Author: SparklyWarTanks

Posted in Confessions, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Making Sense Analysis, What Just Happened: Personal Anecdotes

A Personal Confession

Posted on by SparklyWarTanks

These words came with tears so I hope you can sympathize.  This is depth therapy:

Lately I’ve really been hating my body but through the lens of my mind coming out my eyes.  A portal of perspective.  Hear me out.

This is not one of those “pick your head up because things will get better” but a “this is a real life struggle kid so learn from it” pieces so look at this…

Just one picture can twist the notion of a once fooled concept of self-acceptance because you thought you began to love “the skin your in” but the reality of it is…

the concept is once you begin it can never regress but my regression looks so good it resembled progression like walking backwards I wanted to say “I love you” but instead I said…

I thought I got over the feeling that my thighs are not the size of the American dream or the white picket fence or the its not what it seems, but its the rugged and thick concept of oppression and prejudice, the judgemental reality that not all words are the truth or not all smiles signify happiness but covering up the reality because the sacred is watching you, you want to see the day where the light is so bright that all this will soon fade away into an oblivious sense of brainwashing…

I thought I would wake up and it would be one of those dreams where you were running from a symbol of your subconscious fears but its not because the tears were real and so were those people

The ones that said that they want you and would stay, but that was just you talking to yourself because you have to really learn to mean what you say in your head like I will start that today and I will end that tomorrow but you don’t…

Instead you give excuses and let your self-talk ruin your self-image constantly digging the hole you call home 

But this ends today

The body that was once in ruins under the ashes like pompeii will rise and become the volcano that took you from existence.  You are no longer going extinct or becoming a personal museum for onlookers to talk or to taste but you will climb from your ashes into an unknown place.

You will not be scared to be strange or to not fit in because you are the one who is meant to change the existing archetypal skin, the status quo, and the origins.

Today marks a holiday where you declared your independance and come back from war, where you remembered what was and proclaim that your dead exterior will fall and let your new interior reveal itself.

You are not what you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be better than right now. So if you hate your body now, start the process to make that perception change tomorrow.

If you were looking for your purpose in life stop looking because its to be who you are to the people you encounter.  There’s no other purpose but to continuously labor on yourself even if that means sleepless night and uncomfortable situations.  

Life is not meant to work for others, but to work on yourself in the pursuit to become something that will shatter negativity, punch fear in the face and to help others in that same process.

You have work to do so I suggest you take one day at a time to appreciate all that you are because no one will be ready for the power that will be you in the future.

Posted in Creative Writing, Quotes

I Crave Rainbows 

Posted on by SparklyWarTanks

The sudden craving of rainbows made me wonder why it rained so often
Why the gray skys made nights seem longer
The longing for the suns rays to pierce my pale white face
I wonder why the rain beating against my window pane made me think of flowers declaring beauty on the cracked concrete starting car crashes and lawsuits
Wondering how the injustice of self-hate created another cold war in my veins
No direct casualties but a need to bleed out the pain
Why the salty water coming from the stress in my body I became terminally ill with disgust from insomnia with the lack of control to stop the beating of my own insanity
The running of my thoughts winning the gold and beating the world record
I became slave to the negative notion that I must hide from danger
But still
The sudden craving of rainbows made me wonder why it rained so often

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Power, Quotes, Self-Talk

Build Your Empire Despite Those Who Want to Tear it Down

Posted on by SparklyWarTanks

You’re not going to tear down my :

  • Confidence
  • Self love
  • Self esteem
  • Happiness
  • Hard work
  • Self appreciation
  • Self acceptance
  • Smile
  • Joy
  • Inner peace 
  • Belief
  • Body
  • Strength
  • Courage
  • Bravery 
  • Heart
  • Mind
  • Spirit
  • Faith

And everything else that comes with my empire.

No trespassing.

Keep moving.

Under construction.

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Quotes, Tips

Sparkytips: Know When to Move on

Posted on by SparklyWarTanks
Original Photo: Move on

There is always a time when you will find that you have outgrown a space, when you aren’t growing anymore because you’ve learned enough and your perspective has changed from those around you.  

You are needed some place else.  People need what you can offer, but you can’t help unless you know when to move on from the places you are now.  You are meant to move and reach others in different spaces allowing you to grow as well as those you come in contact with.

Keep moving in your journey.  Don’t trap yourself.

Posted in Making Sense Analysis

No One is Ever Broken 

Posted on by SparklyWarTanks

While its often the case that we struggle on a daily basis about things that bother us, things we can’t change, things that we continuously mourn over, cry over, and can’t let go, its also true that we can never, contrarily, truly be broken.  Struggling with the past, present, and future anxieties often burden our psyches, sometimes even on a physical, emotional and psychological level (as we can see with mental illness being unable to balance the three) we don’t know how to deal with the idea of constant changes and shifts in our lives.  Because of this, I realized feeling a sense of “brokenness” before, that it’s only the “trapped” sensation that we can’t deal with.  

It’s an in between mentality of the before and the unwillingness to change or move on thats the feeling of brokenness.  Its a stuck sensation. The inability to move or make progress.  Not being able to effectively process to a next level in character and being.  Its not being able to let go of the past that is depression, or fearing the future anxiety, or even effectively dealing with emotion bipolar disorders that is the inability to process and deal with the pains and strains around you. It’s not being able to go back to ones once happy stage or comfortable life style or not coping correctly with pain that hinders us from moving on.

By moving on, I dont mean neither forgetting or carrying it with you wherever you go, but instead growing and learning from the experiences that builds character and willingness to become better and stronger. Healthy means of coping means using your life styles, ideologies, and perspectives to break past the window of pain and hardship and using it as a weapon to open your past perspective into something new and more developed.  It’s the spreading of universal happiness and peace, the helping of other people, and the acceptance that you can deal with the pains you endure.  Its important to try not to over exaggerate the current and live in only the present giving yourself enough to endure at the moment of existence. 

We are not broken to the extent of being unable to grow past the weeds of going too far in the past or too deep in the future, but living currently using the past as something learned and the future as on the pursuit of goals.  Don’t feel broken or lost because we just need the current moment to survive and the resources to maintain our livelihood.  Always live for the self now and do what you can now and appreciate the ability to be presently aware.

No one is ever really broken.

Original Photo: Brokenness