Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Mental Health, Potential and Worth, Self-Care, Self-Talk

Subduing the Mental Bully: Creating a Positive and Workable Self-Talk


What is Self-Talk?

How often do you think about the ways you speak to yourself? When faced with an unfortunate circumstance, a setback, challenge, or difficult moment how do you respond or reflect on it? How can you become more active in managing or controlling your mental approach to hardships, triggers, or difficulties? The daily dialogues you have with yourself are the most powerful steps in improving your mental well being. Changing how you speak, manifest, affirm or declare ideas and reflections have the potential to alter how you view and approach negativity. Therefore, as we debate, struggle, or even celebrate mentally, self-talk is how we are processing what goes on around us. What is self-talk?

Self-talk is reflective of how we see ourselves in our circumstances. If we feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed, those feelings will continue to overcome us until we get a hold of a more positive and workable view of our current state. How do we flip a negative self-image or view to a workable one?

The Toxic Perfectionist

When first introduced to the phrase “self-talk,” I sat anxiously in a counselor’s office while in college. Unaware of how self-talk affected my daily activities; the ways I spoke about myself reflected my daily thoughts. Quickly noticing the pattern, my counselor intervened every time I bullied my academic and personal progress. She showed me how my language and self-talk sabotaged my mental health. Instead of being proud of my achievements I would comment with phrases such as “I need to do better,” “That’s just who I am,” ” I’m failing,” I’m not good enough,””I have too much to do, but I feel like I can’t do it,” what’s wrong with me?” “I have to finish,” I have to fix myself.”

The more negativity I fed myself, the more I was unable to see a workable view of my anxious and depressive thoughts. My anxiety and depression continued to build because of the continuous negative self-talk I grew up maintaining. I fed my urge to remain the best; I pushed myself past my limits, forced myself to finish everything, added more than I needed to most of the time, and did not accept any grades under an A-. I was a toxic perfectionist.

The Switch

Now that I’m aware of the dangers of negative self-talk, I work more diligently and actively to flip, switch, and change how I approach overwhelming situations. I think twice about how I view working, writing, and accepting new opportunities (since I’m no longer in school). I make sure I’m being more gentle and kind to myself in general as well. In order to maintain an approachable and more workable stance to challenges, I am changing how I see myself in each moment. I see myself in power and not in defeat. I see what I can do instead of what I can’t.

Here are some ways you too can switch up and subdue your mental bully by changing phrases you may think of everyday:

Try to manipulate and change your mental language in order to further improve your mental health for yourself too. What are some phrases you can change to better approach a difficult or challenging situation? How can you control or manage the situation better by the ways you think and see yourself in it? What does your self-talk look like now that you are switching it up?

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, Potential and Worth, Power, Quotes, Self-Care, Self-Talk

What is this Pain Doing for You?

When something or someone is causing you pain ask yourself, is this pain teaching me anything or opening up my perspective to ensure and guarantee my growth? In times where toxicity is present but not always apparent, you must determine whether that pain is necessary or toxic.

In terms of building relationships whether romantic, familial, or platonic, the occurrence of issues or disagreement is inevitable. When disagreements turn into manipulation, unnecessary pain, purposeful lack of communication, immaturity, lack of accountability, or one posing as “the parent” if not one is where a line must be drawn.

Remaining in toxic relationships or spaces do not determine your worthiness as a person. Your worth is not manifested by how much pain you can endure as you remain in toxic situations. Loyalty should not be painful. There is no need to wait around and stunt your growth for someone/something else. While pain is a teacher and in specific situations teaches you to become better, in others will cause trauma.

Always put your well being first before anything. If you find you are not benefiting from a relationship, space, or situation, relieve yourself of that pain

Posted in My Trending Stories, Potential and Worth, Quotes, Self-Care

War Zone Quote: Remove Toxicity from your Interactions


Sometimes you can see someone’s intentions or motives from one conversation—perhaps in the way they talk to you, the way they phrase their sentences and how much effort they put in having the conversation—or in the way they look at you and how much of themselves they choose to put into their comments, criticisms, and advice. What’s scary, especially with strangers and even people you’ve known for a long time, is the malice that’s behind the words of those people.  One phrase can make you feel worthless, some criticisms offend who you are and what you like to do, and suggestions turn into demands to change who you are to fit who they want you to be.  Whatever the circumstance, whatever the situation know how to identify genuineness and when someone has an agenda.  You deserve to have genuine friendships or any type of relationships.  You deserve to be able to freely make connections with people without the fear of ill intention or harm to your mental health.  Don’t stick around if you see this type of verbal and emotional abuse.  Leave, just leave.  You are worth more than that. You are in control of those situations and interactions.

War Zone Quote: Remove Toxicity from your Interactions