Note 18: I’ve realized that being tired is a part of being an adult especially when you’re trying to create yourself. Even when you’re really tired, however, you can always create something. You can create something big or something small. Let your creativity flow even when you’re exhausted.
Category: Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration
One Reflection
We are getting closer to the end of this year and I can’t help but be thankful. In the moments of darkness and in those of light, I’ve still been able to breathe. While I had to maintain and sustain myself to keep going, while sometimes I felt weakest, I can stand to say I made it through every moment. My imagination and creativity went crazy and for that I’m most excited. This year has been a sparkly one and in a war zone at that. While I continue to build my tough skin and stamina, while I continue to transform into a heightened self, I want to thank those who loved me through every moment. So much new has come this year it was overwhelming, but so much old has stayed too.
SparklyWarTanks will continue to get stronger and so will my love and gratitude, especially for those who keep up with me. New thing will come in the years to come and I’m ready.
I’m ready to continue to declare war for myself and for others. For my women, those that struggle to wake up and those that have no other choice to be strong. I also declare war for the sake of equality and justice to dismantle the patriarchy and white supremacy, racism, sexism, homophobia, islamaphobia, all those things that push us into fearing one another, its time to take those ideologies and break them. Through these systems we are seperate, but only in unity will we become our most enlightened selves.
While we have so much to do, we still have the potential to be our greatest selves, as a community, as a society, as one.
Bulletin Board October 2017: Kindness and Compassion
Kindness and compassion are choices. Choose to be kind. Choose to be compassionate. Let others know that they are not alone and can get help. Practice empathy in kindness and feel empathy in compassion. Validate someone else’s existence and experience through your use of compassion.
Also practice self-kindness and compassion. Respect and value who you are. Just as someone else can hurt you, you can also hurt yourself. Watch how you interact with yourself in the ways you think and what you consume. Fill yourself with ideas, foods, thoughts, drinks, and perspectives that are healthy for you.
Choose to build on kindness and compassion in order for them to be who you are. You are kindness and you are compassion.
An Intro: Confessions of my Anxiety and Depression
This video was a requirement for a job opportunity I didn’t get, so I will be sharing it here. This is my attempt at talking about what I go through. It’s a bit vague and short, but liberating. It’s easier for me to write about what I go through than talk about it. Sometimes I can’t find the words to speak, but I can write them down. Sometimes I can create a quote or a poem, but I can’t blatantly talk about the struggles I go through. This is the first of many videos I hope to make in the future. The video quality isn’t great and it’s a bit choppy, but this is new for me. Hope you enjoy.
This is me being open and honest about my depression and anxiety. This is me not pushing my struggles under the rug or declaring what I have isn’t real. This is me facing my monsters. This is me putting myself out in the open. This is me healing.
The Dark Canvas
Create a masterpiece in your dark place. Make something amazing in your sorrows. Be creative in your struggles. Those are your best pieces of art.
When your mind is in darkness is the best canvas to create something powerful.
SWT 100 Notes: Note 17
I was lost
For a little while
I was broken by the big vision and the big dreams
I didn’t think I can do it…
Me
I was lost from the notion that I wasn’t getting anyway
That the road was too narrow and me, too big…I got tired
But im back again
To fight some more…
I don’t want to be lost anymore
SWT 100 Notes: Note 16
And so my self-awareness journey is great as I notice recurring patterns, in my actions and behavior, for when I can feel myself falling back into unhealthy ways of coping. I know when things aren’t going so well and need to take a step back. That time has come. It’s time I motivate myself to stand up, breathe, and take a break. As I would usually go into hiding at this stage, I won’t. I will declare that I can do this. I can get past this. I can and I will. I won’t give up and I will take care of myself. Even though I can see all the peoples faces staring at my struggle, not understanding the fears and pain that I face, I will care for myself above all. I will see myself as valid and dismiss any negative energy pushing me away from being better. I can. I can do this.
Bulletin Board September 2017: Empathy
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Empathy is more than feeling the struggles of others. Empathy is a connection and a bond between those who feel empathy and those that empathy is acted upon. Empathy can be painful as well as fulfilling as it builds the awareness of the empath to open their perspective to the suffering and also happiness of those who do not share the same life and experiences as their own. Empathy means to understand and be aware of the spaces, people, and circumstances that surround them. Empathy is a heightened sense of self and self-awareness. Empathy is feeling, knowing energies, and having the ability to identify and console the hurt and pain as well as acknowledge and appreciate the happiness of people and environments.
There is Something About You
We often get discouraged when coming to the realization that we have to be something. We all want to be someone. We want to feel needed and wanted. We want to crave waking up in the morning because we have a purpose. We want to feel that our life is something. We want to feel that we are here for a reason. We are often filled with anxiety when we see that time is passing and we aren’t achieving anything or impacting anyone. We question whether we have a purpose at all. Do we have a purpose?
Making something of yourself, feeling a sense of fulfillment, being passionate, feeling joy, feeling peace and comfort all combine to reveal what your purpose is. Having and building a sense of self is purpose. Finding yourself and being yourself makes who you are special. The energy you lets saturate a room with passion and happiness is a major manifestation of purpose. Purpose is happiness in your current state. Purpose is time and energy being used in something that betters the perspective of yourself and others.
Using whatever gift or talent you have (this can be a plethora of things) to work at self-fulfillment is what purpose is. The next time you find yourself discouraged because you feel you don’t have a purpose, remember that you and your life is already purpose. Work on building and empowering yourself. Purpose is already there. It’s just a matter of feeding the beast that is you and showing who you are to the world. Let’s hope they’ll be ready for you.
There is Something About You
Bulletin Board August 2017: Moving Forward, Progression, and Transformation
Moving forward comes with transformation and letting go. Don’t feel guilty for being better and doing better. Take steps in progression.
In the process of transformation and moving forward:
- There are times where you will be uncomfortable.
- You will come face to face with your biggest battle/struggle/obstacle
- There will be pain
- You will be hurt
- Sometimes you will doubt yourself/something you thought you believed
- Your perception will change
- You will become liberated mentally/spiritually/emotionally
- Freedom will look differently
- You will understand more the challenges of others as well as your own
- You will ask questions
- You will be different
While you move forward and transform, there will be times where anxiety will strike you. You will notice that you see the world differently. Don’t be afraid of this realization. In that moment you have broke free from the chains of complacency.
SparklyWarTanks 