Hi my name is Nina and I’m highly sensitive. Yes, I’ve said this before and yes, it’s something I’m learning to love about myself. Plagued with hearing the phrases like I’m “too sensitive” or “too deep” penetrates my psyche leaving me feeling invalidated and strange.
Yes, I notice things, very subtle things. I notice patterns and changes; I notice character traits and inconsistencies; I notice my feelings from an overwhelming amount of notices. In an attempt to create stricter boundaries for myself honoring my needs and concerns, I express thoughts on these notices. It’s been a tough road as I’ve grown frustrated with how much I feel and all that I notice.
Ultimately, I simply want to be able to express myself without being “too much.” I’m not too much. This is me in my high sensitivity.
When I’m not doing well or if I can’t seem to silence my intrusive thoughts, I write. So, here is me writing right now:
I know you believe no one will want you. You fear being alone. You can’t imagine being loved or appreciated. You don’t see anything but rejection so you’ve given up.
I know you can’t sleep, so you go to bed at like 3. Some tears roll down your face but no one sees.
I know you’re trying to hide in isolation. That’s how you deal with things.
All this is silly, right? You’ll be fine. What you’re sad about is not important, it’ll happen…eventually.
Just focus on you.
Focus on you.
Me and my.
Me and my feelings.
Me and my feelings are valid.
This is how I feel and it’s been spiraling for a while.
I don’t need anyone to want me. This is me, me and now.
I’ve been hurting a lot and keeping it to myself. When I open up, I feel as though what hurts me isn’t important enough.
To be lonely and isolated, to not feel hope, love, or purpose.
That right there is the wound that needs mending.
I must love myself to move past this pain that comes from way back when.
I am important.
I don’t need validation.
I embody my purpose.
I am powerful.
I am worthy.
Love flows freely in my life.
So I know.
I just needed a moment to let all this out…again.