Surface even at your lowest point. Surface when everything is caving in. Surface because there is no where to go but up, toward the surface. Where power is, and opportunity. Go to where there is healing.
Tag: Poem
Self-Realization
I was scared of my deepened sadness and pessimism
I was scared when I started to panic
I was scared when my shadow was resurrecting itself from the depths of my regression
The ways I wanted to perfect myself in the mirror or I would hate how I looked
The ways I didn’t believe anymore
The way I felt what everyone else was feeling
The anger I felt when they said I couldn’t
The tendencies
The habits
I locked myself in my room
I closed my door
I stood by myself
Myself was coming out
I wanted to lock her back in my psyche
I realized that who she is who I am
I wanted to swallow her in myself
Again
It’s better not to cope in that way…
Cope with regression
Instead of coping with progression
I learned that she is me
The me who was a step ahead of who I was
I read the note she wrote me when she came out
I am dangerous
I am who you are
The girl who is unafraid
Unafraid of the unknown ahead
Because you don’t know who I am
But I know who you are
And it’s time for that girl to wake up a woman
A woman who is unapologetically in control of herself
And nothing will make her afraid of every part of herself that she once hid away from reality
She is you and you can’t hide her anymore
I am here and I am you
Digest the words…
Control
Power
Peace
Perseverance
and beginning
This is a beginning
Postage from my Memory
I See You
I see you
When you cry yourself to sleep because you don’t feel you’re good enough
When you see those around you getting rewarded, but you aren’t
When you’re up all night working, but no one notices
When you do something great, but no one sees
When you were there for everyone, but no one is there for you
When your family eats at night and the house is clean
When everything runs smoothly and as planned
When you feel hopeless and useless because you don’t see what a gem you are
I see you, you’re not invisible
To the unnoticed
To the kindhearted
To the silent blessings
To the hard workers
I see you and thank you
You are appreciated
I See you
Enough
Enough.
One word that has the power to halt the existence of things that don’t need to exist. Things that hurt, things that bother, things that harm, and things that blind. Things that need to be extinct. Extinct in the ways that make you hate.
Enough of the drowning, and enough of the hopelessness. Enough of the self-harm and the self-hate. Enough of the vices, and the things that you surround yourself with that aren’t helping. Enough of the pain. The pain that is so comfortable, making itself at home. Ingrained in the way you think and interact. Enough. Enough of the toxicity in your life. The people. The places. The ideas. Let go of those things that are killing you from the inside.
You don’t need a new year to start or an occasion to do something different. You don’t need someone to tell you to stop.
Enough.
Enough of postponing yourself for the betterment and comfort of someone else.
Today, right now. Make something change. The way you see yourself, the way you handle situations that are not productive.
In one moment you can say enough and in that moment you’ve set yourself loose. You’re starting again from the point where pain started taking over.
Enough.
You did it.
A Personal Confession
These words came with tears so I hope you can sympathize. This is depth therapy:
Lately I’ve really been hating my body but through the lens of my mind coming out my eyes. A portal of perspective. Hear me out.
This is not one of those “pick your head up because things will get better” but a “this is a real life struggle kid so learn from it” pieces so look at this…
Just one picture can twist the notion of a once fooled concept of self-acceptance because you thought you began to love “the skin your in” but the reality of it is…
the concept is once you begin it can never regress but my regression looks so good it resembled progression like walking backwards I wanted to say “I love you” but instead I said…
I thought I got over the feeling that my thighs are not the size of the American dream or the white picket fence or the its not what it seems, but its the rugged and thick concept of oppression and prejudice, the judgemental reality that not all words are the truth or not all smiles signify happiness but covering up the reality because the sacred is watching you, you want to see the day where the light is so bright that all this will soon fade away into an oblivious sense of brainwashing…
I thought I would wake up and it would be one of those dreams where you were running from a symbol of your subconscious fears but its not because the tears were real and so were those people
The ones that said that they want you and would stay, but that was just you talking to yourself because you have to really learn to mean what you say in your head like I will start that today and I will end that tomorrow but you don’t…
Instead you give excuses and let your self-talk ruin your self-image constantly digging the hole you call home
But this ends today
The body that was once in ruins under the ashes like pompeii will rise and become the volcano that took you from existence. You are no longer going extinct or becoming a personal museum for onlookers to talk or to taste but you will climb from your ashes into an unknown place.
You will not be scared to be strange or to not fit in because you are the one who is meant to change the existing archetypal skin, the status quo, and the origins.
Today marks a holiday where you declared your independance and come back from war, where you remembered what was and proclaim that your dead exterior will fall and let your new interior reveal itself.
You are not what you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be better than right now. So if you hate your body now, start the process to make that perception change tomorrow.
If you were looking for your purpose in life stop looking because its to be who you are to the people you encounter. There’s no other purpose but to continuously labor on yourself even if that means sleepless night and uncomfortable situations.
Life is not meant to work for others, but to work on yourself in the pursuit to become something that will shatter negativity, punch fear in the face and to help others in that same process.
You have work to do so I suggest you take one day at a time to appreciate all that you are because no one will be ready for the power that will be you in the future.
SparklyWarTanks 