I remember planting this seed and thinking it would never grow. Pressured by the expectation that I’m doing something wrong, I was plagued with thoughts that if it didn’t show it’s growth it would be my fault.
But, although my expectations were low, it grew anyway and the tears I shed when it showed its little leaves made me realize I’m okay.
I’m okay because the seed is planted and as long as I have even the slightest hope that it would grow, it just might grow.
I just might grow, too.
With every breath in me and all of my energy, I push past the parts of myself that tell me I can’t.
Even on the mornings I ask “why?” I embody the character of resiliency.
“I am” despite the thoughts that say “I’m not.”
I define every day with what living means.
I draw it in cursive along the walls of my subconscious.
I deserve peace and I manifest it in every moment.
Although I need time to get my pain together, my strength always takes the lead.
What I have is the power those thoughts try to take from me.
But, even when I feel I’m at my lowest when the fear feels bigger than the triumph,
I get up.
I get up. Every. Single. Time.
Why? Because “I am.”
I sat idle on my bed.
In a trance of sorts.
While even with no energy, or motivation it continues to grow. Like a seed buried under layers of dirt. It assumed its death. Alone in the darkness. But, it is alive.
It’s fueled with struggle and pain. That’s how its fed. Hungry for the day it explodes into its potential.
On the day it’s needed most, it illuminates through my skin and explodes with brightness. I’m alive.
When I didn’t think I had it inside of me, its been there saving me all along.
Returning to its normal capacity, an everyday spark in the depths and core of my being.
It speaks its name. Strength. A nova.
The universe inside of me. The light.
My purpose manifested. I am the universe, my strength, the stamp of divinity.
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I let go.
I allow myself to flourish.
I pull all the weeds from around my insides.
I breathe again.
And with every exhale I blow it all away.
Into the universe.
Where it can no longer be found.
Getting lost behind the clouds.
Behind the stars.
I’m free now.
I let go.
Weeding out my past.
Find this poem on my Mighty Page
Sit and rest in the soil.
Ground your feet in its moisture.
Allow your feet to dig into nature’s peace.
Feel the soil in your palm, feel its natural stillness. Watch as each chunk of soil crumbles in your hand then back on the ground.
Hear your breath sync with the natural rhythm of the air. Each in and out breath recycled.
Sit and rest on the soil.
Notice your position to the trees above you. Notice how to be. Notice the enlightened realness of simply existing.
Rest in the roots of nature’s natural medicine.
Feel the peace radiate out of the earth.
You are worthy of life, of love, of compassion, of truth, of fulfillment. Your heart lies the universe. Everything that is in you is of greatness and of depth. No matter how much you struggle, remind yourself how much you have inside of you. You have great power in you.
Being a woman doesn’t make her weak or fragile and it doesn’t make her incapable of any task.
Being a woman makes her capable of whatever her body, mind, and soul allows.
Being a woman is strength. Womanhood is a warrior.
Her body is a castle, a temple, and a mansion. It has a strong foundation and can hold a strong firm family, business, or perspective in its walls.
She is also an individual with power racing through her veins.
She is a Woman who can make decisions and hold an intellectual conversation.
She is a Woman whose burdens may appear too heavy but whose shoulders grow stronger with a sound mind and kind heart.
She is a Woman who will keep going even when odds are in every direction.
She is a Woman whos beauty has transformed her into a masterpiece with her efforts alone.
She is a Woman without any validation. She is a Woman without any apologies.
She is a Woman and she will create peace in herself.
She has power to do what she likes when she likes and how she likes.
She does not owe anyone an explanation. Her words are powerful by themselves.
She is a Woman.
I am a Woman.
I remember the time I was struck with insecurities about who I am.
How I couldn’t explain what I want to do, or who I want to be.
I remember being stuck…
Putting myself down…
After I was done doing a bad job at explaining my interests, I then immediately thought, wow, that’s stupid. What you want is not a thing.
You won’t get anywhere with that. Who does that? You’ve done nothing for yourself to get the unimaginable dream you want to come true.
And as I began to crush my dreams next to tangible accomplishments of the ones around me, I began to shrink. Shrink so small that I couldn’t see myself anymore. I saw myself in the muck and oil of my current state. I began to grab my aching back and bruised arms, rub the pain from my wrist, and throw up blood from the anxiety and the depression.
Then I thought, a hope so big brings people bed ridden for dead back to life. A hope that opens closed eyes and ears. A hope of power that flows and pumps blood to my heart every time. The one time I feel a touch of happiness is when I create something.
While my suffering heart feels myself floating and dispersing into the sea of forgotten faces of capitalistic tendencies, I remember, my dreams is what brought me back to life after my soul left my body..and into an oblivion I went…drowning in fear and regret, I thought I was nothing, but my dreams made me feel something. While my body and soul unite again it’s because of my pencil and my pen.
I remember why my heart started to beat and the oxygen came back into my lungs.
I created something.
Thats what I do.
I’m a motivator for life.
Living is my motto.
I remember I was struck with insecurities about who I am, then I thought one more time…I create to give back the life of those whos bodies have left their souls.
I came to give back hope
Surface even at your lowest point. Surface when everything is caving in. Surface because there is no where to go but up, toward the surface. Where power is, and opportunity. Go to where there is healing.