Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration

The Mental Breakdown

Mental. Break. Down.

Broken.
You are broken.
Not good enough.
Keep to yourself.
Be quiet.
You’re dramatic.
Relax.
It’s not that serious.
Get over it.
Be quiet.
Pain.
Fake.
You are faking.
You have a fake illness.
It’s not that serious.
You are being difficult again.
No one wants to hear you.
You’re talking too much.
Be quiet.
Your fault.
Look what you did.
You’re poor.
Failing.
You’re failing.
Be quiet.
Quiet.
Be quiet.
Quiet.

Silence….

What is it to have a mental breakdown? To feel the gradual overflow and overwhelm. To give in and allow the thoughts to consume all of you. The mental breakdown that takes you with it. That you believe everything it says. To be overruled by sadness and anxiety. To judge yourself so much it becomes who you are. To you it becomes truth. Every problem is your fault, and every mistake yours to make.
The mental breakdown.

Posted in Creative Writing, Declarations, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk, The Mighty

#MightyPoets: I Am and I Am Not

“I am” is the most powerful two words you can utter. The more you declare and affirm who you are, the more you will teach yourself kindness, empathy, love, power, and independence.

As we venture into the realm of declarative “I am” statements, know that we will do so with grace, forgiveness, an open mind, and strength.

We know who we are so, therefore, we know who we are not. We know that we are more and not less. Declare more while disowning the negative counterparts.

You are someone. You are someone with a journey. You are someone with a purpose. You are someone with a mind. You are someone with a voice.

So, tell me who you are.

Read this poem on The Mighty

Posted in Confessions, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power

You are a Life Worth Living

I’ve been awake at night and asleep during the day.

My eyes dried with the stale realization that I don’t matter.

My voice is low with no echo and no significance. Fingers pointing at me because I’m the dramatic one.

My motivation has wasted from its high expectation.

I fall flat on my face with this realization.

I feel broken, shattering into a million pieces, so I try to grab onto the nearest person to me, but they look at me confused…uncaring…whats wrong with you?

I scream but no sounds comes out. I’m sitting alone. I’m holding my knees to my chest.

Pain.

I feel pain.

Invisible damage.

But then…

I see the sun come up.

And still I can’t see who I’m supposed to become.

My life has no meaning.

I write it down so I can see it…

You are a life worth living.

And again…

You are a life worth living.

And while I wipe the pieces of my broken self and realize it’s just shedding ashes from the volcano that just erupted inside me, I get up.

Maybe, just maybe I will begin to see that my life is necessary.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

I am a Woman

Being a woman doesn’t make her weak or fragile and it doesn’t make her incapable of any task.

Being a woman makes her capable of whatever her body, mind, and soul allows.

Being a woman is strength. Womanhood is a warrior.

Her body is a castle, a temple, and a mansion. It has a strong foundation and can hold a strong firm family, business, or perspective in its walls.

She is also an individual with power racing through her veins.

She is a Woman who can make decisions and hold an intellectual conversation.

She is a Woman whose burdens may appear too heavy but whose shoulders grow stronger with a sound mind and kind heart.

She is a Woman who will keep going even when odds are in every direction.

She is a Woman whos beauty has transformed her into a masterpiece with her efforts alone.

She is a Woman without any validation. She is a Woman without any apologies.

She is a Woman and she will create peace in herself.

She has power to do what she likes when she likes and how she likes.

She does not owe anyone an explanation. Her words are powerful by themselves.

She is a Woman.

I am a Woman.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes

She is Becoming 

She is becoming and no one can stop her progress. She is transforming, becoming something more than she ever imagined. Like the butterfly, she built her cocoon, but before anyone could realize how long shes been away, she broke out, starting from her mind, her old ways shedding like a snake’s scales, away and left like old news. She is becoming. She has made herself into something great. From the scars of her psyche, to the bruises pounding her heart, she made it. Althought she wanted to sit and enjoy the evergreens of complacency, she got up, and there she started her process…of becoming. 

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, My Trending Stories

Crazy

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Sometimes she liked the sound glass made when it hit the ground
There’s something about shattered glass that made her crazy seem less chaotic
Her crazy made darkness into indigo and blood blossom into dripping roses
Her crazy dead in the silence of the morning moisture, laying wide eyes under the red white and orange horizon, flat on her back a new cycle of 24, her crazy
Her crazy stiff like paralysis untouchable, unlike the craziness around her,
unique
numbness
How crazy was she that she dreamt and the ideas in her head jumbled into a mush of oblivion beauty, how the meadows were such a fresh green scent, a bed of flowers rushing out of her veins and out of into the concrete, making cities back into forests
The nature in the natural
Crazy
How she saw death caress the goosebumps of the morning fears but life coming to rescue and recreating, the crazy came again, and lately confusion is normality
The thing about crazy is its many masks of reality, like Plato in the cave, our ignorance so bliss we can cut it with a knife, staring at our own illusions and unable to see
The light
The gray in the black and white
She was crazy
She didn’t believe anymore, the ink in the lies, feeding her the spoon of perceived truth, but was it really truth?
She spat out depression and threw up anxiety because deception caused the stigma that she was crazy
Mental illness was what they said caused her hesitancy because her ignorance before walked her down the aisle of matrimony, but reality divorced her, nothing is definite and she can’t trust
Now she is just crazy
The color in the black and white
The unanswerable questions
The abyss of uncertainty
Sometimes she liked the sound glass made when it hit the ground
There’s something about shattered glass that made her crazy seem less chaotic
Posted in Creative Writing, My Trending Stories

I, the Spectator: Create and Destroy

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I, the spectator

See the world a canvas

An empty canvas

Where we see, we feel in our own perspective

The world is but a perception of the spectator

We create the stories

The stories of the people we encounter

The Landscapes we see

and the moments we capture

I, the spectator rule over anything I place on my empty canvas

The spectator quiet and observing

Creates and Destroys

In our own heads, through our own eyes

We are the creator and  the creation

We speculate and we analyze

We criticize and we televize

Just passing by

We view

We observe

We witness

We look

We recreate everything that is perceived

We are the spectators

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Self-Talk, Videos

I Set Free My Quarantined Sanity

My nerves spilled and scattered on the pavement

I couldn’t gather them as I trudged and dragged my exhaustion to class that day

Last October

I carried what I could of last night’s sleep, maybe 3 hours, and the anxiety, a monster growing in the pit of my stomach drowning me till the world seemed like a blurry smudge painting

My last year of college came to me like a ton of bricks delivered to my front doorstep

My life turned into a war since I started to worry

Every

Single

Moment

Of

Every

Single

Day

My perfectionist tendencies paired with the thoughts of deadlines…no motivation…and a fear of tomorrow.  It made a nice soup ready for panic, don’t you think?

I stirred myself daily but still seemed to make it to every class, do every assignment, and manage a research project

That’s how I was last year

I sat in a office with a woman I told myself to maybe once a week hoping that my fear of living will transform into something else 

That’s how I was last year

When I reminisce and think back, I feel how I felt, that numb yet nervous feeling

I can still feel it there, lingering 

Last year, I didn’t want to wake up to the sun rising and I didn’t triumph for completing 3 years of college

Instead…

I dreaded the thought of every day coming, long days turning into long nights, a hungry stomach, and the quarantine I built around my sanity

That was last year

I don’t know how I seemed to make it a whole year later though 

In the midst of the strains and labor pains of reality, I managed to give birth to a project

This project spiraled in me October of 2015 until it was born

I named her SparklyWarTanks

I made her to fight back 

To win the war

To let my sanity free

Every time I wrote something I saved myself and I took another ingredient out of the soup 

I typed, pounded my fingers on my keyboard, to explain the motive for the birth of something new in me

I wanted to save another woman’s life while saving my own too

I wanted to burst out and say:

“Take care of yourself, take care of your mind, and your body!”

“You are important and you matter.”

“You are powerful and worthy, and beautiful.  You don’t need anyone to tell you.”

Of course those were messages I needed someone to tell me, but instead I became the billboard

The more I wrote, the more I felt the walls crumbling, the walls crowding and containing my sanity were falling

I found the key to the cage of my anxiety which surrounded my quarantined sanity

In october of 2016, grown into an adult, SparklyWarTanks evolved into a vision, into a foundation for women empowerment and mental health, one project exploded into a space, a place, a sanctuary to be safe

My anxiety transformed its face into the partner of ideas and the employer of a plan, it turned into passion.
So as I write, I write to the woman who hates herself and to the one with depression, I write to the woman with the eating disorder and to the ones living on the streets, I’m writing to the ones going through a midlife crisis and self-realization, I write to the mother and to the survivor, I write to the women who hurt and the ones who are stressed, I write to the powerful women and the ones making a difference, I write to the lawyers, and doctors, and writers, and motivators, and to our future

I write to support our next generation of women

That we stand up for ourselves and never hold our sanity hostage

That we declare our independence from expectation and perfectionism

That we defend ourselves and fight for our will to wake up peacefully and unafraid

If I could sum up how I’ve changed from last year to this year, I would simply say

I let my sanity free