I connect with the inner workings of my mind. I connect with myself. Who am I? What am I doing here? I sit and I ponder as I press the keys on my keyboard. Words flow from my mind to the ends of my fingertips. I’m free to express my thoughts, the energy of my consciousness. I create because I am the creator. I set the tone to what is happening to me. I am because I exist. I exist because I am. I am one with myself. I’ve come to know peace.
Poem shared in Mighty Poets with prompt above as well.
the depths of my shadow make me feel like a black hole…a never ending cycle of unfortunate events.
I am a masterpiece…
Despite the unwarranted attachments to the ideals and ideas that resemble the finish line of what I’ve been chasing after.
The messy boundaries, the tsunami of emotions that overpower the logical parts of me.
I am still a masterpiece…
Even after the labels, stamps, post-its, and reminders that maybe I wasn’t born to be.
Maybe the symptoms, sleepless nights, ruminating thoughts, or the clouds I ride to hide from certain parts of me.
I. Am. A. Masterpiece.
No matter who I’m with, or what I’ve done. No matter the sicknesses, or shame, or guilt, or grief.
The carefully crafted intricacies of who I am, the paint strokes of my personality, the network of veins, the heart that pumps blood, feels in bright red, my eyes that see, nose that smells, tongue that taste. All that I am is immeasurable. Unable to fit comfortably by the shackles of definitions.
The universe sleeps within my soul. I am more.
My energy contagious, spreading peace with every breath I breathe. This is me.
A spoken work peace in accessing peace following times I’ve struggled with mental health. Identifying and defining what peace means to me. Watch the video here on YouTube!
I met peace today. I didn’t expect it to feel this way. An all encompassing power of surrender. A knowing. A feeling. Being. A state of awareness, of falling like a bird knowing the safety of freedom from the wings that will save me.
Trusting self. Knowing self. One with consciousness. No more asking questions of “who am I?” but only “I am”. Basking in a green vibrant meadow filled with an ocean of flowers. A kiss from passing wind. Sitting. One with my energy. Flowing. Existing. Awakening. Comfort and confidence in self. Moments gratitude.
Witnessing one of nature’s wonders. A waterfall of crystal clear bliss. A mountain of stern certainty. Mimicking the wonders of the moon and sun. Peace. Surrendering to right now. Present. Just as it suggest, a gift of divine intervention.
A greeting. A congradulations. A integration of self. Unconditional love of self. Integrating trauma, self-awareness and transformation. Alchemy. An equal give and take. Balance. Understanding pain.
The student. The teacher. Connection. Compassion. Love. Oneness with love. Love of self is love of others. Freedom and liberation. Silence of the mind. Being the crafter. Being the creator. Stroking the pen as I see fit to write my story.
Peace. It’s me. I am peace. Peace is inside of me.
Off.
Leave.
Attachment.
Abandonment.
Neglect.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.
I give up.
I let go.
I don’t want you.
I don’t need you.
I come back to myself.
I’m first.
I’m all I have.
I’m all I need.
Cold.
My heart feels cold.
If there is one word to define me, that word would be resiliency. My unrelenting will to keep coming back stronger and better is what makes me who I am.
I reflect.
I think.
I learn.
I evolve.
I move on.
It’s a kind of elasticity. Adaptation.
Evolution.
I face what is mine and I craft it into myself.
It is a part of me.
To become more of myself is the purpose and the goal.
And as I adapt and adjust, I leave a little of what was me behind.
I am not what I was but still is who I am.
Whatever was me is still me, but now I embrace what I hid. I am the shadow and id. The ego.
All that is me I learn to admire, I tame the impulse. I am my own choice. I choose me.
I think.
I speak.
I challenge.
I am my biggest challenge.
I face that challenge.
If I am not what I know I can be, I am failing my resiliency.
Mind is flooded with questions. Ones that I can’t answer. The type that is out of my control. It’s like…how come I haven’t seen any rainbows? Maybe some miracles?
Love?
No?
Just for maybe five seconds, some flowers to represent the “well done.”
I guess I’m just emotionally exhausted.
Adulthood draining me and my subconscious.
A constant cycle of letting myself out to dry after endless tears feel like a thunderstorm.
I’m drenched with the “Whys” and “if.”
In my stomach the lightning of not feeling good enough.
I feel it strike all the way to my chest. Not killing me though but maybe it should.
…Perhaps one day, when I’m not looking, peace will knock at my doorstep ready to move in with me.
The sky will be clear.
The rain passed away.
All simply because I deserve it.
I deserve to be loved.
I deserve to feel peace.
I deserve the bouquet of flowers ready for me.
All because I deserve to be happy too.
…Until then I wait as I sit in the rain.
I let go.
Everything.
I allow myself to flourish.
To bloom.
I pull all the weeds from around my insides.
I breathe again.
I inhale.
And exhale.
And with every exhale I blow it all away.
Into the universe.
Where it can no longer be found.
Getting lost behind the clouds.
Behind the stars.
I’m free now.
I’m free.
I let go.
Everything.
Weeding out my past.
Simply because I’ve been in a mental turmoil, I ask to be reeled into safety where I can find peace again. Peace will fight for me. Peace can teach me to hope again. Where did my peace go? Please, peace come back to me.
Broken.
You are broken.
Not good enough.
Keep to yourself.
Be quiet.
You’re dramatic.
Relax.
It’s not that serious.
Get over it.
Be quiet.
Pain.
Fake.
You are faking.
You have a fake illness.
It’s not that serious.
You are being difficult again.
No one wants to hear you.
You’re talking too much.
Be quiet.
Your fault.
Look what you did.
You’re poor.
Failing.
You’re failing.
Be quiet.
Quiet.
Be quiet.
Quiet.
Silence….
What is it to have a mental breakdown? To feel the gradual overflow and overwhelm. To give in and allow the thoughts to consume all of you. The mental breakdown that takes you with it. That you believe everything it says. To be overruled by sadness and anxiety. To judge yourself so much it becomes who you are. To you it becomes truth. Every problem is your fault, and every mistake yours to make.
The mental breakdown.
SparklyWarTanks 