“Note: You are not alone in your worries and anxiety about what life will look like post-lockdown; it’s okay to seek help, support, and community.”
Even with the struggle and layers that come with you, I love you.
Even with sickness and daily challenges, I love you.
Every morning, I love you.
When you lay your head to rest, I love you.
When you don’t have energy, I love you.
When you don’t feel accomplished, I love you.
When you doubt your worth, I love you.
When you can’t look at yourself in the mirror, I love you.
In your frustration, I love you.
When you think no one cares, I love you.
When you think no one will fully accept you, I love you.
When your mind is being mean and destructive, I love you.
When you think you are unworthy of love, I still love you.
Even when the thought of love is hard for you, I will always love you.
No matter what is stopping you from loving you, I AM the part of you that will always love you.
In times of uncertainty, shift your perspective from what you can’t control to what you can. Allow yourself to create a safe space within yourself when what’s outside isn’t serving your needs. There are things you can control and your actions and self-awareness are two of those things.
I’m the HSP
Hi, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person. I’ve hated this about me just about my whole life. The emotions, the intensity, the sensitivities to loud sounds, really bright lights, and too much outside stimulation. I was the “you’re always crying” kid, the perfectionist, and the overthinker; I can overthink just about anything.
It took me till just now, 25 years old, to learn and accept my sensitivities. I feel things so deeply and wish I can turn it off sometimes. I wish I can have long days, hold 2 jobs, and socialize with a large group for hours, but I can’t. Not me.
My sensitivities get me into trouble sometimes. When im overstimulated, I isolate myself to sleep and to recharge…but sometimes I tend to do this in weird moments without a proper farewell to the ones around me.
I’m the Introvert
Hi again, I’m Nina and I’m a highly sensitive person AND I’m also an introvert. I can be on my own for hours crafting and creating things and that gives me so much joy. I’m also quiet, except around 4 people.
My sensitivities have given me some superpowers too, like empathy, even though it feels like a curse sometimes. I feel what others feel and wish I can take their pain away and mine too.
Battles that Come
A mixture of being an HSP, an introvert, and an empath comes with difficulties, though. I’m always in my head, worrying about something, which makes it difficult to think straight sometimes. Because of this, I battle symptoms of depression, a whole lot of anxiety, and panic attacks.
So, self-care is important for me. Drinking lots of tea, minding my breathing, and writing my thoughts out are my favorite go-to remedies.
So, what now?
Well, that was a lot to confess. For those parts of me that I’ve hated for so long, I accept them and welcome new methods of self-care that makes life less intense. I acknowledge my sensitivity and honor who I am. I no longer take it as a burden, but as a superpower, an intrinsic part of me. Im different and that’s okay.
*HSP Sensitivity sticker will be available mid to late December in my Etsy shop! Check Etsy.com/shop/MotivateBySWT
To my fellow HSP’s, it’s okay to be sensitive and have different needs. We deserve to be understood too. I know the struggle and feel for every one of you. Let’s prioritize and be gentle with ourselves. We’re important too.
You see me express myself, I wear my emotional wounds for all to see. I’m building my self-awareness through my healing and it’s because I choose to write about my mental health.
“I write and talk about my mental health because I know what it’s like to feel alone, unwanted, worthless, hopeless, and unaccomplished. I know what it’s like to feel invisible, to worry to the point of a panic attack, and to feel trapped. I write and talk about my mental health because deep down I wish I can hug and show all those who suffer silently that they don’t have to suffer alone. I write to share and motivate others to keep going even if they feel they can’t.
I neglected my mental health and thought I wasn’t good enough or worthy of love and life unless I proved myself to be so. I didn’t understand my intrinsic worth or purpose and because of this lived in a constant state of depression and anxiety.
If you are reading this, know that you are more than. You are full of purpose, power, and worth and nothing and no one can strip you of this. No matter what those negative thoughts said, you are doing a great job and I’m proud of you.”
Pushing to a workable perspective means knowing who we are apart from the struggles we face; knowing we are much more than the hardship we experience.
As we progress, we must first declare what we are more than. Whether it’s that one negative thought, that mental health condition, the low self-esteem, or the chronic pain, WE ARE MORE.
We are multifaceted, talented, spectacular warriors that regardless of what we experience, we are still more than and we keep going.
This is what I am more than:
- I am more than those negative thoughts.
- I am more than depression.
- I am more than anxiety.
- I am more than low self-esteem.
- I am more than self-doubt.
- I am more than worrying.
- I am more than isolation.
Tell me what you are more than.
See it on The Mighty here.
It’s 3:53 in the morning and I can’t help but realize that I see myself in you.
We may see something inadequate, or something broken. We notice all that is wrong yet have no idea how to feel like we’re worth something spectacular.
That’s the thing, we can’t see how worthy we are of life sometimes. We define who we are by what we’ve done or how bad we’ve screwed up something. Over and over we may come to a place where we can’t see the value we possess.
Here is a message I tell myself daily and would like you to know too: You are of value no matter what you are doing or what you’ve done. You wake up with purpose and will always have purpose. Adequacy, worth, value, peace, joy, calmness, balance, and wholeness is all that is you already. You just have to believe it to be true. Believe in your healing. Believe in your recovery. I love you guys.
Find it on The Mighty here
Have you ever experienced burnout? Do you tend to overwork yourself without checking in on your self-care?
What are signs and signals to look out for that will show you that you are stressed and need to slow down?
Check out my Defying Shadows article Burnout, Stress, And Anxiety: Knowing How to Cope to learn how to deal with the symptoms of stress and burnout.
The Split Second
A week ago I sat at the edge of my bed and noticed a sensation I forgot I had the ability to feel. While coming to terms with the symptoms of my anxiety and basking in its reality for most of three years, I hadn’t felt a day that didn’t consist of nausea or worry. I haven’t felt nauseous for two weeks now. I recalled the sensations of calmness and suddenly didn’t understand what to think. Feeling okay felt strange and alien.
Being in a constant state of panic, worry, or fear became how I lived for years leaving calmness and peace strangers in a barren abyss. No thoughts resided in my head, my body felt rejuvenated from a full nights rest, and an overwhelming desire to get some work done filled me with energy. This is what it feels like to be okay, to be ready to take on the day. I didn’t think I could feel like this again.
Although this year continuously has torn me to pieces, I didn’t realize the amount of effort I put into dragging myself out of countless depressive moments. Whether it was getting out of bed, not sleeping in, giving myself a bedtime and writing/career goals, eating more fruits and less bread and sugar, or even choosing to separate myself from thinking about situations I cannot control I became unconsciously active in my desire to feel better. Physical aches and pains have plagued this years list of what nows, but learning to not overthink is my new habit of choice.
Despite finding myself in really low moments and contrary to what I expected to become of me by this point, I recall several split moments of peace like the one mentioned above. Pockets of rainbows I would call them.
Accepting and Welcoming Peace
Confused by how I could possibly see or feel pockets of peace in arguably the worst year yet, it’s only fair to give myself some credit. Fear of leaving my trauma behind brought up some old feelings following the pockets of peace, allowing me to realize the comfort I sat in when it came to my anxiety and depression.
I’m used to feeling anxious and depressed. I don’t know what it is to not feel constantly overwhelmed with everything. Living and existing in a state of uneasy chaos is how I know to survive. I learned to live like this, who am I without it?
Witnessing and realizing that I’m able to feel better has caused both panic and peace disrupting the old state of chaotic homeostasis (if that makes any sense). I found myself having nightmares almost every night filled with both obvious and hidden messages. I’ve also recently become aware of my shadow and toxic characteristics, making me aware and awake when it comes to how I interact with others.
Now, because of all that’s happened, I’m able to gain control and pull myself to a more stabilized consciousness quicker than before. Both bizarre and contradicting as it seems, I’ve always thrived in a state of turmoil, it would only make sense for the key to my healing to lie in my darkest moments.
Aware that I’m in another phase of transformation like in my college years, I’m open and accepting of something new to come. Despite the on and off nature of these pockets of peace, I know I’m able to gain control of my mental wellness more than believed before.
I’m both scared and excited to continue to take on the beast that is overcoming my trauma and will not give up knowing I can and will.
What did I learn after I neglected my mental health? What does neglecting my mental health look like? Why is prioritizing your mental health important? How can you improve your mental health?
In my Defying Shadows article, I navigate and discuss my difficult moments with my mental health, how I learned about what mental health is, and why it’s so important.