Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, My Trending Stories

Self-Realization

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I was scared of my deepened sadness and pessimism

I was scared when I started to panic

I was scared when my shadow was resurrecting itself from the depths of my regression

The ways I wanted to perfect myself in the mirror or I would hate how I looked

The ways I didn’t believe anymore

The way I felt what everyone else was feeling

The anger I felt when they said I couldn’t

The tendencies

The habits

I locked myself in my room

I closed my door

I stood by myself

Myself was coming out

I wanted to lock her back in my psyche

I realized that who she is who I am

I wanted to swallow her in myself

Again

It’s better not to cope in that way…

Cope with regression

Instead of coping with progression

I learned that she is me

The me who was a step ahead of who I was

I read the note she wrote me when she came out

I am dangerous

I am who you are

The girl who is unafraid

Unafraid of the unknown ahead

Because you don’t know who I am

But I know who you are

And it’s time for that girl to wake up a woman

A woman who is unapologetically in control of herself

And nothing will make her afraid of every part of herself that she once hid away from reality

She is you and you can’t hide her anymore

I am here and I am you

Digest the words…

Control

Power

Peace

Perseverance

and beginning

This is a beginning

Posted in Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, My Trending Stories

Crazy

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Sometimes she liked the sound glass made when it hit the ground
There’s something about shattered glass that made her crazy seem less chaotic
Her crazy made darkness into indigo and blood blossom into dripping roses
Her crazy dead in the silence of the morning moisture, laying wide eyes under the red white and orange horizon, flat on her back a new cycle of 24, her crazy
Her crazy stiff like paralysis untouchable, unlike the craziness around her,
unique
numbness
How crazy was she that she dreamt and the ideas in her head jumbled into a mush of oblivion beauty, how the meadows were such a fresh green scent, a bed of flowers rushing out of her veins and out of into the concrete, making cities back into forests
The nature in the natural
Crazy
How she saw death caress the goosebumps of the morning fears but life coming to rescue and recreating, the crazy came again, and lately confusion is normality
The thing about crazy is its many masks of reality, like Plato in the cave, our ignorance so bliss we can cut it with a knife, staring at our own illusions and unable to see
The light
The gray in the black and white
She was crazy
She didn’t believe anymore, the ink in the lies, feeding her the spoon of perceived truth, but was it really truth?
She spat out depression and threw up anxiety because deception caused the stigma that she was crazy
Mental illness was what they said caused her hesitancy because her ignorance before walked her down the aisle of matrimony, but reality divorced her, nothing is definite and she can’t trust
Now she is just crazy
The color in the black and white
The unanswerable questions
The abyss of uncertainty
Sometimes she liked the sound glass made when it hit the ground
There’s something about shattered glass that made her crazy seem less chaotic
Posted in Creative Writing, My Trending Stories

I, the Spectator: Create and Destroy

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I, the spectator

See the world a canvas

An empty canvas

Where we see, we feel in our own perspective

The world is but a perception of the spectator

We create the stories

The stories of the people we encounter

The Landscapes we see

and the moments we capture

I, the spectator rule over anything I place on my empty canvas

The spectator quiet and observing

Creates and Destroys

In our own heads, through our own eyes

We are the creator and  the creation

We speculate and we analyze

We criticize and we televize

Just passing by

We view

We observe

We witness

We look

We recreate everything that is perceived

We are the spectators

Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, My Trending Stories

New Year Same Me

This year is not a year of new things, its a year of continuation. We keep telling ourselves that we will start something and we never do. We tell ourselves things will be different but yet we stay the same. Why is that? Instead of feeding ourselves false dreams and goals, a new illusion, we should instead tell ourselves we must let go what holds us back and keep doing what keeps us going. We must do more of our passions and work on taking away our miseries. Our goals should build based on what we already accomplished and not add to the list of unaccomplished empty nothingness. This year is a year we work with ourselves. We love ourselves. We care for ourselves. Do things that we have to do.

This is the year we put ourselves first before anyone else because we are important too. This year will start a series of connections and links that will build to a point where we can’t be put down over the same tired circumstances and situations.

This year is a year of continuous building and tearing. We’ve been through a transition, now we work with the change.

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Posted in Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, Love, My Trending Stories, Quotes

Let Love in Again 

I see how hurt changed you and made you block happiness from coming in. I see how your mannerisms have shifted and how you act like nothing will ever be different. But you see, something good will happen and it will be just for you. Let it in when it does. Pain and hurt shouldn’t last forever. Letting it persist is a choice. Whatever it is, whatever has happened, whatever they did, let it go, don’t blame or push away good that’s coming to you. You have to be happy. You have to let the opportunity in, for your sake. You need to set yourself free from that misery.  Let love in. Let it help you feel again.

Posted in Confessions, Creative Writing, Keep Moving: Motivation and Inspiration, My Trending Stories

The Girl in the Shadow: Introduction

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Here is an introduction to a series of short stories I will write.  The Girl in the Shadow is a part of my creative process to grasp and understand what its like to be an introvert and an empath.  Two new concepts to me.  Also a part of SparklyWarTanks’ Writing to Heal, this writing will be both encouraging, bazaar, fictional, and autobiographical.  She is something new to me.

And I tell the story of the girl in the shadow. She sees and feels everything, from the hurts that you feel to the tears that have dried away. She encourages those who are often forgot about and left to decay in their own sad minds and weary souls. She tells the stories of those left behind and outcast. 

Shes in the shadows observing.  Shes an introvert but feels all that is around her, the vibration of the strangers, the betrayal of friends, and struggles of her family.  She’s empathic and can’t help but know the emotions and strains of those around her. An energy she can’t escape.  She’s been running for so long, but now she just sits, watches, and writes.  She writes down the emotions, and hurt, and…Read more