-Bad days don’t make you weak. -Struggling with your mental health does not make you weak. -Flare-ups or breakouts from conditions or illnesses does not make you weak. -Feeling overwhelmed does not make you weak. -Feeling angry, frustrated, guilty, lonely, hopeless or ashamed does not make you weak. -Mistakes don’t make you weak. -Exhaustion or overstimulation does not make you weak. -Having limits does not make you weak. -Taking breaks does not make you weak. -Changing your mind does not make you weak. -Having needs does not make you weak. -Sensitivities don’t make you weak.
The more I reflect, the more I realize how much energy it’s taking to process the grief that’s these past three years has weighed on my body, my heart, and my spirit. And even though I push past every time, I’m still tired.
Is anyone else like me? Where navigating the World is overwhelming some days. Where I try my best, but still it’s hard not to compare my life to others. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live life as if I was another?
Where you asks the questions that don’t matter, but still blossom into ruminating thoughts. Like, will they accept me? Or, Can someone love me, too? Maybe, will I ever really feel free to be myself, 100% myself, without worrying that I’m too weird or different for the eyes that witness me? Perhaps it’s the sicknesses that plague my body that dictate my fate after all?
Who can love me, too? I ask myself as I wake up in an anxious puddle of sweat dripping down my burdened shoulders.
Maybe, just maybe it’s possible. The love. The acceptance. The bliss of freedom to be myself without fear.
I ask the universe to allow me that freedom. Right now, I manifest that freedom. I am free from the drought of shame, grief, and guit. I am worthy of the love I seek because it seeks me too. I am ready to receive.
Even during the ebbs and flows of life, the painful moments, the lessons, the bad decisions, the storms, its okay to love yourself. Show yourself some compassion and grace today.
Healing Letters of Reflection: [Topics- Codependency and Anxious Attachment]
I understand now. I understand what I was meant to learn. How I was in pain too. But, I was trying to make you love me, even though you didn’t want to. I’m sorry. You were in pain like me. The cycles of run and chase. I saw something I knew I could love, so I latched onto that feeling. I was wrong though. Because, I was in pain and needed to manage and take care of my heart first. I needed to love myself more and I didn’t. I wanted to love you because I saw myself in you. Maybe loving you would help me love myself? No. That’s not how that works. Being alone was scary. It was a step into an oblivion of nothingness. What am I to do with all this pain I feel into an unknown future? Can I do it? Wow, do I even believe in myself? Who am I? What do I even want? It’s the ideas, the potential, the feeling. It’s the fear of changing into a person I don’t know.
…Well I’m that person now. The person I was scared to become because, who is she? She can see. She gets it. She understands.
I understand now. That I was in pain. I was panicking. Trauma responses left and right. Trying to fix. Fixate. Control. Overexplain. Change someone else. I was the one who needed changing. But, that’s okay…because I understand now. So, thank you. You helped me to see, because everything was foggy back then. I hope everything is good with you. I hope you can understand, too.
A fun fact about me is I LOVE comfort items like pillows, soft blankets, and stuffed animals.
One important detail about me is that resting is really essential for my mental and physical health. Being highly sensitive, I burn out quicker then others.
Join the conversation here in The Pencil Case on The Mighty!
Ever had a conversation with your higher self, realizing that in those moments the words you speak are also the words you would say to the people you love the most.
Growing in self-love is learning to treat yourself like you would treat someone you love and would want them to be kind to themselves. Encouraging them to keep going and to be strong because you see that in them. As much as you see the strength in them is also the strength that is present in you.
Treat yourself with kindness today. Allow yourself grace through the toughest moment. Remember that emotions don’t make you weak, especially the ones that weigh heavy on your heart.
You are worthy of love and acceptance. No one can take away your strength. No one can strip you of your worth.
In the journey of higher consciousness is the transformation and heightened awareness of the self. The ego death is the process of moving past the self’s initial definion — in the context of trauma, duality, and bias, not reverting back to trauma of trigger responses, black and white thinking, or surviving. Instead, this “death” is a surrendering of sorts to a new way of thinking and practiced awareness to rewire and create a reality that is reflective of abundance and wholeness.
The ego, in its creation, thrived on the limited perspective and perceptions of the child, an infantile thinking. As growing older permits, a new birth of understanding pushes it’s way through in order to pave the way for change in the process of enlightenment.
To become enlightened, to awaken, or to elevate means to make space in your consciousness, space not allowed previously due to ego expectations and standards. This new space will allow for intuitive thinking, unconditional love of self, and integration of shadow.
As the process of ego death is painful, as it means letting go of conditioning, it is the process of alchamizing the infantile mind to one of radical self-acceptance and self-awareness. This process allows for seeing and knowing who the self really is in its power and abilities.
The self no longer needs the validation or acceptance of anything outside of itself. Everything needed lies inward.
Affirmation: Everything that I need, I already have. My reality is created by me.
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