Sometimes you can see someone’s intentions or motives from one conversation—perhaps in the way they talk to you, the way they phrase their sentences and how much effort they put in having the conversation—or in the way they look at you and how much of themselves they choose to put into their comments, criticisms, and advice. What’s scary, especially with strangers and even people you’ve known for a long time, is the malice that’s behind the words of those people. One phrase can make you feel worthless, some criticisms offend who you are and what you like to do, and suggestions turn into demands to change who you are to fit who they want you to be. Whatever the circumstance, whatever the situation know how to identify genuineness and when someone has an agenda. You deserve to have genuine friendships or any type of relationships. You deserve to be able to freely make connections with people without the fear of ill intention or harm to your mental health. Don’t stick around if you see this type of verbal and emotional abuse. Leave, just leave. You are worth more than that. You are in control of those situations and interactions.
I’m beautiful because even though I might not believe I can at first I still try, even though I struggle to see that I’m beautiful I encourage others to believe they are, and even though I sometimes don’t think I’m good enough I push through anyway.
I love me because I’m persistent, I continue, and I’m learning. I love me because although things have been difficult, I still have a vision and I still want to pursue it.
It wasn’t until a year after I did this project, a project where I walked around and asked various women why they loved themselves and found themselves beautiful, that I realized I do love myself and find myself beautiful. Before, I didn’t know why I thought I was beautiful or if I had any reason to love myself. I was only concerned about the women I asked. I wanted them to realize for that split second, the few minutes that we shared, to think, and to write down why they were beautiful. I was focused on them and not on me. I didn’t think I mattered. How I thought about myself didn’t matter. I don’t think I found myself beautiful at all previous this realization.
This poster is what I looked at every day in my room at school for the last semester of my senior year. It motivated me to figure out why I would love myself or find myself beautiful. However, I found it difficult to pinpoint the reasons.
After I graduated I brought the poster home and placed in on my sister’s side of our room, parallel to my bed where I could face it and see it every day.
Fast forward to last weekend where I found the Dr.Pepper Tuition Giveaway Competiton. Unlike me, I joined the competition and the first step was to write a goal I have to save the world and explain it. Of course, it took me some time to think about exactly what I wanted to say, but here is what I said:
It took a day after when I was trying to accumulate votes to be able to upload a video, that I realized then that I wanted to expand SparklyWarTanks into an actual thing. Dr. Pepper helped me to see why I’m beautiful. It helped me to realized what I wanted to do with my life. How I want to impact the lives of others and why this is so important to me. I want to change how women see themselves and communicate their perspective and understanding to others through their culture, ideologies, and values.
I don’t want other women to feel like me. Where the first 21 years of my life I didn’t love myself or find myself beautiful. I don’t want women to look and confide in outside things to make them happy. I don’t want women to drown in their own societal expectations and obligations and not be able to give one reason why they are amazing, worthy, and able. I saw SparklyWarTanks bigger.
Now this is my vision to make this, what I’m doing, bigger. I want to help.
I never felt like this before, ready to save the world. I hope I can make this something, something huge, something that can really influence the spread of self-love.
I pose a toast to everything that has killed me inside and out, that I never let it take over or make my insanity show. I won’t break down and let my wombs seep out with desperation. I won’t crash and burn at the sight of my biggest fear showing it’s face at the doors of my desires and dreams. I will constantly fight until I’m able to do everything and anything it takes to get me where I need to be.
Thank you to the struggle, without you I promise I wouldn’t know what breakthrough feels like. The breakthrough that has shown me that I’m strong enough and well enough to do whatever I was afraid to do. Thank you to those long nights where I couldn’t sleep, or those mornings I felt would never come. Thank you to pain I felt with every rejection and betrayal. Thank you to those moments I felt of freedom, joy, and peace. Thank you to silent moments of war and every victory. Thank you to sleep and relaxation. Thank you to support and love. Thank you for self-realization and self-acceptance. Thank you for words that become actions and lessons.
Thank you.
Thank you to the struggle, without you I promise I wouldn’t know what breakthrough feels like.
I challenge you to think about who you are this week. Think about what you like to do, who you like to be around, and what you find interesting. Think about your favorite color and animal. Think about what you love about yourself and write it down or type it somewhere. Write what makes you different and unique. Write down what you hate and what you look forward to. Write about your break ups and what you learned. Write about significant events and how they shaped who you are. I challenge you to write through your beauty. Find and own your beauty.
Share and comment below some things you’ve written or thought about! Beauty week is about understanding who you are and want to be.
Make sure to take care of yourself before you try to take care of or consider someone else’s circumstances. Without you well and functioning there will be nothing to work on and with.
In thinking and understanding what self-care means for you, its important to consider what you feel is important in taking care of yourself.
Think about what you value and why you value it.
If you value time with friends, then spend some time during the week to relax and chill with friends. Make sure, however, that you are giving yourself time to do what you value and what you need to do t maintain sanity along side your responsibilities. Carve out time to balance work and things you want to do.
If you value alone time with music or TV, carve out time just to relax, watch TV, Netflix, or Hulu, eat some popcorn and relax. This time is more important then you think. Give your body time to rest.
And DON’T WORRY ABOUT THINGS DURING THIS TIME TO YOURSELF!
Whatever it is that you like to do, spent time doing it. Singing, dancing, spending time with friends, eating out occasionally, are all important if you value doing it.
Make sure to eat right.
This is big because I know I don’t eat right. Make sure to eat at least three times a day. Have a balanced diet. Eating is very very important. Food gives you energy! Take vitamins too!
Sleep!
Along with food, you need sleep! Without sleep you will not function as sufficiently as you want. I know its difficult sometimes especially as a student or a worker, a mom, but get as much sleep as possible. If you can, sleep at least 8 hours a night.
Save time to reflect about things that are happening.
Often times we are so caught up in life that we let life get ahead of us. Take time to sit back and reflect on things that are happening around you. What did that A on that text mean? Or that C? That conversation with mom was really deep. Keep tabs on what is going on even if that means slowing down. If you realize that you are loosing track of whats happening, its time to slow down and reflect.
**Also if you need help, please seek help! Its worth going out and speaking to someone you trust. Talk to your best friend, a counselor, a therapist, your mom, dad, anyone who you feel will help you maintain a mental and physical balance.
Oh! Don’t forget to go to the doctor!
Check ups help you to know that your body is doing okay. Stress is not good for the body, if you feel changes happening to you, time to visit the doctor! ( I know, I don’t like it either)
Although this is not everything there is to say about self-care, these things are some important aspects you can consider when thinking about self-care.
My senior year has been very rough this past couple of months. I slept the whole night half the week, the other half I stood up doing work and took short naps throughout the night. I never ate breakfast because class was more important. I never had time to start assignments early because I always had assignments due that day. In one week in September I had a panic attack every day of the week. I didn’t sleep well, I barely ate and if I did I ate one meal. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I panicked because I was stressed. I was anxious. I was scared. Each panic was due to a stressor that was out of my control or in my control that I lacked motivation to do. Things from home, assignments, tests, talking to other people, feeling weak, hopeless, and worthless were all the things I thought about and caused anxiety in me.
Why am I here?…What is my purpose?….What am I going to do after college?…Can I even get into grad school?
I was trapped in my own insecurities. Trapped in my own self-pity. Trapped in self-doubt. Trapped in fear. Trapped.
……..
Why was I anxious?
I was anxious because I wasn’t taking care of myself and I lacked energy, I lacked energy because I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t sleeping sufficiently. I lacked motivation because I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was just tired. I didn’t want to continue.
After
But here is how I improved!
I can do it. I got this far to finish. I am worth it.
It wasn’t easy for me to realize I wasn’t a superhero, but I ultimately went for help. I went to talk to someone. I sat in the small room. I blurted out why to a stranger sitting in front of me because it was their job. It helped. I was able to talk about why. Why all of a sudden I couldn’t anymore.
Things are not fixed or perfect now, but I can say that I appreciate that I can identify what I need help in. I can’t achieve my goals in one night. Time is a thing. I have to be patient and I have to take care of myself in the mean time. If I don’t take care of myself I can’t achieve my goals to begin with.
I still barely sleep and I eat for the most part, but I changed how I thought about my circumstance.
I am good enough to do what I put my mind to.
Note: Make sure to take care of yourself because you are important, and you are worth it, and you can do it. Anything you put your mind to is yours already. Take time into consideration. Its okay to take breaks if you have to just get back and keep going.
I was tired, I wasn’t taking care of myself, I amplified my anxiety but now I know that I’m important too. My goals need me in the equation.
Loving yourself and appreciating who you are also comes with taking care of yourself. Often times we may forget, in the mist of all of our obligations and responsibilities, that we need to take care of ourselves too. We can’t function and be who we are if we are not healthy and well mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It may seem unimportant to simply have time to ourselves, sleep in once in a while, go out and have fun, but it’s as important as taking showers and brushing our teeth! All of these things are necessary in order to maintain sanity and appreciate the sun coming up in the morning and going down at night. Sometimes we need to take two seconds and reflect on everything that is going on around us. Stepping back and reflecting allows us to process and take in situations and experiences. If we are always on the go, if we are always running, we become overwhelmed and tired, we may even see ourselves loosing motivation and happiness. We don’t want to lose reasons to wake up and see worth in every day!
