6 Truths About Worth:
-Your worth is defined by who you are, intrinsically. Nothing you “do” or “don’t do” can change your worth.
-Your worth does not fluctuate or change depending on who you are with or who you want to be with.
-You are worthy no matter what. There is nothing outside of you that can determine your worth.
-How someone treats you is reflective of them and not of you.
-Nothing and no one can take away your worth.
-Your worth will stay with you and will not leave. There is no need to prove your worth to anyone.
You are a whole person without anyone telling you or showing you. Being with someone does not validate your worth. You were worthy before them and you are still going to be worthy with them or after them.
You are complete.
You are enough.
You are necessary.
You are important.
Even with the struggle and layers that come with you, I love you.
Even with sickness and daily challenges, I love you.
Every morning, I love you.
When you lay your head to rest, I love you.
When you don’t have energy, I love you.
When you don’t feel accomplished, I love you.
When you doubt your worth, I love you.
When you can’t look at yourself in the mirror, I love you.
In your frustration, I love you.
When you think no one cares, I love you.
When you think no one will fully accept you, I love you.
When your mind is being mean and destructive, I love you.
When you think you are unworthy of love, I still love you.
Even when the thought of love is hard for you, I will always love you.
No matter what is stopping you from loving you, I AM the part of you that will always love you.
You are valued and worthy.
There is no need to continue to adapt and adjust to other people’s needs while not receiving any love and support back.
There is no need to beg others to treat you with respect and continuously try to understand them while they are intentionally misunderstanding you.
There is no need to blame yourself every time something goes wrong.
There is no need to wait on someone else to see how much of a good person you are.
You do not need to wait for someone to make space for you when you continuously make space for them.
You do not need to be validated or to prove your worth.
When someone shows you over and over that they don’t care, believe them.
You value transparency, honesty, and support. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve.
Keep your circle small with people who love you and care for you as much as you love and care for them.
Don’t give anyone excuses for their behavior not meeting the bare minimum standards.
Your worth is not dependent on how they treat you or their ability to change. They will not change. Choose you. You deserve to choose you every time.
With Love and Power,
It’s difficult to face yourself, every part of yourself. To sit, feel your pain, and acknowledge when you need help is nothing short of a heroic act.
Advocate for yourself when no one else is advocating for you. Call yourself out when you know you need to do better. Move and do what’s best for you. Trust in yourself. Gain knowledge. Grow in empathy.
Realize that you don’t need to carry those burdens everywhere you go. Relieve yourself of the expectations that cause you pain and fuel habits of self-sabotage. Create reasonable expectations instead. Know yourself. Say no. Be gentle with your self-talk.
Speak the words “I can” and walk in your affirmations and manifestations. Follow through with what you say you will.
Be intentional with self-love and take care of yourself.
Realize how important you are and take action. Move in grace and gentleness with every step.
The more you accept yourself in your intrinsic beauty and worth, the closer you are to purpose and change.
First believe, each step will then be accompanied with power.
While in the midst of creating SparklyWarTanks, the first target audience that popped into my mind was to reach minds and open perspectives in my neighborhood; the black neighborhood in Brooklyn I call home. I wanted to talk about mental health and women empowerment to those Black and Latinx women I saw every day.
I build SparklyWarTanks with the goal to uplift and empower women in my community but, what made my goal for SparklyWarTanks distinct and concrete, reflecting me and my growth, is remembering and honoring those black women educators/advisors/counselors/friends who helped shape my perspective. It was the love, care, and dedication of these women that I saw in myself, the ability to be something great when I thought I was nothing.
So to say that I am not a combination of great minds is false.
Black women, you are sacred and valued. Your voice is strong and transcends logical limitations. Speak your truth. Your life is important. You continue to lead us in revolution and I thank you.
I see you. I hear you. I love you.
Rest in power Breonna Taylor.
In a rapidly changing world where “normal” is being redefined and challenged, it feels different and strange to imagine what we once knew as everyday life shifting. It’s mind-boggling to think we are adjusting and adapting. But, what are we adapting and adjusting to? Big buzzwords, for those of us who have been quarantined or stuck at home and even those essential workers going out risking their health every day, are fear, anxiety, productivity, motivation, worth, and purpose.
- What does it mean to be productive?
- What does it mean to feel motivated?
- What does it mean to feel worth and purpose?
- How are we learning to self-care and make decisions about how we view ourselves and what we want in life?
- What do fear and anxiety mean for us?
- What is mental, emotional, and physical health?
- How will socializing change or shift?
- How do we define success or accomplishments?
As we ponder and navigate who we are during this exhausting period in history, I caution us to be gentle with ourselves and take a step back. Give ourselves time to understand that it’s okay to take a minute or more to slow down. Even with our everyday responsibilities, reflection and self-care are necessary. We are not living the same way we were last year or even a few months ago. We do not have to pile on expectations and lists of things to do. We also can give ourselves permission to prioritize our mental and physical health; make goals, and shorten our lists to things that mean something to us.
Note: Don’t be afraid to put yourself first.
Take a moment to jot down your needs and personal goals. How will you self-care today? Have you been checking in with your feelings and mental state?
It’s okay to take a step back.
You define what is best for you.
If even with a small gesture or quick check-in with the people you cherish, let them know they are loved and not alone.
Busyness is how some of us distract ourselves from our thoughts and trauma. With so much to do, there is often no time to stop, reflect, and build a relationship with ourselves. In times of isolation, however, it’s more difficult to combat and dismiss the impulse of intrusive thoughts. This may even be the first time some are alone with their thoughts and can’t immediately turn to “doing” to deflect negative patterns of thinking.
What do we do when experiencing an overwhelming spiral of intrusive thoughts?
- Acknowledge the thought. Ask yourself, Is this thought familiar?
- Identify the feelings the thought brings up. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this?
- Turn to a productive perspective to address spiraling. Is this thought true or intrusive?
- Reassure yourself that you are doing the best you can and practice self-compassion. What is triggering this thought and what can I do to help myself reframe/dismiss this thought.
- Write down what you are thinking or feeling. How intense is what I’m experiencing?
- Ask for help or talk to someone you trust to get a different perspective.
Building a sense of self-awareness takes time and patience. There may even be parts of ourselves we may encounter for the first time and that’s okay. We are all multifaceted. Building a relationship with who we are is important.
This may be the first time we find ourselves actually reflecting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t grow and learn to love all parts of ourselves.
Remember that although some of us may be out of work, away from the people we love, or can’t pursue what we want to do right now, it doesn’t take away from our worth or value. Because we sometimes link what we “do” to our value, we lose our sense of self.
Message: You are valuable despite your productivity level or how much motivation you have. Give yourself time to figure out what time looks like for you. Reflect and get to know who you are, what you like to do, and what your next steps will be. Put yourself first. Step back from the noise and connect with your needs.
Mental health and well-being are important as we navigate the what-ifs and anxiety of uncertainty.
Ask yourself, what are my needs right now? How can I meet those needs?