I’ve been sharing my mental health story with middle school and high school students with NAMI-NYC through their Ending the Silence program for almost 5 years now, and late last year I trained to become an In Our Own Voice presenter as well! It’s been an overwhelmingly gratifying experience to not only open up spaces to have conversations about mental health, but to meet new people that inspire me to continue my journey.
This Thursday April 4th at 6 pm EST you can hear me share my recovery story with Kristen in NAMI- NYC’s virtual story hour!
🌟 If you’re interested and would like to attend click here to reserve your spot 🌟
Excited to share my poem that was published in the Spotlight on Recovery magazine “Writer’s Choice” Part 7.
Get a better view of the poem here:
BREAKING UP WITH DARKNESS By Nina Rondon
I was in love with the darkness. We’ve been together for a while. Far away but so close, I could feel it holding my hand, kissing my cheek as I grin and bear it; putting on a fake smile.
At first our relationship seemed normal, natural I would say. We were right in all the wrong ways. Maybe we were soul mates, a concept I often wondered about. I craved love, so what’s the harm in loving the darkness, the cold, lonely dark cloud.
It wasn’t long before I noticed the pressure the darkness was putting on me. Expectations as deep as the ocean, a ball and chain locked to my wrists. Drowning would be the only option in a situation like this.
The more we were together, the more I noticed a shadow growing, hovering over me like a tree. It didn’t shade me, it was grief. I wasn’t comfortable, I wanted out, but it’s been so long since I spoke up, I lost my voice, I couldn’t shout.
This would be the first time I stood up for myself, I feel the stiffness as I swim up from the depths. It looks like such a long way up, but I have to do this, I have to take this step. I can see the light, the more I move close; like I was being reborn; a seed discovering its growth.
When I finally reached the surface, I have to admit I felt lost. This is the first time I’m out on my own without the darkness. What am I without it? Maybe, I should go back? I can hear it call. No! I need this! I’ve set myself free. This is how I broke up with the darkness. How I found… me.
Finish this sentence: Instead of ________ I choose to _______ this week.
Oh my goodness! I’ve had so many shifts and changes in my life this year already 😅. Honestly, I can barely keep up with it all. Despite all the changes, though, I still want to set intentional time to prioritize myself, my goals, and my needs.
For this week’s reflection let’s think about things we can do differently that may benefit us. What behaviors, habits, or routines do you want to change or improve?
I’ll go first! Instead of scrolling on social media for a few hours every day, I choose to read and watch my comfort shows this week.
What about you?
You can also find this prompt in The Pencil Case on The Mighty here.
As I prepare for my first NAMI-NYC Expressive Arts workshop for the year (I will share the flyer soon), I want to go back and share the affirmations we closed off each workshop with last year. I’m grateful for every opportunity I have to creatively express myself with a community I care so much about ♥️.
Here’s to the girl that never had a first dance Who watched everyone at her school prom get asked out but her Who’s been told she wasn’t pretty growing up Who was never anyone’s first choice Who’s been ghosted over and over Who’s been told she was too much Who feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere or with anyone Who’s been used Who fell in love with someone that didn’t feel the same Who wished fairy tales were real Who has cried herself to sleep wondering what went wrong Who’s hope and desire for love is withering away with each passing day
Me too
But, despite all of this you are STILL beautiful and worthy of all the love this world has to offer. It’s OK to love on yourself, especially on those days when everything feels heavy and the shame of loneliness is eating at your mental health. There’s nothing wrong with you. You absolutely deserve the companionship you wish for. There’s still life left to live, OK?
I love you. We can continue moving forward together.
Learning to listen to the whispers of my intuition.
The more I quiet my mind, the louder it becomes.
It’s gentle and soft.
A teacher.
Each lesson allowing the seeds of self-confidence to blossom.
Unlike my ego thoughts, my intuition is quiet, kind, and gentle. If I’m not listening, I can’t hear when it’s giving me directions and guiding me through my day. I’m learning what the voice of my intuition sounds like and how it feels to pay attention. When I allow my intuitive thoughts to lead, my confidence naturally follows.
Affirmation: I trust myself and my intuition. I know who I am.
What does it feel like for you to follow your intuition? How do you know when your intuition is trying to tell you something?
What’s something you want to practice more moving forward?
As the year winds down, I find myself reflecting on what I want to focus on — especially in terms of the relationship I have with myself. One of the things I want to intentionally practice is having more patience and love for myself. I notice that when I think too deeply or for too long about the expectations I have, I tend to be very self-critical which leaves me feeling stuck. I want to learn how to show myself more grace when I’m faced with uncomfortable or uncontrollable circumstances.
What about you? What’s something you want to practice more that’ll be helpful for you?
You can also find this prompt in The Pencil Case on The Mighty here.
Dear 2023…
Activity:
Let’s write farewell letters to 2023 this week. In your letters you can add things you’ve learned, things you want to let go of and move on from, important events that happened, how you want to move forward, or how your health has impacted you. Write whatever feels good!
Reflection:
Here’s my letter:
Dear 2023,
A lot has happened this year. I’ve felt so much grief, sadness, and confusion. I’ve experienced new symptoms and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders — some days it was even too heavy to carry by myself. I’ve had moments where I gave my best and didn’t feel like it was enough, or that I wasn’t worthy of the companionship, friendships, relationships, or the love I was craving. I’ve been really tired.
2023, I’ve extended myself and my love to so many people that I saw were suffering around the world. I still hold them deep in my heart.
I’ve had conversations and listened to stories that’s opened my perspective and learned new things from others.
Moving forward, 2023, I want to be more confident in myself, in my voice, my talents, and my skills. I don’t want to hide when I feel afraid because in the past that made me feel safe. I want to continue to advocate and show others that it’s OK not to be OK and there are people who care about them… like me! I want to be kinder to myself because I deserve kindness, and be gentler with myself because I deserve gentleness. I want to continue to listen to the stories of others and grow in awareness of what they experience. (If you’re reading this, your voice matters!)
I also want to thank the people who have helped me get through this year like my therapist, my mom, sister, NAMI-NYC fam, favorite Mighty boss lady kat, fellow kind soul and community teammate skye, plus all of you reading this right now. Any kind word or positive energy sent was received and greatly appreciated.
Farewell 2023.
It’s been a roller coaster, Nina aka SparklyWarTanks
You can also find this prompt in The Pencil Case on The Mighty here.
Let’s talk a bit about some challenges we’re being faced with and the ways we are managing, navigating, and/or overcoming them (whatever that looks like!).
A challenge I’m working to overcome is motivating myself to be more active, go out, and open myself up to new opportunities. A theme I’ve noticed this year overall in terms of my self-care and growth is gaining enough confidence in myself to do things out of my comfort zone. I know that I have some fears of the unknown, so I’m being patient with myself as I explore new and different possibilities.
What about you?
You can also find this prompt here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
What’s keeping you going right now?
With all that’s happening in the world and with all the challenges we are faced with (holiday depression, anyone?), I want to say I’m super proud of each and every one of you who may be also experiencing challenges, too (including myself 🙂).
Today, let’s share what’s keeping us going! Hope is healing, right?
I’ll go first!
My family and my passion to continue sharing my story are what’s keeping me going right now.
You can also find this prompt here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
Sometimes I look at myself and get lost in my thoughts. I think about all that’s happened up to this point. I think about the decisions I’ve made and what “success” looks like for me. I wonder about experiences I wish I would have and the possibility of them happening. I rummage in my body looking for unfamiliar feelings and accessing them more regularly. Hope is one of those feelings. I imagine myself thriving in hope. As I push forward, I sit with my fear and allow it to pass through, it’s a part of me, too. I’m gentle with myself and I’m learning to go slow as I let go of control.
I’m deserving of good things and love, of life showering me with experiences that fill me with happiness. I’m allowed to be a person, to make mistakes, and to move on from them. I’m doing a good job. There’s no timeline I have to be on. There’s no one in front of me or behind me. It’s just me experiencing this reality. I can let go of all my expectations to be anything more than what I am right now.
I’m where I need to be in the body that’s mine. I’m who I need to be in order to be successful. I’m enough and nothing can change this fact.
Write an encouraging message to yourself for the month ahead.
It’s already August! I can barely believe it 😩. Let’s continue this month with encouraging and uplifting messages to ourselves ⭐.
Here is my message:
Dear Nina,
You’re doing a great job getting through the year. I know it hasn’t been easy and you’ve wanted to give up so many times, but you haven’t. You’re a warrior! Never forget that you’re worthy of love, peace, and abundance of all kinds. Continue to do your best and please rest when you need to.
I love you, Nina
Also find this prompt here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
Which permission slip do you need today?
Comment with which one(s) you’re adding to your self-love binder this upcoming week:
🚫 Permission to set a boundary 🛏️ Permission to rest and relax 💌 Permission to prioritize myself 🤝 Permission to ask for help 🌱 Permission to feel my feelings 🗣️ Permission to speak up for myself 🥳 Permission to have some fun 🌟 Permission to treat myself to something nice 📜 Blank permission slip (create your own and share it in the comments below!)
I definitely will be taking 2 permission slips today; one to prioritize myself 💌 and the other to feel my feelings 🌱.
Also find this prompt here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
SparklyWarTanks 