I am only one. I am important and I will put myself as a priority. This is a proclamation in case I forget to put my health and happiness first.
Tag: motivation
SparklyWarTanks on The Mighty: Why my Dog is my Weapon Against my Anxiety and Depression
Read the second story I wrote on The Mighty called Why my Dog is my Weapon Against my Anxiety and Depression. I dedicated the story to my dog Baby who has helped me tremendously through the rough times I had with my anxiety and depression following graduation last year in 2016. She has lifted me up, along with my other dogs, and has given me a reason to smile, try my best to stay positive, and wake up every morning grateful.
Feel free to always visit me on The Mighty!
A Personal Confession on SoundCloud
These words came with tears so I hope you can sympathize. This is depth therapy:
Lately I’ve really been hating my body but through the lens of my mind coming out my eyes. A portal of perspective. Hear me out.
This is not one of those “pick your head up because things will get better” but a “this is a real life struggle kid so learn from it” pieces so look at this…
Just one picture can twist the notion of a once fooled concept of self-acceptance because you thought you began to love “the skin your in” but the reality of it is…
the concept is once you begin it can never regress but my regression looks so good it resembled progression like walking backwards I wanted to say “I love you” but instead I said…
I thought I got over the feeling that my thighs are not the size of the American dream or the white picket fence or the its not what it seems, but its the rugged and thick concept of oppression and prejudice, the judgemental reality that not all words are the truth or not all smiles signify happiness but covering up the reality because the sacred is watching you, you want to see the day where the light is so bright that all this will soon fade away into an oblivious sense of brainwashing…
I thought I would wake up and it would be one of those dreams where you were running from a symbol of your subconscious fears but its not because the tears were real and so were those people
The ones that said that they want you and would stay, but that was just you talking to yourself because you have to really learn to mean what you say in your head like I will start that today and I will end that tomorrow but you don’t…
Instead you give excuses and let your self-talk ruin your self-image constantly digging the hole you call home
But this ends today
The body that was once in ruins under the ashes like pompeii will rise and become the volcano that took you from existence. You are no longer going extinct or becoming a personal museum for onlookers to talk or to taste but you will climb from your ashes into an unknown place.
You will not be scared to be strange or to not fit in because you are the one who is meant to change the existing archetypal skin, the status quo, and the origins.
Today marks a holiday where you declared your independance and come back from war, where you remembered what was and proclaim that your dead exterior will fall and let your new interior reveal itself.
You are not what you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be better than right now. So if you hate your body now, start the process to make that perception change tomorrow.
If you were looking for your purpose in life stop looking because its to be who you are to the people you encounter. There’s no other purpose but to continuously labor on yourself even if that means sleepless night and uncomfortable situations.
Life is not meant to work for others, but to work on yourself in the pursuit to become something that will shatter negativity, punch fear in the face and to help others in that same process.
You have work to do so I suggest you take one day at a time to appreciate all that you are because no one will be ready for the power that will be you in the future.
Bulletin Board January 2017: Control
Control 
Be in control at all times. Don’t allow anyone or anything control how you see or deal with a situation or circumstance. You know how to deal with struggle so allow your experiences to guide your moves and your mindset Despite it getting difficult and tiring, relax and think everything through. Control yourself! Don’t allow situations to bring out anger, bitterness, or resentment. Walk away if you have to. You are in control.
WarZone Quote: You Will Always Have a Choice
Don’t unpack your bags in a place that will harm your progress and make you feel like you don’t deserve better. Settling in dangerous territory will only open your wombs and create chaos in your mind. Better is always and will always be an option. Staying in toxic places and situations is a step backwards. Move forward in your already achieved progress. Don’t put your things down until you know its for your betterment.
Excerpt From my “Blood Honesty” Portion of SWT Writing Therapy
So I’m in the process of adding a new portion of SWT writing called “Blood Honesty.” This will be a collection of therapy writing, creative writing pieces and reflections that helps me recall memories that has come up over and over. I relate how these memories have boiled into hurt and how I operate with people. This writing will be in my next book project “Writing to Heal: Power of Written Word.”
This is an excerpt from a Blood Honesty post that I wrote on November 27th:
The concept of love is so underrated, mixed and confused with all emotions felt by people. But love, real love, unconditional love felt by someone that doesn’t have to love you is deep, its true, and its the most genuine of human emotion and character. When real love happens, when you see it unravel in the ways that it works wholeheartedly is profound, complicated, confusing, and impossibly possible (now you know why people cling to the trope and figure of Jesus Christ). It’s this idea that makes people want to live longer. It’s this concept of love despite the fear of disappointment and inevitable death that keeps and makes peace and inclusivity possible. The absence of love causes mental health issues and division, just like the absence of light is darkness and loneliness. Conditional love (masked emotional confusions and uncertainty ), the love that is so commonly mistaken for unconditional love (genuine love) is what we don’t know how to feel or what to do when we feel it (unless its from a parent or guardian to a child which can still have complication). How crazy it sounds that this can be felt by us, by people, especially people who are different, is what we need (and what is taught in every central religion essentially) that people don’t understand and cant contemplate. We need this love toward each other, everyone, not just people who are like us or share similar ideological, political, or religious views. We need love despite what separates us and what makes us distant from one another. We need love. Unconditional love.
War Zone Quote: Remove Toxicity from your Interactions
Sometimes you can see someone’s intentions or motives from one conversation—perhaps in the way they talk to you, the way they phrase their sentences and how much effort they put in having the conversation—or in the way they look at you and how much of themselves they choose to put into their comments, criticisms, and advice. What’s scary, especially with strangers and even people you’ve known for a long time, is the malice that’s behind the words of those people. One phrase can make you feel worthless, some criticisms offend who you are and what you like to do, and suggestions turn into demands to change who you are to fit who they want you to be. Whatever the circumstance, whatever the situation know how to identify genuineness and when someone has an agenda. You deserve to have genuine friendships or any type of relationships. You deserve to be able to freely make connections with people without the fear of ill intention or harm to your mental health. Don’t stick around if you see this type of verbal and emotional abuse. Leave, just leave. You are worth more than that. You are in control of those situations and interactions.
War Zone Quote: Remove Toxicity from your Interactions
There is no such thing as Being Somewhere More than Where you are…
“They are nowhere where they need to be”
I often hear this phrase spoken about people’s circumstances and situation and it bothers me. It bothers me that people put time limits on where someone should be. Assuming they should be somewhere farther or ahead, as if they are moving slow in
their own life. What’s interesting to me is that this is a common phrase especially when someone is financially unstable, going through mental hardships, or just having a lazy period. It’s not up to anyone else to decide where someone should be in their own life. Even if they are being lazy and should or “need to get themselves together,” it’s up to the person to decide. Other unknown things can be going on with that person, but again it’s not up to anyone else to decide.
Progress is determined by continuous change and reflection along with keeping those changes and reflections to your next phases and accomplishments. The smallest things can be progress, therefore you can determine your own progress. In this specific point in your life you are where you need to be, but its up to you to continue everyday finding yourself, and that conscious choice will help you find your worth and potential. The realization and acceptance of acknowledging that you are where you need to be right now will only make you more comfortable with where you are.
Just keep moving, you will get where you need to be.
There is no such thing as Being Somewhere More than Where you are…
Enough
Enough.
One word that has the power to halt the existence of things that don’t need to exist. Things that hurt, things that bother, things that harm, and things that blind. Things that need to be extinct. Extinct in the ways that make you hate.
Enough of the drowning, and enough of the hopelessness. Enough of the self-harm and the self-hate. Enough of the vices, and the things that you surround yourself with that aren’t helping. Enough of the pain. The pain that is so comfortable, making itself at home. Ingrained in the way you think and interact. Enough. Enough of the toxicity in your life. The people. The places. The ideas. Let go of those things that are killing you from the inside.
You don’t need a new year to start or an occasion to do something different. You don’t need someone to tell you to stop.
Enough.
Enough of postponing yourself for the betterment and comfort of someone else.
Today, right now. Make something change. The way you see yourself, the way you handle situations that are not productive.
In one moment you can say enough and in that moment you’ve set yourself loose. You’re starting again from the point where pain started taking over.
Enough.
You did it.
Beauty Week Challenge
I challenge you to think about who you are this week. Think about what you like to do, who you like to be around, and what you find interesting. Think about your favorite color and animal. Think about what you love about yourself and write it down or type it somewhere. Write what makes you different and unique. Write down what you hate and what you look forward to. Write about your break ups and what you learned. Write about significant events and how they shaped who you are. I challenge you to write through your beauty. Find and own your beauty.
Share and comment below some things you’ve written or thought about! Beauty week is about understanding who you are and want to be.
SparklyWarTanks 