What you see for yourself, what you say to yourself, and what you speak out loud is what will come to existence. While noticing and accepting the power of manifestation, you are able to see the life, body, and mental stability you are exuding. The more negativity and doubt you spew into manifestation the likelihood of it happening will increase. Practice patience and understanding in order to receive and reap the benefits of your desires and wants.
Success is a state of mind in manifestation. You are already successful. Desiring more than your current state is only a matter of persistence and work. What you say you can do, you are already doing. You are working toward a goal, an anticipated manifestation.
Become more of what you want without the doubts that come with obstacles. The path that is created based on the work you are putting in, is what is being manifested to you. Sometimes it may not look exactly how you planned, but it is exactly what you need.
How often do you think about the ways you speak to yourself? When faced with an unfortunate circumstance, a setback, challenge, or difficult moment how do you respond or reflect on it? How can you become more active in managing or controlling your mental approach to hardships, triggers, or difficulties? The daily dialogues you have with yourself are the most powerful steps in improving your mental well being. Changing how you speak, manifest, affirm or declare ideas and reflections have the potential to alter how you view and approach negativity. Therefore, as we debate, struggle, or even celebrate mentally, self-talk is how we are processing what goes on around us. What is self-talk?
Self-talk is reflective of how we see ourselves in our circumstances. If we feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed, those feelings will continue to overcome us until we get a hold of a more positive and workable view of our current state. How do we flip a negative self-image or view to a workable one?
The Toxic Perfectionist
When first introduced to the phrase “self-talk,” I sat anxiously in a counselor’s office while in college. Unaware of how self-talk affected my daily activities; the ways I spoke about myself reflected my daily thoughts. Quickly noticing the pattern, my counselor intervened every time I bullied my academic and personal progress. She showed me how my language and self-talk sabotaged my mental health. Instead of being proud of my achievements I would comment with phrases such as “I need to do better,” “That’s just who I am,” ” I’m failing,” I’m not good enough,””I have too much to do, but I feel like I can’t do it,” what’s wrong with me?” “I have to finish,” I have to fix myself.”
The more negativity I fed myself, the more I was unable to see a workable view of my anxious and depressive thoughts. My anxiety and depression continued to build because of the continuous negative self-talk I grew up maintaining. I fed my urge to remain the best; I pushed myself past my limits, forced myself to finish everything, added more than I needed to most of the time, and did not accept any grades under an A-. I was a toxic perfectionist.
The Switch
Now that I’m aware of the dangers of negative self-talk, I work more diligently and actively to flip, switch, and change how I approach overwhelming situations. I think twice about how I view working, writing, and accepting new opportunities (since I’m no longer in school). I make sure I’m being more gentle and kind to myself in general as well. In order to maintain an approachable and more workable stance to challenges, I am changing how I see myself in each moment. I see myself in power and not in defeat. I see what I can do instead of what I can’t.
Here are some ways you too can switch up and subdue your mental bully by changing phrases you may think of everyday:
Try to manipulate and change your mental language in order to further improve your mental health for yourself too. What are some phrases you can change to better approach a difficult or challenging situation? How can you control or manage the situation better by the ways you think and see yourself in it? What does your self-talk look like now that you are switching it up?
The thing about selfies is you can get the right angel. Put the right face. Send the story you want to tell.
The thing about selfies is you can hide your pain and insecurities. You can filter out what you don’t want to see. You can convince yourself that what you hate about yourself can be taken out.
The thing about selfies is you create what you want to see. You craft the image you want others to see. You unsee the flaws and the suffering.
The thing about selfies is the life is taken out of the snapshot. Just one moment. One instance of stillness.
Selfies are our way of capturing the best light of ourselves. The selves we get excited for we capture in an instant.
When we turn the wrong direction we hate it. We delete it. We don’t want to see it. We speak I’ll of our image.
And that is who we are.
We can’t look at ourselves for long moments in the mirror, in our lives in motion, instead we would rather take a selfie.
A selfie stops time to capture the one moment we see ourselves as beautiful because otherwise that’s not who we see at all.
Let’s not only look out for our “strong friends” in the wake of the multiple suicides that has surfaced in the past month. Let’s talk about depression wholeatically and ways that we can be helpful to one another. Let’s talk about mental illnesses and things that we can do to better the lives of the ones we see show symptoms that are obvious and not so obvious. Let’s be aware and awake for one another. Let’s be supportive, invested, and not afraid to sit and talk to each other about mental struggles we go through. Let’s look out for everyone and not just the ones we suspect are “too strong” and may be hiding depression. Let’s instead understand, learn, and gain perspective about mental illnesses and ways that we, as their loved ones, can continuously aid in their healing process. Let the ones who are struggling be comfortable enough to talk about their struggles even if it’s vague or confusing at first. Let us be authentic to one another. Let us ask questions, be present, and actively love on each other.
This is a letter from the one that kills herself trying to be the best because shes always been in the shadows.
The loser.
The second best.
The girl whos been rejected.
The girl who developed anxiety because she overcompensates and overdoes it.
The one who was so tedious in her actions that she gets nervous when shes not perfect.
The one who got up extra early to be on time but all she gained from that was loss of sleep.
The one who stood up all night studying and skipped breakfast.
The one who raised her hand every class.
The one who was the weakest link.
The one who couldn’t go to graduate school.
The one whos mental illnesses crippled her to mental paralysis. Dark. In a daze. She just wanted to be...the best.
The best is an illusion. The best is fake. The best is a lie. No one is the best. Everyone has talents. Everyone is really good at some things, and not so good in others. You have something about you thats great. That doesn’t make you better, or the best, it makes you who you are.
Get rid of the notion that you need to be the best. The best is a disease. Take your time. Go slow. Find yourself. You’ll then realize the best is already in you.
We are getting closer to the end of this year and I can’t help but be thankful. In the moments of darkness and in those of light, I’ve still been able to breathe. While I had to maintain and sustain myself to keep going, while sometimes I felt weakest, I can stand to say I made it through every moment. My imagination and creativity went crazy and for that I’m most excited. This year has been a sparkly one and in a war zone at that. While I continue to build my tough skin and stamina, while I continue to transform into a heightened self, I want to thank those who loved me through every moment. So much new has come this year it was overwhelming, but so much old has stayed too.
SparklyWarTanks will continue to get stronger and so will my love and gratitude, especially for those who keep up with me. New thing will come in the years to come and I’m ready.
I’m ready to continue to declare war for myself and for others. For my women, those that struggle to wake up and those that have no other choice to be strong. I also declare war for the sake of equality and justice to dismantle the patriarchy and white supremacy, racism, sexism, homophobia, islamaphobia, all those things that push us into fearing one another, its time to take those ideologies and break them. Through these systems we are seperate, but only in unity will we become our most enlightened selves.
While we have so much to do, we still have the potential to be our greatest selves, as a community, as a society, as one.
In yet a targeted yet random thought… Note 2: Search for the courage to leave abusive situations. Abuse is long lasting and causes physical and emotional trauma and damage. No one should ever be in a place dealing and compromising their happiness and sanity to stay in these relationships. There are people that love you. Enough is enough.
Its been a long night, a night filled with silent and quiet panic attacks, ones that have been revealing and direct. And as I lay in my bed, glancing at Jane the Virgin, but mostly visualizing my future in my head, I finally targeted the core trigger of the anxiety that’s been crippling my sleep. The trigger is fear of failure. Deep, paralyzing, you are nobody, and no one will ever notice you failure. Seeing so many glory stories and positive things happening to people around me…nothing is happening for me. This has been what makes me nervous, nauseous and scared.
But maybe it really is all in my head and I just keep falling back on my perfectionist mindset that I should be someone by now that is feeding this trigger?
5 Steps to winning the war against invasive thoughts.
Invade
Wage War
Win
Leave a Warning to Others
Walk Away
You have all the power and ability to change your mind and shift the negative energy and make it go away for good. Don’t give the invasive thoughts the power to take over your mind and make you feel insane. You are in charge of your sanity and negativity can not take your own autonomy and self-control. Switch it up right when you feel it creeping up. Don’t allow your mind to turn on itself. You are in control. You will always be in charge. Time to take back your mind. Declare the war. You will win.
SparklyWarTanks 