For 2020 and beyond I am prioritizing self-care and self-love that is defined by me and only me. With each week reflecting on various ways to reflect and process my feelings, this week is redefining my worth to MYSELF.
Having a past of people-pleasing is hard to realize and even harder to overcome. Not seeing myself as valuable or worthy of love has influenced a history of constant “doing” in order to prove myself to those around me.
This habit ends now.
So, I’m saying no to:
What is not for me.
What makes me uncomfortable.
What doesn’t serve my needs.
What I don’t have the energy for.
Being available to everyone.
Giving away all of my energy.
“Fixing” other people’s problems.
And, I’m saying yes to:
What fills me with joy.
Building lasting connections.
Feeling good about myself.
Expressing my needs.
Allowing myself to be seen.
Reaching out to others.
Doing things for fun.
Being open to love.
Affirmation: I am open to loving myself unconditionally and unapologetically.
Release what’s causing you anxiety. Accept what’s unknown. Take one moment at a time. Let go of what’s triggering your depression. Realize what’s happening now and appreciate the present moment.
Allow yourself time and space to forgive and move on. What does that look like for you? Even if you are forgiving yourself for holding onto things that hurt you, grant the present you permission to begin the process of transferring past memories into strength and anxiety into ambition.
It’s okay to feel and reflect. Think things through as you realize and release.
Change is scary, but change can be what pushes us in the right direction. If we are to accept new opportunities and challenge our own complacency, we must first welcome change.
There are people, places, and experiences waiting for us to open ourselves to something different than what we are used to. To be able to see ourselves in something better, we can’t be afraid to want something more or try something out of our comfort zone.
We must establish clear boundaries, believe we can thrive, know our limits, and understand our worth to embrace the changes that will allow our lives to reap the benefits of everything we deserve.
Also, yes, I thought because this happened so often I was somehow unlovable, ugly, unworthy of attention or love. I thought I deserved this because something was “wrong” with me and I needed to “fix” myself so others would want me.
25 years and counting and now I know that I am not a reflection of how I was treated, of the countless times I didn’t feel good enough. I know now I am worthy of love, affection, and attention. This does not mean, however, that no one will reject, ghost, or push me to the side; but this does mean that I have the choice to not allow someone else’s behavior to reflect how I see my worth.
My worth and value are intrinsic. No one can take away my worth.
So, if you ever find yourself questioning your worth because of how someone else treated you, STOP. Always remember that you are worthy, enough, valuable, lovable, and beautiful. No one can take those ineffaceable things from you.
The more you learn to love yourself, the easier it will become to not allow other people’s actions to sway how you see everything you already are.