Sometimes it’s hard to remember the thoughts we try to forget about. That one childhood memory that brings everything back or even the ones that happened just last year. And even though we thought it was behind us, in a split second it’s staring us in the face. The feelings flood back and so does the pain, frustration, and confusion, too. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid the memory and pretend it’s not real, to repress it, of course, so we don’t have to feel.
But, as hard as it is to relive those painful memories, the ones we avoid with every part of us, they resurface.
Those memories are telling us to feel them. Without feeling them and processing how they shaped us, we hold that pain within our bodies. We often see those memories wanting to come out; in our dreams, our behavior, through our fears. To process pain and memories is to honor and love ourselves. We are not meant to hold baggage and to suffer unnecessarily. We do not live to suffer, although it seems this way.
Process the memories and express how they made you feel. What did you learn from that memory? How do you see yourself moving on from it?
Empowerment is the constant processing of pain, thoughts, and perspectives into ambition, potential, action, and advocacy. Our stories are what empowers us.
Allow yourself to feel even when it gets uncomfortable. Experience your emotions. Understand what is happening and grow in self-awareness.
When experiencing uncomfortable emotions ask yourself questions:
- What am I feeling?
- Why am I feeling this?
- Have I felt like this before?
- Do I need some help processing this emotion?
- Who can I ask for help?
- Is creativity helpful? (Should I write this down? Maybe draw it out? Make a collage?
- Is this emotion influencing my behavior? Is this behavior helpful or harmful?
- What does self-care look like for me when I feel this emotion?
- How can I increase my mindfulness when feeling this emotion?
- What are my next steps?
**Question graphic! Sticker set will be available in my Etsy shop.**
Experiencing certain emotions can be scary, but allowing yourself to feel shows you how best to support yourself or ask for support.
Feel and not dismiss, reject, or ignore how your body is reacting to your environment and experiences. You can learn so much about yourself by reflecting on what is happening.
Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to feel.
When I’m not doing well or if I can’t seem to silence my intrusive thoughts, I write. So, here is me writing right now:
I know you believe no one will want you. You fear being alone. You can’t imagine being loved or appreciated. You don’t see anything but rejection so you’ve given up.
I know you can’t sleep, so you go to bed at like 3. Some tears roll down your face but no one sees.
I know you’re trying to hide in isolation. That’s how you deal with things.
All this is silly, right? You’ll be fine. What you’re sad about is not important, it’ll happen…eventually.
Just focus on you.
Focus on you.
Me and my.
Me and my feelings.
Me and my feelings are valid.
This is how I feel and it’s been spiraling for a while.
I don’t need anyone to want me. This is me, me and now.
I’ve been hurting a lot and keeping it to myself. When I open up, I feel as though what hurts me isn’t important enough.
To be lonely and isolated, to not feel hope, love, or purpose.
That right there is the wound that needs mending.
I must love myself to move past this pain that comes from way back when.
I am important.
I don’t need validation.
I embody my purpose.
I am powerful.
I am worthy.
Love flows freely in my life.
So I know.
I just needed a moment to let all this out…again.