrassed by being myself and getting excited over things that interest me.

What I’m Welcoming in From Now On:

  1. I’m worthy and welcoming of love.
  2. I’m free to be myself unapologetically.
  3. Accepting that people will flow in and out of my life.
  4. Loving myself unconditionally.
  5. Embracing my flaws and welcoming improvement when necessary.
  6. Being gentle with myself and giving myself time to heal from ideas that have been ingrained in how I think.

With even the slightest belief that I am worthy of healing, I believe that I can overcome the deepest thoughts that I’ve learned to live with. I will become new in this discovery.

I am ready for this breakthrough.

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Notes, Potential and Worth, Power, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#CheckInWithMe Mighty Thought Note 35: Learning to Sooth My Inner Child as Someone With Depression

My Inner Child and Perfectionism
Growing up I was a perfectionist. And while I’m now able to regulate my impulses to go well past my emotional and mental limits, as a child my self-worth depended on overachieving to feel seen and heard. Whether it was a school assignment, cleaning my room, or comparing myself to everyone else, I found that my high expectations built an inner bully that still rests in the inner child inside me.

When situations happen or certain phrases are spoken to me that affect my inner child, a wave or impulse of pain passes through my chest and my heart drops to my feet. I could instantly remember a similar situation or feeling from one in my past. Examples of these are being ignored, feeling as though my voice isn’t being heard, being pushed to the side, feeling alone, not knowing who to talk to, or feeling less-than and not good enough.

Depression, Connection, and Growing in Self-Awareness
The more I grow in self-awareness, the more I’m able to connect and identify the situations, experiences, self-talk, and thoughts that hurt my inner child. Much of my depression, I now realize, rest on the pain and experiences of that hurt little girl. I’ve learned that the more in-tune I am with soothing my inner child, the closer I get to understand the best ways to take care of myself through depressive episodes.

Connecting with my inner child is a bit painful, but it allows me to begin to let go and progress to a more workable and healthy relationship with myself. I want to love myself more in my recovery with depression. As I feel the pain resurface, I’m learning to let it go. I imagine speaking with my inner child while building trust and honesty with myself.

Soothing as a Process of Moving Forward
Workable self-talk and writing are two soothing tools I use when experiencing mental turmoil. Detaching my thoughts from my mind onto my phone or paper helps me to see what I’m going through using words. I’m able to soothe myself and create something positive as I switch negative thoughts into more positive ones.

The more I write, the more I can show my inner child that it’s okay to feel hurt. My worth is no longer connected to what I do but to who I am. In my journey of healing and recovery, I’m accepting all parts of myself without judgment. An increase in self-awareness is also an increase in self-love. Self-love means I will do what I can to be better and feel better.


Find it on The Mighty here

Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Talk, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

Dear Nina, Let It Go

Dear Nina,
You’ve been rejected.
You’ve been betrayed.
You’ve been replaced without notice.
You’ve been looked at as second best.
You’ve been abandoned.
You’ve been left behind.
You feel like you will never be a priority.
You feel like no one will love you.
You’ve never been anyone’s favorite.
You’ve been called weak and pushed to the sidelines.
You’ve been underestimated.
You weren’t taken seriously.
You’ve gotten blank stares.
You’ve tried to be perfect.
You’ve tried to make yourself favorable.
You’ve felt less-than.
You’ve felt unattractive and ugly.

But I’m here to rewrite the script for you.

No matter how you’ve shaped your self-worth or what thoughts you thought you got over but in dark times resurfaced, its time to let it go. You are all the things you’ve convinced yourself that you are not. You are beyond worthy of life, love, acceptance, peace and compassion.

Retake your life from the thoughts that hold you hostage. It doesn’t matter anymore. Live in today. Live in right now. Whatever pain you’ve gone through has made you into the beautiful, empathetic, caring, ruthless, ambitious, untouchable, unstoppable creation that is you. You are a progressed product of what has happened and all of that is now over. You lived in the pain and now you’ve learned. Stop picking at the wounds that are healing. Don’t make your wombs bleed again. Sometimes it feels like the same things are happening again, but guess what? Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned. Don’t fall back into the cycles that amplified your depressive or anxious thoughts. You have the power. You have all the power. I will keep telling you until you believe it for yourself.

Sincerely,
SparklyWarTanks
Posted in Confessions, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Why I Claim my Anxiety and Depression

Mental Illness and Religion

Depression

I struggled with depression for a lot of my teenage years unknowingly; falling into silent spells or isolation cycles were “normal” ways I would deal with how I felt. Because of this, depression remained regular. The pain was me.

When I thought about depression or sadness my mind would drift off to what my former pastors would suggest— praying, fasting, and going to church healed all wombs. I often heard, “mental illness was a weakness, ‘the devil’ is consuming your thoughts to keep you from what God has for you. The only way I could be better was to do what God wants me to do. If you’re continuously doing bad, then it’s your fault. You are not trying hard enough. Do not ever claim depression on your life. Don’t say that out loud! If you say it you are manifesting that demon on yourself.” Frightening, right?

Because of those words, I grew up scared of myself, my thoughts, and God punishing me. I felt relief in my good days but tormented on my bad. Maybe if I tried to be “as holy” as I could then maybe I would feel better. The day never came where just praying and fasting relieved my depressive thoughts though.

Here Comes Anxiety…

When first faced with crippling anxiety, I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and discouraged. I isolated myself and talked to no one about my struggles. It wasn’t real. I tried to push harder even when I felt exhausted. Self-care, mental health, or anxiety weren’t words or phrases I knew much about anyway. I just had to pray, right? My relationship with God is not strong enough. I kept pushing myself well past my physical and mental limits until I couldn’t anymore. The more I dismissed my symptoms and repressed my feelings, the more I felt powerless, hopeless, and weak.

Moving Forward

Writing Therapy

In order to feel better, I challenged myself to think deeper. What do I do to move forward? As I constantly struggled to find peace in my mental turmoil, I looked to my writing and voice for refuge.  The day I felt most empowered, most liberated, and most peace fell on one day, the day I uttered the words “I have depression and struggle with anxiety.”

While I long left the church because I wanted to find myself aside from religious indoctrination, I started writing, and the words I typed and wrote freed me from my thoughts. Thoughts became tangible. Words became ideas I could look at. I manipulated those words to something positive and uplifting. I began reflecting on and discussing what mental health meant for me, asking critical questions combining my pain with creativity. Excitement filled me again. 

Final Thoughts

My projects now bring me to life, they are my medicine. The words I utter, the words I write are my power. I am new, I feel refreshed. I wage war on my mental health struggles, expectations, and stereotypes that bind me and my progress (hence why my writing space/blog is SparklyWarTanks).

Even though I still struggle, I continue to write and think of new and creative ways to express myself. I’m currently planning and hosting events too! There is power in words, whether it’s saying them, writing them, or thinking them.

Claiming my anxiety and depression was not a downfall manifesting struggle and doom to my life, claiming anxiety and depression gave me the power that helped me to liberate my perspective, relieve my mind, and continue on in the progression of becoming myself.

Posted in Defying Shadows Articles, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Other Publications, Self-Talk

Defying Shadows Article! The Silent Spells and Isolation Cycles of Depression

NEW WEBSITE ALERT!

I’m extremely excited about being a contributor writer for another website DefyingShadows.com!

Defying Shadows Logo

My first article published on Defying Shadows is focused on two consecutive symptoms of depression that are often frustrating to comprehend for those who experience depression as well as their loved ones.

If you experience these symptoms, communicating can help others understand how to best support you.

Check it out here!

The Silent Spells and Isolation Cycles of Depression

Posted in Challenges, Confessions, Creations, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, Potential and Worth, Power, Reflection, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Bulletin Challenge: What Do You See When You Look at Yourself?

When I look at myself, this is what I see. I see someone who is able, but troubled, someone who loves, who cares, a fighter, a creator, a writer, an empath. When I see myself, I see someone who is many things. I see someone who has the power to be someone. I see change. I see struggle. I see growth.

Look at yourself. What do you see?

Make sure to look at all parts of you. All the parts that make you someone.

Sometimes we look at ourselves and we don’t know what we see. We don’t know who we are.

Look at yourself and tell me what you see.

You are a beautiful multifaceted masterpiece. It’s not enough to look at our pain and let it define all of who we are. We have to break ourselves apart to get to every piece of jewel.

We have so much in us that we toss to the side. We must dig deep to find our drive and our will to continuously know who we are.

Let’s find our light together.

Heal with me.

Comment below what you see when you look at yourself. Focus on everything (not just the good or the bad, but remember to be gentle with yourself). And as we begin to see, we begin to reflect and to grow in our self-acceptance.

See it also on The Mighty!