What you see for yourself, what you say to yourself, and what you speak out loud is what will come to existence. While noticing and accepting the power of manifestation, you are able to see the life, body, and mental stability you are exuding. The more negativity and doubt you spew into manifestation the likelihood of it happening will increase. Practice patience and understanding in order to receive and reap the benefits of your desires and wants.
Success is a state of mind in manifestation. You are already successful. Desiring more than your current state is only a matter of persistence and work. What you say you can do, you are already doing. You are working toward a goal, an anticipated manifestation.
Become more of what you want without the doubts that come with obstacles. The path that is created based on the work you are putting in, is what is being manifested to you. Sometimes it may not look exactly how you planned, but it is exactly what you need.
In the first week of May, I visited my closest friend Tati in Syracuse. When I’m with Tati we go on adventures and I have the opportunity to try new daring things I would otherwise pass up. This May I went jogging in six feet of water for the first time. I didn’t know what water jogging was or that it meant going to the deepest part of the pool until we arrived at the YMCA.
Excited to do something different, I tagged along thinking I would be in a pool that was at least four feet because all of my experience with pools consisted of small blow-up kiddie pools. I got this, right? Not at all. At least not at first.
When I walked down the pool steps into the chlorine filled abyss of horror, the water made my legs wobbly but my flotation belt (which helps with the water jogging) helped me stand straight. Instant fear struck and I became paralyzed. I never felt this type of fear before. Tati looked at me concerned because she didn’t know this was my first time in an adult pool. After learning how I afraid I was, she quickly grabbed a small kickboard to help me float. I watched as two young girls, unafraid, swam with confidence and joy. I wish I had the confidence of a child. I felt terrified at first, but after a few moments of Tati explaining to me of my safety I floated to the edge of the pool and began to float along to the deep side. Five feet…then six feet. She explained to me that our bodies will always float but I have to take control of my movements. I used my strength to maneuver my body and muscles into more comfortable positions which meant focusing while I was floating. “When you panic your body tenses and you lose that control,” she said. Water jogging is harder then it looks. It helped to straighten my legs in order to trust that my control of myself will keep me afloat. The more she talked to me the more I began to understand my fear and was able to control my body. I needed to trust the water and trust myself. I WILL ALWAYS FLOAT. As my lesson continued and with Tati’s voice to guide me, I finally got the right rhythm to water jog. My first time in an adult pool and I learned so much!
Water, Anxiety, and Control
How does this relate to my anxiety? An uncontrolled situation fuels my anxiety. My mind escalates situations even before I can decide in what ways I have control and what ways I don’t. The water became my uncontrolled variable. While in the water, I found myself panicking because the water resistance did not allow me to comfortably stand straight or control my immediate movements. In order to stay upright, I needed to focus.
I learned to stay calm and remember I will always float and control what I do. Fighting back the water resistance allowed me to use my abilities and strength to build focus and confidence. Control in water means I’m able to move my body, stay straight, move my arms in ways that helped my head stay above the water. I controlled myself even though there wasn’t immediate support around me. Just me and the water. The moment I felt overwhelmed my body would float in a plank position until I straightened myself and rid my mind of my own anxiety.
I have control because at that moment I realized I’m always in control one way or another. I will always float and I will be okay. Focusing allows my mind to become relaxed. As I trust my element, my situation, and circumstance I will be in control of confidence and calmness. Six feet of water taught me that calmness and focus is what keeps me floating above the water. I will not drown, I will learn to swim. My anxiety will not fool me into believing I do not have control of myself.
Create a masterpiece in your dark place. Make something amazing in your sorrows. Be creative in your struggles. Those are your best pieces of art.
When your mind is in darkness is the best canvas to create something powerful.
There are mornings when its easy to wake up, but then there are mornings when waking up is the most difficult struggle ever imagined. A change of mind and heart can help with this struggle. Allow yourself to be grateful and talk positively to yourself and about yourself. Change your own mind, strengthen yourself, and let love in when you wake up everyday. Don’t be consumed by the thoughts of a new day. Move slowly and clear your mind as you open your energy up for a new opportunity to change your life and someone else’s.
How do I explain to a person that shows this much compassion that she is gold and worthy of more than this life itself?
That her deeds she feels goes unnoticed are the core value that instilled a generation of activism and empowerment.
That the tears that fall from her eyes are caught and kept locked away as a means of rebellion and ammunition for the fight that reveals the power we have as women.
That the burden she carries on her back I’ve extended my shoulders to carry as a napsack, as I give her fresh water to drink from.
I wash her feet with my thanks, I embrace her with my gratitude, yet it’s still not enough to cover all of the sweat that falls from her head being the mother that she is and always has been.
Her superwoman tendencies, her all or nothing mindset, she told me it’s all she knows how to be, and I said that’s all she has to be.
Her work is astounding, her effort phenomenal, and still all I’ve said and words still can’t explain the sweat that falls from her head being the mother that she is and always has been.
And people don’t know the importance of a mother, that her work, every generation she carries to raise and to nuture, to feed from her breast the milk of empathy, love, acceptance and power, that she has provided ten fold all that a mother can provide without an ounce of complaint.
She is the reason that I write and I’m learning to love every ounce of myself because if I’m anything, an onunce of what she is, I would be able to do and say, speak for all of my fellow women, that we are all powerful and able in everything because we decend from the mothers we came from.
So mom, with saying so much and not nearly enough, I owe you many thanks and all that I have in me, Happy super woman day because you are the epitome of greatness and if I’m lucky, I can be just like you when I grow up.
Continue with your courage and your bravery, to live as such an example that you are.
It’s been a difficult few weeks and I find myself getting more and more discouraged so this letter is to me from me with love, affection, power, and strength.
Hey girl! I see you struggling and I know you’re starting to doubt yourself again. I see you starting to not believe in how much you worked and how much you sacrificed to be in the place you’re in now. I see that you’re starting to feel like you aren’t good enough and that you wasted your time in the classroom. I see that you feel invisible and unattractive. I see that you feel trapped, unskilled, and untalented. I see that you feel ashamed that you struggle mentally and you often wonder how it would feel to be “normal” and unafraid of the strains of every day. I see that it takes so much work just to be happy that a new day has come because you feel like you should be successful with opportunity, strength, and power.
But I also see that you gained more strength I’ve ever seen you have before. That you try your hardest and prove to yourself every day that it’s possible to, despite the struggle, regain consciousness of the reality of hope and positivity. And even though things have been difficult, you still seem to always persevere, you seem to always push through. Every obstacle that has come in your way since you were young has never devoured you. When you were grappling with your mental health in high school and college, you always made it past the panic and the tears. You always showed up and showed out even when you didn’t want to. When you didn’t have motivation, when you didn’t want to go to the counseling center or psych services you did. When they took away your financial aid and you almost didn’t go to college things turned around. When you were called weak and told you were unable to reach the standards of your major in high school, you showed that you were, you were tossed from one choir to another, but you still showed that you were good enough. When you were on conditional in a program you wanted to be in so bad, you made that conditional a permanent. And all the times you were outcasted and alone, when you were by yourself you always sparkled with power, self-control, and self-respect. This is not even half of the things you struggle with, but its shows a lot about how much you’ve overcome.
You are beautiful, worthy, and strong. Only strength can endure all that you have gone through and still have the courage to want to tell other people that they can do anything despite the world telling them that they can’t because of their gender, beliefs, sexuality, or any other identity marker that makes them who they are. You are okay and you will continue to be okay. Just take deep breaths and raise your head. Your life is not for no reason. You have a reason to keep trying to do your best.
From the one that loves you the most,
So, even though it may seem blurry right now and you don’t want to be positive, try to be kind to yourself. Always be kind to yourself. Turn the negative self-talk phrases into encouraging ones. Make your perception light, even if your circumstance is dark and smudged. Even when you have all the reasons to be hopeless, let hope blossom instead.