Hi my name is Nina and I’m highly sensitive. Yes, I’ve said this before and yes, it’s something I’m learning to love about myself. Plagued with hearing the phrases like I’m “too sensitive” or “too deep” penetrates my psyche leaving me feeling invalidated and strange.
Yes, I notice things, very subtle things. I notice patterns and changes; I notice character traits and inconsistencies; I notice my feelings from an overwhelming amount of notices. In an attempt to create stricter boundaries for myself honoring my needs and concerns, I express thoughts on these notices. It’s been a tough road as I’ve grown frustrated with how much I feel and all that I notice.
Ultimately, I simply want to be able to express myself without being “too much.” I’m not too much. This is me in my high sensitivity.
“Overthinking does not have to prohibit you from achieving your goals or taking care of your responsibilities. It’s okay to have concerns and want to think thoroughly through everyday challenges, but instead of overthinking take action while also prioritizing your mental health.”
Sometimes it’s hard to remember the thoughts we try to forget about. That one childhood memory that brings everything back or even the ones that happened just last year. And even though we thought it was behind us, in a split second it’s staring us in the face. The feelings flood back and so does the pain, frustration, and confusion, too. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid the memory and pretend it’s not real, to repress it, of course, so we don’t have to feel.
But, as hard as it is to relive those painful memories, the ones we avoid with every part of us, they resurface.
Those memories are telling us to feel them. Without feeling them and processing how they shaped us, we hold that pain within our bodies. We often see those memories wanting to come out; in our dreams, our behavior, through our fears. To process pain and memories is to honor and love ourselves. We are not meant to hold baggage and to suffer unnecessarily. We do not live to suffer, although it seems this way.
Process the memories and express how they made you feel. What did you learn from that memory? How do you see yourself moving on from it?
Empowerment is the constant processing of pain, thoughts, and perspectives into ambition, potential, action, and advocacy. Our stories are what empowers us.
One of the many exiting additions for my group, The Pencil Case, on The Mighty, is Pencil Case Prompts.
The goal of these prompts will be to to think, reflect, contemplate and share.
I will be sharing these prompts here on SparklyWarTanks with a link to the post on The Mighty!
Note: Pencil Case prompts are journaling prompts you can use for personal journaling or to answer in the comments for The Pencil Case Prompts posts. The prompt will always have two follow up question: What and Why to help us turn our thinking caps on!
One thing that helps me to keep going is to remember random moments where I felt good. Some of those moments are moments where I accomplished/achieveved something and felt proud of myself or recalling my talents and things only I can do the way I do it.
What is an accomplishment, achievement or talent you are proud of?
- What is the accomplishment, achievement, or talent?
- Why is it important to you?
Note: There is nothing too big or too small to mention as an accomplishment, achievement, or talent.
I know I mention this ALL THE TIME but I’m so proud of myself for 1. starting my brand and 2. expanding my brand to Motivation by SparklyWarTanks.
There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I would be anything or do anything worth mentioning. Being able to continuously work on something helps me in my darkest loneliest moments to remind myself that I CAN do what I SAY I can do.
Join this prompt’s conversation on The Mighty here.
**Note: Voices of Mental Health is now called Everyday Mental Wellness.
“By utilizing active meditation techniques, it’s possible to not only incorporate meditation during our everyday schedule but also increase awareness and become mindful of our present self. By understanding our body and needs, we are able to appreciate the power of having and making choices on a moment by moment basis. Having choices reminds us of who we are and what we are capable of.”
Reminder: Check out my certifications tab to see all I learned and the link to the mindfulness course I took!
This image is a #Repost from Facebook.
So this post appeared on my Facebook feed and allowed me to reflect on the previous conversations I’ve had with my therapist. Conversations centered around relationship-building, relationship maintenance, and relationship termination. Relationship in this sense is defined by any bond I make with who I’ve come to encounter.
Relationships (whether platonic or romantic) are complex and whether we choose to remain in such interactions with others is what we have control over. We have control over who we surround ourselves with.
Still, while in my current frustrations, I’ve realized my habit of “holding space” although torn between whether im valued or thus appreciated in such bonds. When do I draw a line between moving past and holding space? In what ways can I hold space while also ensuring my needs are met and I feel the relationship is benefiting both parties?
Holding space is a form of love and acceptance. And while this year, in particular, has shown me my own strength in my “space holding” capacities, I do value this part of me. I hold space because I love my friends, family (actual, internet, from school or in other instances) and I choose to make room for them. Make room in how I love and support those who’ve shown me vulnerable parts of them.
And yes. Making space isn’t easy as everyone is different and I can’t control others’ “space holding” capacities, only my own. To become frustrated and rash is how I’ve come to include my own needs and put myself in the equation too. Holding space doesn’t mean I won’t get frustrated, triggered, or annoyed. Neither does it mean I’ll abandon myself in pursuit of others’ needs, but I still will make space as well as hold space.
To the people that I love and cherish, there is always space for you. I love you and will always have space in my love for you. If we’ve fallen out or hurt one another in some ways I still have space and I’m rooting for you wherever you are. If we’ve just got to meet one another and getting to know the complexities of one another’s character, my space is here and isn’t going anywhere. And as I hold space for others, my only desire is that others will also hold a space for me.
Busyness is how some of us distract ourselves from our thoughts and trauma. With so much to do, there is often no time to stop, reflect, and build a relationship with ourselves. In times of isolation, however, it’s more difficult to combat and dismiss the impulse of intrusive thoughts. This may even be the first time some are alone with their thoughts and can’t immediately turn to “doing” to deflect negative patterns of thinking.
What do we do when experiencing an overwhelming spiral of intrusive thoughts?
- Acknowledge the thought. Ask yourself, Is this thought familiar?
- Identify the feelings the thought brings up. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this?
- Turn to a productive perspective to address spiraling. Is this thought true or intrusive?
- Reassure yourself that you are doing the best you can and practice self-compassion. What is triggering this thought and what can I do to help myself reframe/dismiss this thought.
- Write down what you are thinking or feeling. How intense is what I’m experiencing?
- Ask for help or talk to someone you trust to get a different perspective.
Building a sense of self-awareness takes time and patience. There may even be parts of ourselves we may encounter for the first time and that’s okay. We are all multifaceted. Building a relationship with who we are is important.
This may be the first time we find ourselves actually reflecting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t grow and learn to love all parts of ourselves.
What is something you are working on in terms of feeling fulfilled?
One of the greatest feelings is knowing you are continuously working toward something. Whether professionally or personally, feeling and doing your best is important.
Now that we’ve reflected on struggles vs. things we’re good at that can help us cope, what do we want to work on? What are our next steps to getting to a place where we want to be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.?
Working on finding worth and value in myself is my main goal for this year. Whether it’s being proud of myself or not taking it personally when things don’t work out the way I planned, I will still know that I have value and worth.
The more I see myself as worthy of success and peace, the easier it will be to realize my intrinsic value.
Affirmation: I am filled with value and worth. I accept and love myself.