It took me awhile to talk to you because you didn’t start how I hoped, with the struggles of everyday anxieties and the pressures of deadlines, the fear of failure and the rawr of my daily worries, I stood silent. In disappointment. I thought you’d be different. You promised me a engagement ring of change, but all I see if everything I left before 3 days before yesterday.
Can I do this? Another year to do my best and hope for a better tomorrow, today. To live in the moment and not in the stresses of what tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…2016. I mean, I want you to be good to me. I want the rain to turn into broken clouds, a pink and yellow sunset. I want the hard nights into content mornings, mornings of gratitude and positivity…2016. In the pursuit to change the world, but the first frown to turn upside down is my own..2016. I want to leave all the baggage and excess pain, the dry scabs and open wombs in the year before. I want to declare the shedding of my dead skin into a new and fresh awakening 2 0 1 6!
2016 I want to wake up and be who I imagined. The one who is not afraid or ashamed to look at her naked body, to declare that she is beautiful in all of her weights and bandages. All that she has covered, unraveled in its exposure. Please 2016 listen! I have to be different then I was when the 4 became a 5 because this 6 is whats going to change my life TWENTY SIXTEEN! Where everything I’ve been confused about will suddenly become clear, like that epiphany that scares you because everything has been right there.
2016. The year I have to be different. Something that I’ve never been before. Happy in my own body, my own mind, not agitated at all the work that needs to be done, but 2016 you’re just a year. A continuation of my life and my stresses, my struggles, my heartbreaks, my pain, my sadness. You are not. You came unexpectedly as I watched the 59 turn to 00, the yells of a new year. What now?
My stomach turned as new goals and motivations just overflowed out of my head, but my body didn’t move. Like a new born baby I wash forced into a new world, unfamiliar, where I’m expected to make something of myself out of the nothingness that I see PLEASE 2016.
This year that 6 will be the 6 things that I will see blossom out of the dry cracked dirt. The me that overcomes and removes all the weeds around the rose…2016 will be the year that I am reborn into something I’ve never seen.
I can’t be who I’ve been and I can’t continue to living as if I haven’t been given the gift of individuality, independence, and opportunity. I can’t go back now because you’re already here…2016
A Broken Tank